


Waking Up In Vegas

by Losille



Series: The Hollywood Series [2]
Category: Actor RPF, True Blood RPF
Genre: F/M, Gen, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-27
Updated: 2012-09-26
Packaged: 2017-11-15 03:20:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 79,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/522576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Losille/pseuds/Losille
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to the one-shot PWP European. Benny the wardrobe assistant has discovered that Alexander Skarsgard is only European, and that he wants more than a tumble in wardrobe work room. Can they bridge the gap from coworkers to lovers, despite their pasts?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written at the request of Cinderella1181 who asked for a sequel to European involving pink Lycra, Cinderella, candle light, and a picnic blanket. Story based EXTREMELY loosely off of Katy Perry's song "Waking Up in Vegas".

Chapter 1  
  
Alexander pulled into a parking spot at the True Blood sound stages and cut the ignition to his car, sitting still for a moment. The clock on his phone read 2:45. By some grace, the traffic from the house to the studio had been incredibly light and he had arrived to the set on time for his final meeting with wardrobe before his call time that evening.  
  
Initially, it’d been scheduled for yesterday, but very little of the fitting turned into a fitting.  
  
As a matter of fact, he didn’t even think the fitting should have been considered a fitting. At least, he had not wanted it to be a fitting when he’d shown up yesterday. He’d rather have had the attention of the pretty assistant that’d been at his feet all season hemming his pants shorter because she had made them much too long. He had planned to not let her free until she had at least accepted his invitation to dinner. How he would make her accept it, he hadn’t a plan in the world, but he had barricaded the door so no one could bother them. He grew anxious when others were watching.   
  
When he had locked the latch from the inside of the door, he had thought that perhaps it might seem a little desperate of him to have to resort to such a tactic—unlawful imprisonment—to secure her acceptance to his offer. But what was he to do? He had spent all season, since late November, trying to get her to notice him to no avail.  
  
He’d even endured countless hours listening to the vapid machinations of the Fun Bag Twins because he thought it would make her jealous he was paying attention to them. He’d hoped it would at least garner _some_ reaction from her.  
  
When she came out of her little work room, he made sure he placed himself in her way, so she had to at least say hello to him. Unfortunately, that was all she had ever done—say hello to him. He’d attempted to flirt with her multiple times during his fittings, turning on the roguish charm as high as he could manage, thinking it would ensnare her. She had said a few things to him, though, but they were mainly, “Take this off. Put this on. Turn around, step up, step down.” Six months had passed, and though their schedules tended to be so different that it made it impossible to flirt, he had hoped for at least some chink in her armor.  
  
None had come.  
  
Or, at least, he had not noticed any. Not until yesterday afternoon when she knelt in front of him and paid an inordinate amount of attention to his feet whilst blushing. At that moment, he knew he should make a move. He had to, or he would beat himself for not taking the risk and possibly never seeing her again. He didn’t know if she would be rehired back for the next season.  
  
However, here he sat in his car the following day, and he still did not understand what he found so captivating about the brunette. Due to the fact she barely spoke to him, except to babble away about the current issues of the day, they did not know each other. Oh, certainly, he had found her a bit more intelligent than many women he encountered these days, especially those he met in Hollywood. Benny seemed almost too intelligent to be in the industry and in such a position. But who was he to talk? He’d chosen starbiz, too. Yet, it still didn’t explain all the interest he had in her.   
  
She wasn’t Hollywood’s version of gorgeous, either. Well, no, check that. She was beautiful to him, but not the blonde, plastic type of beautiful. She was beautiful because she was natural: she eschewed make up, her sparkling eyes looked electric blue against her pale skin, and she nearly always pinned her hair back into a ponytail. After yesterday, he knew without a glimmer of a doubt that she had never seen a plastic surgeon. He supposed a big name designer wouldn’t bang down her door to model for him. And she wasn’t necessarily the type of woman with striking looks that would allow others the ability to pick her out of the crowd. Well, not until she smiled, at least. When she smiled and laughed, everything changed.  
  
While he found himself drawn to women like her in the past, there was something different about this one.  
  
Mystery surrounded this wardrobe assistant and it enthralled him. For the life of him, he could not figure out what did it to him. Soon after meeting her this year, he could not stop thinking about her. Or the way her eyes lit up when she got excited or happy about something. Or how, as she knelt in front of him, he could on occasion catch a glimpse of ample cleavage.  
  
It was amazing he’d been able to keep any modesty about himself when he was in her presence because she affected him so.  
  
And Alexander didn’t like it one bit. It scared him. He’d felt this sort of thing before, and it had always ended badly in the past. He swore he wouldn’t fall into the trap again.  
  
As soon as he had kissed her yesterday, he realized his folly. He was lost.   
  
The worst part about it all was that though they’d had dinner together, they still hadn’t talked about anything important. The last thing either of them needed was a rumor floating around set regarding their relationship. Whatever that relationship was. It was probably bad enough that they were seen eating together, and she had that thoroughly tousled, satisfied look about her that said she’d just had amazing sex.  
  
And boy, had it been amazing. Alexander had not realized how long he had gone without until he kissed her. The sweet release yesterday afternoon had relaxed and rejuvenated him.  
  
So here he faced another fitting session with the woman, and he did not know where they stood. He found himself nervous to face a woman for the first time in a very long time. For a man of thirty-two years, and nearly half that time being confident around women, it was a very troubling realization.  
  
His phone beeped beside him, and he looked at it. The appointment reminder came up, reminding him of the fitting. Well, he’d be late again.  
  
Alexander eased himself out of the car and into the comfortable late spring temperatures of Los Angeles. A few of the people milling about outside the soundstages said their hellos; he did as well before heading back into the work room warehouses where the impromptu costumes and special effects people had set up their shops. He pushed open the door and stepped inside, walking past the shelves filled with fabric, and into the main work area.  
  
He found her in the same position as he found her the day before, except this time, she worked busily cutting a pale blue fabric to a hand drawn pattern. She wore ear buds attached to the iPod in an arm band on her left arm. He walked toward her, and slipped his arms around her belly. The movement caught her off guard and she let out a muffled scream, jumping a few inches. She pulled the ear buds out of her ears and turned around in his arms, pounding a fist in his chest.  
  
“Don’t ever do that again!” she exclaimed, pushing him back. “Jesus Christ. You took ten years off my life for that!”  
  
“Sorry,” he said sheepishly, but he really wasn’t completely sorry. She seemed like she needed a little excitement in her life. At least something more than work.  
  
She shook her head, pacing a few moments. The adrenaline in her system seemed to take forever to return to normal as she paced and for the shaking of her hands to cease. In the future, he would know better than to creep up on her in such a way.  
  
After a moment, she took in one long breath and let it out through her lips loudly, making it sound like an annoyed huff instead. Closing her eyes and shaking her head, she sighed. She opened her eyes and gave him a small smile.  
  
“Sorry, you just really freaked me out,” she replied. “I’m out of practice. Not used to a man coming up behind me like that to say hello.”  
  
“Maybe it was a poor choice,” he said.  
  
Benny chuckled and shook her head. “No. I’m just stressed and jumpy. I’m having everything thrown at me at once. This—whatever it is. And everything else. It’s just a lot on my plate.”  
  
“What is?” he asked.  
  
“I’ve got so much to do and no time to do it,” she said, turning back to her work and finishing cutting the piece of fabric. The wheel cutter she used looked vaguely like a pizza cutter, but was quite a bit sharper. “I’ve been working with a little community theater company off and on for the past year, part time, and only as an extra set of hands. Well, their wardrobe supervisor had to take a leave of absence for some reason or another. So I was handed the half completed wardrobe for _The King and I_ production they’re putting on. Then I have like a dozen graduation dress orders from my cousin and some of her friends. And my roommate, Joie, is getting married in June and I have to work on the wedding dress I promised I would make for her. She still hasn’t decided what she wants, and it is now the end of April.”  
  
She folded up the expensive-looking cloth carefully and looked up at him. Benny bit her lower lip, a fetching blush coloring her cheeks. “Sorry. Here I am babbling again. You could probably care less.”  
  
Alexander shook his head and took the few steps toward her, stopping her movements. She looked up at him, her blue eyes meeting his. “Of course I’m interested, Benny. What I said yesterday wasn’t a lie.”  
  
“You said a lot yesterday,” she said, and shrugged. “It was right after… well… we were still…”  
  
He frowned. He thought he had made his intentions clear _before_ they had bridged that area of their relationship. Romantic relationship or no, he truly did want to get to know her better, if only to discover finally what attracted him to her so completely.  
  
Leaning in, he pressed his lips to hers, feeling the same surge of excitement wash over him at the slightest touch. Yes, indeed, he definitely needed to figure out why she did this to him. Alexander stepped back and smiled. “I’m serious. Let’s just try it out. See where it goes.”  
  
“Okay,” she said.  
  
Alexander frowned. “You don’t sound convinced.”  
  
“I guess I’m just nervous,” she replied and shrugged, walking over to the rack of clothing still standing where it had the previous day. She said nothing more on the matter and took a gray suit off the rack. “Go put this on… behind the curtain.”  
  
He pursed his lips, not understanding what was going on. Was she purposely trying to push him away? Unfortunately for her, he had no intention of letting her do such a thing. He enjoyed his sanity and if he allowed her to push, he would never come to a conclusion as to the source of the draw and lose a bit of his sanity trying to understand it. She didn’t know what she was in for; a determined Skarsgard was not something to trifle with.  
  
Alexander did as she had told him, and went behind the curtain.  
  
\----  
  
Benny waited until the curtain closed before she expelled the air in her lungs. She found it hard to breathe around him now, which she found strange. She had never once felt such a thing around the man. Until yesterday. There was nothing in the world that could keep her from losing her breath or make her focus on her work when he was around. Hell, he didn’t even need to be present, and her mind went adrift replaying their afternoon and she felt herself growing nervous again.  
  
Truly, she didn’t know why she was so worried about him. They’d always gotten on well before, even if the interaction had been professional and rare. She had never felt lightheaded or short of breath. Yet here she stood, freaking out over the man. The gorgeous man. The intelligent man. The nice man.   
  
In some ways, Benny found it a little confusing as to how she had garnered the attention of just such a person. Never once before had she met a man like Alex who had been interested in her and had all those qualities. Unfortunately, she found that all the men she knew had one or two of those qualities, but never all three. More often than not, the gorgeous ones had the personality of dishrags, the intelligent ones had a chip on their shoulder, and the nice ones had Beta Male written all over them.   
  
But here he was: masculine, attractive, intellectual, kind and reasonably successful. And he could care less about the Fun Bag Twins. No, he was interested in her. There had to be some god or goddess somewhere laughing at her, and the joke they had sprung. This was not her life. This was another woman’s life. Someone who deserved Alexander Skarsgård.  
  
It couldn’t be hers.  
  
She wasn’t quite sure when all of this doubt had started brewing in her head. Twenty four hours had passed since their last “fitting”, and afterward she had thought that they might have the ability to make something out of this. Yesterday evening’s filming seemed good as well, though they stayed busy and had no time to speak.  
  
Her worry probably started as she prepared to leave for the night, and she noticed Alex talking with Marianna—the makeup girl and Fun Bag Twin #1. He’d been attentive to her, and even flirted a bit from what she could hear as she passed by him to leave for the night. She so wanted to stop and plant a kiss on his inviting lips, but she could not bring herself to do it: not after he’d just finished rehearsing a scene making out with Evan.  
  
Benny had gone home and lay in bed thinking it over. She vowed she’d not care if he really didn’t want to see where it went. As amazing as the sex had been, she could not let herself care. The last time she did, she had ended up pregnant and alone, and she decided then she’d never let that happen again to protect herself.  
  
And to protect Harry.  
  
As far as she was concerned, she had already let it go too far. At about 3 AM, still unable to find comfort in slumber, she decided she would end this before it even had a chance to get off the ground. She couldn’t have anything with Alex, and instead of leading him on, she’d stop it now.   
  
But then he’d come back for the fitting today, and he’d had to go and kiss her like that. And then sound genuinely interested in her—almost hurt with her not having believed him. Was he really this amazing, or were her instincts deceiving her again?  
  
The curtain pushed back and out sauntered Alex, the suit hugging him correctly in all the right places. He grinned as she eyed him carefully in his movements. And then he had to go make her weak in the knees with that smile. Benny grabbed her pincushion and trudged over to him, kneeling down.  
  
He remained blissfully silent until she finished and stood. Benny sighed and checked the jacket to make sure it fit correctly on his broad shoulders. It did. There was definitely something to be said for being meticulous in her garment construction.  
  
“Alright, that’s all I needed to fit,” she said. “Go change back.”  
  
He went back behind the curtain and she returned to her work table. “So how is it you lucked out again and no one is working this afternoon?” he called.  
  
“I’m sure not for the reason you’re hoping,” she replied. “I’m here because I was supposed to have fit you yesterday.”  
  
“I know,” he said. “But don’t other people have other things to do?”  
  
“They’ve got all their garments done,” she replied. “A week ago.”  
  
“You waited until the last minute?” he asked.  
  
Benny laughed. “No. I’m a perfectionist when it comes to this stuff. The whole world is going to see it, and I’m not going to have any mistake visible.”  
  
“Well, there’s nothing wrong with taking pride in your work,” he said as he stepped out and handed her the garments. She hung up the shirt and jacket and carried the pants over to the sewing machine with the gray thread.  
  
When she realized he wasn’t going anywhere, she looked up at him. “You’re free to go hang out in your trailer.”  
  
“I’d like it more if you’d join me,” he replied.  
  
Benny sighed. “I’ve got work to do.”  
  
He nodded his head and looked down at the work table he stood beside, and fiddled with the scattered bric-a-brac. She watched him closely, and he eventually unearthed her sketchbook from the pile of fabric pieces she had cut before he arrived.  
  
“You’re awful nosy,” she remarked, squinting at the small needle eye, not wanting to concede defeat. But she knew the needle would never be threaded at the rate she was going. “Alex?”  
  
“Hmm?” he asked, looking up at her.  
  
She pointed across the room. “Would you mind handing me my purse? It’s on that folding chair.”  
  
“Sure,” he said, taking the sketchbook with him and walking over to the chair. He picked up both purse and chair and walked over to her. She took the purse, and he set the chair down in front of her, before sitting.   
  
“Thanks,” she said, digging for her glasses case. She pulled out the small frames and put them on her nose, the eye of the needle now no longer fuzzy. “I swear, I’m an old lady.”  
  
He laughed. “Very funny. You can’t be… over twenty-five.”  
  
“Thanks for making me feel good,” she said. “I’m twenty-nine. Thirty in November.”  
  
“No you’re not,” he said.  
  
Benny chuckled. “Oh, yes, I am.”  
  
“What are you doing as an assistant costumer, then?” he asked. “You should be just a costumer.”  
  
“It’s a job,” she said. “I’m not knocking it. Besides, it’s really a second career.”  
  
“What’s the first?” he asked.  
  
Benny sighed. “I have a master’s degree in history.”  
  
“Why sewing, then?”  
  
“I’ve always sewn,” she said. “My mom taught me when I was younger. She was a seamstress working for a tailor. Since then, it’s been a hobby. Working in film, TV and theatre was really the only way to combine the two other than teaching. And I gave that up a couple years ago.”  
  
 _Please don’t ask why_ , she thought.  
  
Wonderfully, he didn’t. “There’s more to you than meets the eye, Benny.”  
  
“I don’t have a whole lot that meets the eye,” she muttered, pressing gently on the foot pedal. The machine whirred to life.  
  
While the machine sewed and she guided the fabric, he flipped through her sketchbook. It was as she was trimming off the gray thread of one finished pant leg that he paused on a page, looking at it more closely. His crystal blue gaze flicked up to her for a minute before a broad grin spread across his lips. He turned it around to her, and she rolled her eyes.   
  
The sketch she had made for Alan had been nothing more than that. Alan had contemplated following the book more closely, if just for the scene in which Eric stuffed himself into pink and turquoise Lycra, but they had eventually taken the season a completely different way. In a way, Benny was a bit sad they had.   
  
She would have given anything to see Alex put that get up on.  
  
“You’re lucky you got out of that story line,” she replied. “I would have loved seeing you flouncing around in that.”  
  
Alex laughed and shrugged, placing the book back in his lap, but he didn’t change the page. Instead he gazed at it longer.  
  
“I should make it and have you wear it around just to see the reaction I would get,” she replied.   
  
“I’m sure it’d be interesting,” he laughed and was quiet again. She glanced up at him, wondering what was going through his head. His face looked uncertain.  
  
“Have you heard about Stephen and Anna’s private party in Vegas next Friday, after the main cast and crew party?” he asked.  
  
Benny shrugged. “I heard Nelsan talking about it. I wasn’t invited, if that’s what you mean. It’s for couples.”  
  
Alex smiled. “Well, I need a date. Would you go with me?”  
  
She looked up at him and met his eyes. They were serious. “I—I guess… do I have to have another costume? I heard Nelsan say he needed two. One for the main party, and then another for the after party.”  
  
“Have you heard what the theme of the party is?” he asked.  
  
Benny felt her face color slightly. “I have.”  
  
“I don’t have anything planned yet,” he replied. “But I think this would classify as ‘sexy’.”  
  
“To some,” she remarked.  
  
Alex grinned wolfishly. “And definitely get a few snickers. But can you do the top? With the Fangtasia on it?”  
  
“I’d have to embroider it, but yes,” she said. “You’re serious about this?”  
  
“Of course!” he said. “I like to live on the wild side.”  
  
Benny laughed.  
  
“However,” he started, “you have to agree to go with me and wear something sexy, too.”  
  
“Alex,” she protested. As it was, the costume she was in the process of making for herself for the main event was pretty daring by her standards: the corseted late Victorian gown did a lot with her cleavage. But she had a feeling it wouldn’t be a lot by his standards. However, she was pretty sure she’d give up a lot to see Alex in that costume. Screw modesty.  
  
He shook his head. “Nuh-uh. I’m not doing it unless you wear something revealing and sexy. I want to be able to show you off.”  
  
“But—,” she started, but he silenced her.  
  
“Come on,” he prodded.  
  
Benny frowned. “That’s another thing I have to make.”  
  
He looked down at the costume and then back up at her. “Will _that_ really take you so long?”  
  
“Not that,” she said. “My costume. I have to make a new one.”  
  
“Deal or no deal, Benny,” he issued the ultimatum.  
  
Benny sat back in her seat, poring over the possibilities in her head. However, she couldn’t take the hopeful gaze from him any longer. It was just too much.  
  
“Fine,” she said. “Whatever. You change into it, and after I make sure you’ve worn it for everyone to see, then I will change into mine. Not before.”  
  
Alex grinned. “Perfect.”  
  
Benny had no idea what she had gotten herself into, but she didn’t have time to discuss it further with Alex when his cell phone started ringing in his pocket. He looked at the caller identification and sighed.   
  
“It’s my dad,” he said. He picked up the call and said a few things in Swedish before hanging up. Alex stood up and walked around to her, leaning down.   
  
She looked up at him. “What?”  
  
“Just saying goodbye,” he replied, brushing his lip across hers again. “I have to call him back or I’ll never get him.”  
  
“Okay,” she said quietly.  
  
He kissed her again, this time deeply. “I’ll see you later, lover.”  
  
Before she could stop him, he left the studio. She took a few deep breaths, trying to regain some levelheadedness. When had she become anything more than a onetime thing? And since when had she been so easily talked into something?  
  
And why did he insist on using Eric Northman’s—and her—favorite term of endearment? Why did it affect her so?  
  
Benny sighed and looked down at the pant leg waiting to be hemmed.   
  
This was not good.  
  
Not good at all.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
Benny walked into her quiet house later that night, glad that the week’s filming was over. Well, at least it was for her. The other actors and the scheduled support staff would be around for the weekend hours. Her shift was always Monday through Friday so she would have the weekends to spend with Harrison; luckily she’d been given the choice of when she wanted to work even though there had been a chance she would just be given any schedule due to her low-man-on-the-totem status.  
  
But she was glad her schedule looked relatively free this weekend—her side projects be damned. Eight cocktail dresses wouldn’t take that long to put together, since they weren’t incredibly formal, and Joie hadn’t decided on anything about her dress yet besides that it was going to be pink. The exact shade of pink was up in the air, but she couldn’t do much even if the wedding was in a little over a month.  
  
This weekend, she was going to curl up with her son and watch some cartoons. Maybe go to the park. Anything so she didn’t think about Alexander.  
  
How had she let that happen, anyway? How could she have forgotten herself so much so that she had, in turn, fucked someone like that, and then accepted the fact that he wanted to see if a relationship would blossom between them? As much as she would have liked the fairytale romance Alexander inspired in her mind, she knew it was difficult for even the most regular of people. Factoring in who he was and just how popular he would become, a good relationship with just such a person was a pipe dream and nothing more. She’d tried before with someone like him. She knew from experience it would never happen.  
  
Yet here she was getting lulled into a false sense of security that something like this could happen. Even if they were one of the lucky couples who made it out of relationship infancy, when he met Harrison, he’d take one look at the cherubic child and run the other way. And she wouldn’t be able to blame him for it, either.  
  
Being saddled with a child was a lot to ask anyone, particularly a man who enjoyed his freedom and was a nomad by profession.  
  
Benny sighed, shaking her head of her thoughts and kicking her shoes off into the ever growing pile of footwear just inside the door. She’d have to sort through them sometime this weekend while she cleaned the desperately cluttered and dirty house. After setting her bags down on the other side of the door, she walked to her bedroom. As she passed Joie’s door she heard a one-sided conversation. Hearing the sickly sweet cooing of a lover, Benny rolled her eyes and continued back to her room. That was the absolute last thing she wanted to hear at the moment.  
  
She stopped at Harrison’s bedroom and stepped inside over to his crib. He lay curled up in his blankets, the stuffed bear he named Teddy held securely in his arms. The twin bed they were trying to switch him to sat forgotten in the other corner of the room. Pushing the rails down, she leaned over and kissed his cheek softly, rubbing his back with her hand. He stirred a moment but didn’t wake, so she crept back out of the room and went to hers.  
  
She changed and washed her face, feeling a hundred times better than before and ready to relax for the night. Benny glanced at her bed, contemplating sleep, but knew the gnawing in the pit of her belly wouldn’t allow her to sleep until she satisfied the urge. She went to the kitchen and found an opaque casserole dish covered with tinfoil. Peeling it back, she squealed quietly in delight: it was her mother’s eggplant parmagiana. Apparently the gods _had_ smiled upon her today. Dishing herself up some in a bowl, she put it in the microwave, watching it spin around endlessly.  
  
 _So much for my diet_ , Benny thought.  
  
Which was another good point. She was no model. Ever since she had Harrison, her body refused to drop the last twenty-five pounds to her pre-baby weight. She wore track pants and sweatshirts most of the time because they were comfortable. In the past twenty months, she had become the epitome of a mom. What could Alex possibly see in that, when she was certain he had women much more svelte and quite a bit more worried about their physical appearance than she was? Alex needed someone who could stand up beside him as that beauty.  
  
And yet, even Alex had said he was attracted to her because she wasn’t like the Fun Bag Twins. But that could mean many different things; it could have meant she was only smarter, nicer or more genuine. It didn’t have to mean he thought that way according to looks.  
  
However, she knew he had to find her at least somewhat physically attractive. He wouldn’t have been nearly as enthusiastic in their frenzied coupling yesterday had he been repulsed in the slightest. Unless, of course, he was an oddity of a man who only cared about personality—and that’s what got him off. She knew otherwise, though. All men were the same. Beauty might have played a more minor roll to some, but it was still important.  
  
“Are you just going to stare at the microwave, or are you willing it with the power of your mind?”  
  
Benny jumped and turned to find Joie standing in the kitchen entry, a look of mock concern on her face.  
  
“Sorry, just thinking,” Benny replied, reaching for the microwave. She took the food out and grabbed a fork from the drawer. Taking a bite, she savored the taste with a moan of pleasure. “Heaven.”  
  
Joie laughed and followed her out into the living room. “You’re going to go running with me tomorrow, by the way. I feel like a heifer after all the parmagiana I ate tonight.”  
  
Benny frowned.  
  
“You haven’t gone in a few weeks,” Joie reminded.  
  
“That’s because my mother hasn’t been able to watch him in the mornings on the weekends,” Benny said. “She’s working at faire.”  
  
“Which,” Joie said, “I was harassed about when she dropped him off tonight. We’re apparently going to the faire this weekend or next weekend because we’re ‘horrible daughters who never go to see her’. I love your mom, but I hate being an adopted daughter in these situations.”  
  
“I see her every day when I drop him off at her house,” Benny said, ignoring the last comment. “Besides I don’t have time. I’ve got too much to do! I have to work to put a roof over our heads and food on the table.  
  
“Oh, quit being melodramatic,” Joie scolded. “It does nothing for your complexion.”  
  
“My complexion? Seriously? We’re going with that?” Benny asked.  
  
Joie rolled her eyes. “You have an entire month to get those graduation dresses done. Your contract for True Blood expires Friday, if they don’t rehire you. My dress… well… I still haven’t decided. What else could you possibly have to do?”  
  
“Spend time with my child,” Benny said. “And, oh yeah, we’re going to Las Vegas next weekend. Or did we forget that? I have to finish our costumes and then create two more.”  
  
“What? Why do you have to make more?” Joie asked, confused.  
  
 _Shit_ , Benny thought. She’d had every intention in the world to not tell Joie right away about Alex, but it looked like that hope was fleeting.  
  
“Alex,” she replied.  
  
“Alex? Alexander _Skarsgard_ Alex? That Alex? Tall, hot blond Swede, Alex?” Joie asked in disbelief. “Next huge thing, Alex?”  
  
Benny sighed. “He was looking through my sketches and came across the pink Lycra one. Apparently he needed a ‘sexy’ costume to go to Anna and Stephen’s after party.”  
  
“Can’t he just go as himself?” Joie asked.  
  
“I know, right?” Benny said with a small chuckle.  
  
“So you’re making him the Lycra outfit,” Joie said. “You’re specifically designing for a big name actor.”  
  
“He's not big name yet. And it’s just a costume,” Benny shrugged. “Hardly a suit on the cutting-edge of fashion or anything.”  
  
“Yeah, but it’s something,” Joie replied. She fell silent again, and Benny could see the wheels in her head turning. Joie looked back at her suspiciously. “Who’s the other costume for?”  
  
Benny felt her cheeks grow warm, and she shook her head. “No one.”  
  
“Who?” Joie asked.  
  
Benny closed her eyes and hung her head. “For me.”  
  
“For Anna and Stephen’s party?” Joie asked and only waited a moment before deciding she had confirmed it. “I thought it was a couple’s party.”  
  
“It is,” Benny mumbled.  
  
“Who are you—,” Joie started but paused, her face lighting up. “No you’re not! You’re fucking kidding me! Really?”  
  
Benny didn’t reply. She would betray herself if she did.  
  
Joie had started bouncing in her seat, suddenly excited over the prospect. She had been around for most of Benny’s life, and had been there for all her past relationships—good and bad. Yet Benny had never seen her so excited over one of her boyfriends.  
  
“Well, I know what your costume should be, if he’s going as that. And you don’t even have to make anything if you don’t want,” Joie said.  
  
“What?” Benny asked.  
  
Joie grinned evilly. “You should be Sookie.”  
  
“What do you mean?” Benny questioned.  
  
“In that scene to go to the orgy,” Joie said. “She’s basically Daisy Duke, but Jessica Simpson style.”  
  
Benny shook her head. “No.”  
  
“Come on! Why not? You’d look hot,” Joie stated. “Especially after I get done with your hair and makeup.”  
  
“Joie,” she said.  
  
Joie frowned. “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you you’re freakin’ hot, but I guess I’ll tell you one more. You’re hot, and you need to show those amazing assets off. So what? You don’t have the cut abs any more, but I guarantee you, no one is going to be looking at that. They’re going to be looking at your amazing legs and tits.”  
  
“I don’t know,” Benny said.  
  
“Trust me,” Joie said.  
  
Benny sighed. “If you can get this together without me having to buy anything or make anything, okay.”  
  
Joie screeched in happiness. “You need those old washed out jean shorts you wore back in college.”  
  
“Huh?” Benny asked.  
  
“You know the ones I’m talking about,” she said.  
  
“I doubt I’d fit into them,” Benny said.  
  
Joie rolled her eyes. “They were loose then. Now they’ll fit like Dukes. It’ll be just like Sookie. Except I think you’re just going to wear a tiny little vest instead of a tank top...”  
  
“Joie, I’m just going to end up looking like a cheap Vegas whore,” she said. “I need something that actually looks like a costume.”  
  
“Fine! Go as Pam and wear a boring pastel sweater set,” Joie said.  
  
“I didn’t say that,” Benny said. “I do… want to be sexy for the party. I just don’t know what. I want it to go along with Alex’s.”  
  
Joie sat silently for a moment, looking at her. “You’ve got it bad for him.”  
  
“No I don’t,” she said. “I don’t want anything to do with him. He’ll just be another JC.”  
  
“Not everyone’s a jackass like JC,” Joie said.  
  
Benny shrugged her shoulders. “He may not be a jackass, but he’s still an actor, and all actors I’ve met are the same.”  
  
“You speak ill of your entire family,” Joie said.  
  
“That’s how I know,” Benny said.  
  
“Your father and mother have been married for thirty-two years. Since they were eighteen,” Joie pointed out. “They’ve made it work.”  
  
“That’s because they weren’t ‘acting’ at the time,” Benny replied. “They became actors. And besides, you’ve met my father and seen firsthand how fucked up he is. I think my mom just stays with him because he keeps her guessing.”  
  
Joie pursed her lips tightly. “You know as well as I that your mother and father may not be perfect, but they have a love that is so deeply engrained neither could survive without the other one.”  
  
“Exactly,” Benny said. “Created _before_ anyone became an actor.”  
  
Joie threw her hands up in disgust. “You’re impossible! This may be the best thing that has ever happened and here you are killing it before it even starts.”  
  
“It’s easier that way,” Benny said.  
  
“Fine, die a lonely old maid.” Joie shook her head and closed her mouth. They sat in a tense silence for a few moments until Joie opened her mouth again. “I have the perfect costume.”  
  
Benny grumbled and got up from her seat, moving toward the kitchen to drop off her bowl before crashing for the night. “What?”  
  
“Bubba,” Joie said, her smile growing wide.  
  
“How—,” she started.  
  
Joie grinned. “You said you didn’t want to buy or make anything. That doesn’t mean I can’t buy you anything.”  
  
Benny stopped in her tracks, thinking it over. If she was going to the place Benny thought she might be going in her thinking, it could work. And it would be funny, too.  
  
“You like it,” Joie said. “Great! I’ll go to store and get the things I need.”  
  
“Whatever,” Benny chuckled and shook her head.  
  
Joie laughed. “The conversation about Alex isn’t over.”  
  
“May I have a reprieve for the night? I’m going to go pass out,” she said.  
  
“Yes,” Joie said. “And we’re going to the faire Sunday.”  
  
Benny groaned. “Fine. Whatever.”  
  
“Love you, too,” Joie said, grabbing her laptop that was on the couch beside her. She opened the lid.  
  
“Night,” Benny said.  
  
“Night,” Joie muttered.  
  
Benny shook her head and left the kitchen to go to her bedroom. Hopefully she would wake up in the morning and not think anything of Alexander, or the pain she had buried deep in her heart now coming to the surface again. She didn’t need that ache where Alex was concerned. Not one bit.  
  
With a sigh, she dropped onto her bed and snuggled into the pillowy mattress and soft sheets. But she wouldn’t lie: having a warm body like Alex there to hold her at night wouldn’t have been so horrible, either.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
Benny came awake slowly Sunday morning, the sound of faint chirping of a bird outside her bedroom window the first thing to pervade any of her senses. She burrowed deeper into the comforter and shifted, keeping her eyes closed as long as she could manage. It was her day to sleep in, after all. But her attempts to stay asleep were thwarted by the feeling of a small, pointy knee pressed into her back. She woke fully at the intrusion and turned around, finding Harry wide awake and grinning at her.  
  
“What are you doing out of your bed?” she asked sleepily.  
  
He giggled.  
  
“Did Auntie Joie get you out?” Benny asked.  
  
He shook his head.  
  
Benny closed her eyes and buried her head into her pillow, letting out a low groan. She was sick and tired of Harrison climbing over his crib’s railings and ending up in her bed, or in the living room playing with his toys at 2 in the morning. First he needed to start sleeping in a real bed, and then they had to get to the point where he learned that there were boundaries until Mommy came to wake him up in the morning. But she refused to shut his door on him. She had to find some way to teach him, though.   
  
One of these days Mommy would have company, and wouldn’t that be fun to explain…  
  
The thought crossed her mind before she could stop it. Suddenly, one blissful night free of dreams of Alexander was shattered with this one thought. And she couldn’t stop the involuntary tug of her lips from making her smile.  
  
Benny raised her head and looked at the alarm clock. Six in the morning. Lovely. She should be sleeping in today. Or at least for a few more hours before they made the pilgrimage out to the renaissance faire. Instead she was awake and staring at her son, and her phone was ringing.  
  
“Fuck,” she muttered before she could filter herself. Harrison soaked new words up like a sponge these days. The last thing she needed was her son running around and spouting off such words, though she could be fairly certain his grandfather had done a fair job in teaching him choice phrases.  
  
Reaching over Harrison, she grabbed the tiny phone and put it to her ear. “Yes?”  
  
“Benny?”  
  
The masculine, faintly accented voice on the other end did unmentionable things to her body against her will. She didn’t like that her heart rate picked up, or that heat suddenly pooled between her legs. And she certain didn’t appreciate the feeling of utter contentment when she listened to him say her name.  
  
“Alex?” she asked, though she knew who was on the other line. She had given him her number a few months back when they were having a particularly difficult time scheduling fittings. Funny that she had forgotten until now, and that she had not made sure to let him have her number since the fateful afternoon three days past. It was even stranger that he had kept it. “What’s up?”  
  
“Well, I just got done shooting,” he said. “I’m sorry it’s so early. But I wanted to see if you would like to grab some breakfast.”  
  
“I’m all the way out in Orange,” she replied. “It’s a little far… and I have plans already this morning.”  
  
“Oh,” he said. “Well then, maybe dinner? I don’t go back to shooting until Tuesday.”  
  
Benny laid her head back on her pillows and let out a long sigh. As much as she wanted to protest, she couldn’t physically make herself do it. She was highly enamored by the Swedish man whether she wanted to be or not, and she could not deny the way he had made her feel about herself.  
  
He made her feel beautiful and sexy even though she didn’t see herself that way a lot of the time.  
  
“Dinner late should be okay,” she said. “I’m going to the faire with my s—with my roommate.”  
  
She couldn’t believe she had almost let it slip. He didn’t need to know about Harrison yet, if he ever did. As far as she was concerned, once they were home from Vegas, this thing they had going could end. There were very good chances that it would, anyway. What, with him finishing the last bits of his filming before he left for his summer break. She’d heard him mention going home to Sweden in a conversation the other day.  
  
Not that she’d been eavesdropping.   
  
“What fair?” he asked.   
  
“It’s in Irwindale,” Benny replied. He wasn’t going to come out, so she wasn’t concerned about telling him where it was.  
  
“Ah, okay,” he replied. “Well, I’ll let you go. I woke you up, and you probably want to laze around.”  
  
Benny laughed. “I wish I could go back to sleep. Once I’m up, I’m up.”  
  
“Well then, I’m doubly sorry,” he replied and then let out a low, suggestive chuckle. “Maybe I can make it up to you later.”  
  
“If you can guarantee me eight hours of uninterrupted sleep, we may have a deal,” she replied.  
  
The other side of the conversation was silent.  
  
Benny laughed. “I’m just joking, Alex.”  
  
“Oh,” he said with a laugh. “Okay.”  
  
Benny noticed Harrison rolling over in the bed, toward the edge of the mattress. She reached out quickly and grabbed his arm before he could fall off the bed. “I’ve got to go, Alex. I’ll give you a call in a little while and we’ll decide what we’re going to do.”  
  
“I look forward to it,” he replied.  
  
“Bye,” she said, hanging up the call on her cell and turning back to her son, pulling him to her and releasing a barrage of tickles on his belly. Harrison laughed wildly and Benny leaned down to blow a raspberry on his cheek, making him giggle some more. She stopped for a minute and looked down at her son’s wide blue eyes, so much like his father’s. Feeling suddenly melancholy, she let out a long sigh.  
  
“What wong, Mommy?” he asked.  
  
“Nothing, Harry,” she said and smiled. She kissed his forehead and moved toward the edge of the bed. “Let’s you and I go get some breakfast and then we’re going to go see Grandma and Grandpa today.”  
  
“Yay!” he shouted, jumping up on the bed. “Horsies?”  
  
Benny nodded her head. “Yes, with the horses.”  
  
“Yay!” he exclaimed again, his excitement palpable.  
  
The day at faire would take her mind off her date and the now wildly beating butterflies in her stomach. At least she hoped it would.  
  
\----  
  
Alexander couldn’t keep the long yawn from escaping as he settled down onto the couch in front of the television. He’d gotten four hours of sleep, which was good by his standards, especially while he was filming the show. He was lucky to get any continuous sleep at all some days. But the four hours plus the little catnaps he’d stolen on set had helped.  
  
He’d been awoken by the rather hot dream in which Benny played a prominent role. Since she had left the studio Friday night, he found his mind wandering to Benny at the most inopportune times. It was insane, this infatuation, to be so consumed by the woman he barely knew. And in an odd sort of cliché way, he couldn’t help but compare his present situation with that of the character he played.  
  
Eric was desperately intrigued by Sookie, and he couldn’t figure out why. She was pretty, but not nearly as perfect as Eric knew he was capable of ensnaring. She had enough sass to hold her own in a group full of vampires without being a push over. There was just something incredibly entrancing about her.  
  
Alexander suffered from the same dilemma. Baring a blood bond or fairy blood, Alex could not make himself understand. It just didn’t make any sense after his history of relationships. He’d put up a pretty sturdy cinderblock wall to keep these types of ardent feelings at bay.  
  
However, what really dumbfounded him about this whole situation was Benny. It’d become glaringly obvious that Benny had been very hurt and used in her past love life. He could sense, though, that she wanted to try this out about as much as he did, even if she wouldn’t admit it to herself or to him. Could there really be another person on this planet more reticent over a potentially amazing relationship then he?  
  
He felt certain he had met his match in that regard in Benny.  
  
At least he’d convinced her to go to dinner with him tonight. It was a start. That was if he couldn’t figure out where she was today so he could mysteriously show up. He wasn’t that desperate… really. He just wanted to see her. But he didn’t think he was a talented enough of an actor to be able to play it off should he run into her.  
  
It wasn’t until his roommate, Charlie, walked into the room that his attention was diverted from Benny. His roommate, who normally wouldn’t be caught dead out of faded jeans and an Ed Hardy shirt, was wearing a kilt and a billowy white shirt, replete with studded leather wrist braces, sporran and tall socks… with tassels.  
  
“Where are you going in that?” Alexander asked incredulously.  
  
“We’re going to the renaissance faire,” his other roommate, Chris, said. Chris wasn’t wearing a costume except for his shirt that read ‘Wenches love me, Dragons fear me’.   
  
Alexander raised an eyebrow at them, wondering what hallucinogenic drug they had gotten into. He knew his roommates—and friends—well. They wouldn’t be caught dead playing dress up.  
  
“What? Don’t give us that look,” Chris replied. “If the renaissance faire is good enough for Hef, then it’s good enough for us.”  
  
“Besides,” Charlie said, “where else can you go where it’s socially acceptable to drink a lot of beer, grope women and stare at their chests, and wear no underwear?”  
  
Alexander laughed. “I didn’t need to know that last bit.”  
  
But then it dawned on him. Renaissance faire. Could this be what Benny had been talking about? It had Benny written all over it with the history and costume thing factored in.  
  
“Where is this renaissance faire?” he asked.  
  
“Oh, out by the Santa Fe Dam,” Charlie said. “Irwindale, I think.”  
  
Alexander felt his lips curving into a smile. His friends now looked at him questioningly, but didn’t say anything to him.  
  
“You’re coming with?” Charlie asked.  
  
“If you don’t mind me tagging along,” Alexander replied.  
  
Chris sighed. “I take no responsibility if you get mobbed.”  
  
Alexander laughed at him. “Yeah, I’ll get mobbed.”  
  
“Dude, love ya, but you stick out like a sore thumb,” Chris said.  
  
Alexander shrugged. “We’ll see how it goes.”  
  
Charlie laughed at him. “Well, come on, there are women and beers waiting.”  
  
\-----  
  
Benny and her tiny entourage headed toward the employee and guest performer entrance and got their day passes that had been left for them by her parents. It wasn’t so much that they needed them—most of the faire staff knew who she was because she had been around since she was born—but it had to be done by the books so the insurance people knew who and what were allowed back stage should anything happen. Harrison was bouncing around uncontrollably as they passed by the second fence line leading out onto the sights and sounds of faire for the winding backstage area that surrounded the large production, and back to what was fondly known as Joust Camp.  
  
The instant Harry caught sight of someone, he was off running. The first person he bowled over was his grandmother, who scooped him up into her arms and rained kisses down on him.  
  
“Where Poppy?!” he asked excitedly, squirming to get out of her arms.  
  
“I’m right here, Harry,” came her father’s voice as he stepped down off the trailer her parents stayed in when they were on site.  
  
“Poppy!” he squealed, running to the graying-blond, long-haired man with rimless glasses.  
  
Benny chuckled as her father grabbed his grandson and hugged him close. When she had first told her father she was pregnant, he had been beside himself. Not because he was angry she had gotten pregnant, but because he couldn’t level the fact with himself that he was going to be a grandfather at fifty. In their line of work—as the renaissance faire circuit’s version of rock stars—he’d never needed to grow up. It was a symptom of their line of work, exacerbated by being a consummate actor. As a matter of fact, her mother was the one who always ended up running the show, even if her father was a third owner of the company.  
  
Asking to accept the fact that his child was pregnant with her own child was a lesson in his own mortality and the reality of the real world, outside of this circus in which her father and mother had raised her. There were a few months before Harrison was born where her father had acted up, well, as much as her mother would let him. Benny had been so worried Harrison wouldn’t get to meet the great man—despite his juvenile tendencies—who had raised her.  
  
However, as soon as Harrison opened his eyes and looked up at his grandfather, Benny had seen the change in him. Sure, her father was never going to grow up in many ways, but he suddenly became a grandpa who doted over his grandson. He still suffered from a certain lack of maturity, but that was her father and nothing was ever going to change it. When Harrison was around, though, he was a different man. He made sure to be that paragon of chivalry and valor he tried to be when he was the Baron of Blackburn.  
  
Her mother joined her side and looked on with her. “Glad you could make it.”  
  
“I thought I was being punished with death if I didn’t come out,” Benny said.  
  
“Well, not really,” her mother laughed. “But I would have been very sad.”  
  
Benny laughed and shook her head. “Where is everyone?”  
  
“They’re out saddling,” her father said as he walked over to her. He leaned in and gave her a short kiss. “Why aren’t you in your garb?”  
  
“I didn’t feel like wearing it,” she said.  
  
“Joie’s wearing hers,” her mother pointed out.  
  
Benny turned to find that her friend had run off to chat with Lee. While Joie may have been very much in love with her fiancé, no one could deny the charm—or incredibly chiseled good looks—of the company’s black and white knight.  
  
“The fact that it’s a period-inauthentic pink belly dance costume doesn’t mean anything?” Benny asked sarcastically.  
  
He frowned. “We wanted you to ride today.”  
  
“Daddy, if you wanted me to come out so bad this weekend for that reason, why didn’t you just tell me?” she asked. “Where’s Joel, anyway? Isn’t he your master of arms?”  
  
He shrugged.  
  
Benny closed her eyes and sighed heavily. “Fine. Whatever. Why can’t Mom do it?”  
  
“I’ve got some mending I have to do before the last joust,” she said. “Holes in final joust caparisons.”  
  
“Ah,” Benny said.  
  
Her mom smiled at her. “What your father is really trying to say but can’t because he’s emotionally closed off is that he misses you and wishes you’d come back and do the show circuit with us.”  
  
“I am not,” her father protested. It was unconvincing.  
  
“Stephan, be honest with yourself,” her mother said.  
  
Benny sighed and shook her head. As fucked up as her relationship with her father could be at times, there was no denying that she was daddy’s little girl. “I don’t have my garb.”  
  
“That’s okay,” her mother said. “You left your blue riding dress in our trailer the last time you were on the circuit with us. I’ve just never given it back.”  
  
“So that’s what happened to it,” Benny said. “I wanted to take it out so I can start wearing it again.”  
  
Her mother pursed her lips. “You don’t have to take it out. It’ll still fit you just fine.”  
  
“That was before Harrison, Mom,” she said.  
  
“The bodice is adjustable,” her mother replied. “You’ll be fine.”  
  
Benny looked between her parents, realizing she wasn’t going to win this argument. Not by a long shot. So she threw up her hands in defeat. After all, what would it hurt to indulge them for one day doing what she loved to do the most—play dress up and ride a pretty horse?  
  
\---  
  
Alexander settled into the aluminum bleachers surrounding the dirt field, glad to have a little bit of shade provided by canvas overhangs from the unrelenting California sun. Makeup would kill him if he showed up with a sunburn Tuesday.  
  
All in all, despite his earlier reservations about this “faire,” he’s ended up genuinely enjoying himself. Even after he realized he’d never be able to find Benny in this sea of people. He’d only taken a handful of photos and signed some autographs—on cleavage, no less—with fans. The entertainment of the faire had been fun, especially a few of the more adult musical acts. All the beer had been cold, and the food satisfying. When someone from their cast had alerted the Powers That Be to his presence, they’d been given special attention.  
  
Now he sat just to the left of the raised dais where the lady dressed as Queen Elizabeth, quite convincingly, too, stood with her court, preparing for the joust. Alexander hadn’t really paid attention to his friends when they’d mentioned it earlier, but now that he sat here waiting for the show to begin, he realized that it was actually going to be a real joust with long pointy sticks and everything. The little boy in him was exceptionally excited to see these knights, and the older more sadistic part of him couldn’t wait for the fighting and blood.   
  
He wouldn’t admit it to anyone’s face, but the anticipation was killing him.  
  
Two women stopped beside him, standing and looking out on the field. One woman was middle aged and wearing what he would guess was peasant clothes. The other was quite a bit younger and showed her attractive, toned body off with a fuchsia belly dance costume. They didn’t make a move as though they were going to look for a place to sit. As a matter of fact, they looked somewhat bored.  
  
Alexander just didn’t understand that. How could they be bored in a place like this?   
  
That was when he noticed the small toddler standing between them. The younger woman picked him up, and rested him on her hip. But he wasn’t happy with that. He couldn’t see over the people in front of him and began fussing.  
  
Alexander chuckled and reached a hand out and touched the woman’s shoulder. She turned to look up at him, her eyes growing wide with recognition.  
  
“Yes?” she asked.  
  
“I have room up here, if he’d like to see,” Alexander said.  
  
He found it interesting that the woman looked torn between letting him have the baby and not. Most people who recognized him would give them a kidney if they did and liked him. The second woman turned, too, and her eyes grew wide.  
  
“Up!” the little boy shouted, holding his arms out to Alexander.  
  
The woman looked back at the boy and then up at him one more time before shaking her head and lifting him up. Alexander reached over the railing for the child, lifting him easily. He noticed the two women appraising him carefully as he set the boy down on the bench beside him.  
  
“What’s your name?” Alexander asked the boy.  
  
“Harry,” he said, shifting back and forth on his legs. Standing on the bench gave him the ability to see the field a little better.  
  
“Harry?” he asked. “It’s nice to meet you, Harry. I’m Alex. Can you say that?”  
  
“Awex,” Harry said.  
  
“Good enough,” he laughed. “What’s your mommy’s name?” Alex looked at the woman in fuchsia.  
  
Henry looked at him, and with all the conviction of a toddler, said, “Mommy.”  
  
Alex laughed again. He liked this kid.  
  
The belly dancer rolled her eyes. “I’m not Mommy. I’m Auntie. Auntie Joie.”  
  
“Nice to meet you,” Alex said, extending his hand out to the pretty woman, but was interrupted by the trumpet of horns. He turned to the field, seeing a long rider on top of a beautiful white and gray horse come out of the chute. He joined in with cheering for the rider, finding that it was a woman and not a man as he has expected.  
  
It took him only a second longer to realize just who that woman was wearing a period riding dress in dark blue with golden stars. Benny. For some inexplicable reason, he felt his pulse quicken at the sight of her in this getup, from the tall riding boots, to her fitted leggings and breasts barely contained within the low-cut bodice of her clothes. He’d thought Benny pretty before, but nothing could compare to her now, riding with her loose, curly black hair blowing in the breeze behind her, her cheeks pink from the warm sun. Stunning was the only word to describe her. There was only one other time she had ever looked so beautiful to him, and that was while she sat atop him earlier in the week.  
  
Benny stopped in front of the dais, bowing her head and extending the hand with the riding crop. Okay, now that was hot.  
  
“Your Majesty,” she said.  
  
“Lady Bernadette,” said the queen, “Please introduce these fools that would wish death on this most joyous of festival days.”  
  
Benny nodded her head again and turned her horse to begin a center around the arena. “Ladies and gentleman, a joust to the death is a terrible thing. Please be forewarned that if you are faint of heart or with a small child, there will be blood shed upon this field this day.”  
  
There were cheers for the blood. He tried to pay attention to what to what Benny said, but Alexander couldn’t get over how quiet, skittish little Benny could command so much attention. And he certainly had never pegged her for an actress—or a good one at that. She was a goddess to behold now.  
  
She stopped in front of his section to introduce their knight, and she looked out on the crowd gathered. It was as she was nearing the end of her introduction for his knight that her eyes met his. Benny tensed visibly, causing her horse to respond to a miscue, but she reined the animal back in expertly after walking him around in a small circle. She focused back on him, squinting her eyes as she finished her last line. His knight came out, and she should have been paying attention to her lines, but she still stared.  
  
Alexander couldn’t keep the smile from his face as she wrenched herself away from looking to finish her duties.  
  
All the while he’d been looking and nearly drooling over Benny, he hadn’t noticed the small boy standing beside him and bouncing about happily, muttering something about his mommy.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
Never in her life did Benny expect Alex to show up to the festival. So when she saw him sitting there in the bleachers, a bright smile on his lips and a twinkle in his eyes, she had broken character. But she was very proud of herself for keeping it together enough to continue the show without bringing it to a screeching halt.   
  
However, when she realized who he sat beside, all concentration on maintaining her character evaporated in an instant. She’d not intended for Alexander to even find out about Harrison until she was good and sure that this romance… friendship… affair… whatever the hell it was, was going to go somewhere. If it did go somewhere and Benny actually wanted to let her heart go again, then and _only_ then had she planned to let Alex in on her little secret. If he didn’t leave her on the spot, then they could meet.   
  
However, since Benny _knew_ nothing would happen with Alex besides being part of his passing fancy, she’d never intended for the two to meet.   
  
Now it seemed she wouldn’t have the chance to keep them apart. Her mother and friend had taken care of that quite sufficiently by allowing Harrison to sit with Alex. And Benny couldn’t help but think, as well, that if anything real had a chance of developing between her and Alex, there was no chance now. Not now that he knew about Harrison.   
  
How many men had run at first mention of a child?   
  
Yet, she’d looked over at them during the joust, while she waited for the final hand-to-hand combat to conclude, and found Alex laughing and cheering with Harrison.   
  
Surely Harrison had told him their knight was his “Poppy” and that Lady Bernadette was “Mommy”. Harrison may not have known many words yet, but he knew his mommy. She’d heard him scream it at the top of his bloody lungs, after all, when he didn’t like something that happened to him.   
  
The joust ended with the good knight once again triumphing over the evil one, and Benny took in a deep breath, steeling herself for the next little while. The stands cleared quickly except for the few stragglers who hung around to meet the knights and horses and get pictures. She watched Alex carry her son down the bleachers before putting him on the ground when Harrison began thrashing about to be let down.   
  
Harrison ran straight under the green fence surrounding the sandy tilt yard and stopped in front of her. He held his arms up and commanded, “Up!”   
  
Benny shook her head, but picked him up anyway. When she noticed her mother and friend close in on Alex, she decided best to nip this assuredly embarrassing meeting in the bud. The last thing her mother needed to find out today was that she was not the first person to know about them. She just hoped Alex didn’t say anything incriminating before she had a chance to let everyone know herself.   
  
Benny stopped beside the fence line, waiting for Alex to sign an autograph and pose for a picture for two waiting women. Her mother and Joie joined her, and Joie gave her a devilish look.   
  
Her mother didn’t wait to start in on her haranguing.   
  
“You didn’t tell me he was going to be here! I can’t believe you didn’t!” she paused. “He’s so much more handsome in person. How can you resist working with that and not jumping him? With _all_ that?!”   
  
They turned to look at him, appraising. Alexander glanced up from his conversation and noticed their gazes. His grin widened. Benny turned back to the two women.   
  
“I would be too distracted to do anything,” her mother said. “Hell, I can barely work with all the handsome men I do! But that, Benny, is prime.”   
  
“Mom,” Benny said, feeling her blush growing and knowing Alexander had to be hearing this. Her mother wasn’t necessarily being quiet about it.   
  
And Joie didn’t help. “Yeah, Benny. How can you resist not spider-monkeying right onto that?”   
  
She said it so loud that a deafening silence except for the background noises out in the faire filled her ears. The sound of the pulse in her ears was almost too loud. But then there was a short chuckle, followed by the crunch of shoes on the gravelly path. Benny looked up when a pair of sneakers came into her view of the ground.   
  
“Hi,” Benny said, sounding as stupid as she felt. Why did the mere existence of his presence affect her so?   
  
“Hey,” he said with a bright smile.   
  
She felt even more like a social retard when they stood in silence for a few long moments and Alex had to introduce himself to her mother.   
  
“I’m Alexander,” he said, offering his hand first to her mother.   
  
“I know,” her mother replied with a chuckle. “I’m Trish, Benny’s mom.”   
  
Alex’s smile widened even more. If meeting Harrison hadn’t killed that rather minute chance of something developing between them, though, meeting her family this soon would. She had a feeling the killing wouldn’t even be metaphorical. Her family members did have a very certain predilection toward and skill using sharp, pointy objects.   
  
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Trish,” he said.   
  
“And I’m Joie, once again.” She seized his hand for her own. Benny closed her eyes and prayed no one embarrassed her. Unfortunately, no one had ever listened to her prayers were her family was concerned—they were _all_ still insane.   
  
Harrison started wiggling around in her arms again and shouted, “Up!” at Alex. Alex reached out to take him as though it were second nature, but Benny shied away.   
  
“Mom, would you take Harry back?” she asked, hoping her mother could detect the pleading in her voice without it being apparent to Alex.   
  
By some grace, her mother understood and grabbed Harrison, saying, “How ‘bout you and I go help Uncle Jack with the horses?”   
  
“Horsies!” he squealed gleefully.   
  
Benny looked at Joie then, expectantly. Her ever-meddling friend, however, didn’t budge and merely grinned. Evilly. “I can’t wait to see you in pink Lyrca, Alex.”   
  
“Huh?” he asked.   
  
“I’m Benny’s second for Vegas,” Joie said. She cackled. “Wait until you see what Benny’s wearing.”   
  
“What am I going to be wearing?” Benny asked.   
  
Joie shrugged her shoulders. “You’ll just have to wait and find out.”   
  
With that, she grinned again and left them to their own awkward silence. Benny sighed after a few moments of watching her friend walk away, trying to think of a way to end the quiet. She cleared her throat. “So… you found me out.”   
  
He nodded. “I wouldn’t have pegged you for an actor.”   
  
“I’m not an actor,” she said. “I ride horses and _occasionally_ recite memorized lines.”   
  
“You’re an actor,” he laughed. “But you’re a beautiful actor, if it’s any consolation.”   
  
She felt her cheeks grow warm.   
  
“Harry is very proud of his mom, too,” he remarked.   
  
Benny smiled. “Do you really think so? I think he’s too young to understand anything beyond the fact that I’m riding a pretty horsey.”   
  
“Oh, he knows,” Alex replied.   
  
“So, uh…” she paused for a moment and looked up to meet his eyes. They were utterly captivating.   
  
“So, uh, what?” he asked.   
  
“About Harry…” she replied.   
  
“What about him?” Alex smiled.   
  
Benny shrugged. “Well, most men don’t like that I have a son.”   
  
“Benny, I’m not most men,” he said. “I love children. I practically helped my mother and father raise my younger siblings.   
  
Benny turned at the sound of clanking and crunching of dirt beneath boots to find her father making his way over to them. He glanced at her and then at Alex, smiling. But she knew that look well. Benny waited for her father to commence the male posturing he did every time he met a new guy she might have any romantic attachment.   
  
In hindsight, she thought perhaps that it may have been better to actually listen to him about the character of her boyfriends after the male posturing. It would have saved her a lot of heartache.   
  
Her father slipped his arm around her waist and leaned over, kissing her cheek, muttering, “Good show, baby.”   
  
“Thanks, Dad,” she said. “Alex, this is my dad, Steve. Dad, this is Alexander Skarsgård, my…”   
  
What was he? Friend? Lover? Coworker? Fuckbuddy? Acquaintance? Boyfriend?   
  
“… my friend,” she said.   
  
Alex didn’t miss a beat and shook her father’s hand. After exchanging a few more pleasantries about the joust show, and then her father quizzing him about True Blood, her father stepped back. It had been surprisingly painless, this meeting. No threatening had occurred.   
  
“Bring him backstage, Benny,” he said. “I need to go get out of this armor and hose off.”   
  
And once again, she spoke too soon.   
  
Benny turned to Alex. “Don’t feel obligated… are you here with anyone or are you by yourself?”   
  
“With friends,” he said, motioning to two men she had not noticed before standing by the entrance to the tilt yard. One wore jeans and shirt, the other a kilt. They both looked her over speculatively. “But they can go do whatever they want to.”   
  
She smiled. “Okay.”   
  
“Go on without me,” he called to them. “Call me on my cell if you need me.”   
  
They nodded and left the tilt yard, discussing something with each other. Benny sighed, and motioned him to follow her. She pointed to the fence line. “Go through there. I’ll meet you back there.”   
  
She paused as she stepped backstage and took a few long breaths. Self consciously, she repositioned the bodice that had risen uncomfortably while she rode and adjusted herself. But then she stopped. What the hell was she doing anyway? Adjusting her cleavage for him? She refused to look any better than she had to. If he didn’t like her as she came, then he wasn’t worth it.   
  
As though reading her mind, Lee came from nowhere and reached over to her bodice, and readjusted her breasts by pushing them back down once more.   
  
Benny huffed. “Excuse me?! Did I give you permission to touch me?”   
  
Lee met her eyes and gave her a perturbed grunt. “I’m saving you, little sister.”   
  
“I’m not your sister,” she replied. “And get away from me.” She pushed him back.   
  
Someone cleared their throat, but she knew who it was. Benny looked up at Alex.   
  
“Who are you?” Lee asked.   
  
“Uh…” Alex said, taken aback by Lee’s gruffness.   
  
Truth be told, Benny was a little taken aback herself. She and Lee had grown up together and were very good friends, but she had never seen him act this protective before.   
  
“Alex, this is Lee, my annoying friend,” she said. “And you know very well who he is. You’ve been bugging me for details on the new season because you’re so addicted.”   
  
Lee colored slightly at that, but didn’t change his stance.   
  
“Go away, Lee,” she said.   
  
Lee didn’t move.   
  
Benny pushed Lee. “Don’t you have front gate to do?”   
  
With a huff, Lee left them, but her father quickly replaced him. He wore a t-shirt over his Underarmor leggings and tall boots, and wholly less threatening than he did when he was covered in armor. His hair dripped with water from the hose.   
  
“Benny!”   
  
Benny glanced around, looking for the voice that had called for her. She saw her mother waving for her to join her and Joie at the trailer. She glanced between Alex and her father, knowing it wasn’t wise to leave them alone, but it appeared she had no other choice. The fact that her mother and father had probably orchestrated this didn’t escape her thoughts either.   
  
Leaving them after shooting a look of sympathy at Alex, she walked over to help her mother with whatever she needed.   
  
\----   
  
Alexander watched Benny go, more perplexed and more attracted to her than ever. Perplexed because he didn’t understand why she remained so standoffish toward him, and attracted because she personified perfection. At least to him. However, were he being honest with himself, he knew why she remained guarded around him. No intelligent person would get involved with someone like him. And even if she did get involved with him, she probably found it very uncomfortable with the fact that he was now being introduced to her family and friends without so much as a decent discussion about where they would go.   
  
But he also had to wonder why he wasn’t running the other direction. Benny was right. Most men would be running in the other direction. For any other woman, he probably would have been one of them. Instead, he found that Benny having a child made him see just another facet into her life, and it let him know her a little bit better. Certainly he had only spent twenty minutes with Harry, but that little bit was enough for him to know that Harry was incredibly loved by his mother and family.   
  
Even if it did make him more curious than ever about Benny’s past.   
  
What he thought most interesting, upon really thinking about it, was that somewhere recently he had stopped looking for a woman who could satisfy only him. Somewhere he had started to look for a woman who could not only be his, but could also be the mother of his hypothetical children. It had stopped being about only him a long time ago. He had started looking for that superwoman who could wear all those hats.   
  
The realization of this fact was staggering to him. Maybe he was ready to settle down. Now it wasn’t just a line he fed to the people interviewing him. Had he found a potential candidate in Benny?   
  
The unswerving, inexplicable attraction for her told him she may be more than potential.   
  
It worried him that he’d never seen this coming. This certainly wasn’t the time to have this sort of thing. Not with his popularity in America blooming. But then again, maybe it was the right time—he wouldn’t have the media to contend with like his more famous counterparts. Maybe he could have a relatively normal romance before he really took off.   
  
_If_ he did take off.   
  
But then he understood why her father and friends were being so critical of him. Who was to say that with his fame increasing as it was here in America, that he wouldn’t choose it over her? It would be doubly bad if something like that happened, especially with a child involved. So he fully understood why they were worried, even if he knew he would not.   
  
Her father didn’t beat around the bush, either.   
  
“Are you two really just friends?” he asked.   
  
“Ah, er,” Alexander paused, searching for the right words. “I guess I should put it this way: I want it to be more. She seems like she wants to see where it goes, too, but in the same breath doesn’t.”   
  
Steve nodded his head, as though understanding, but didn’t enumerate. Rather he reverted to threatening. “You hurt her, and I’ll kill you.”   
  
He wanted to ask if he had killed the last one who had obviously done a number on Benny, too. However, he knew it was too flippant. He withheld his retort and merely nodded.   
  
“Noted, Mr. Cowan,” he said.   
  
“It’s Steve,” he said. “Hey Jack!”   
  
A boy of medium height, lanky build and pimply face poked his head up from where he was hosing a horse down. Alexander recognized him as one of the squires. Jack handed the hose to another squire and sauntered over to them.   
  
“What’s up, Dad?” he asked, eying Alex warily.   
  
“This is Alex, and he’s taking your sister out,” Steve announced and left them alone.   
  
Alexander looked back at the child, seeing the familial resemblance. As a matter of fact, Jack looked so much like his sister, though, that had he boobs and black wig, he would be his sister.   
  
“You better be sure about this,” Jack said. “We do not suffer idiots well after the last time.”   
  
Alexander nodded.   
  
“And if I hear you’ve done anything at all to my nephew, me and his other uncles will do something about it,” he threatened.   
  
“How many brothers do you have?” Alexander asked, hoping she came from a large family. It was always a little bit simpler if his partners came from the same type of background, because there were a lot of things that went on in a large family that were difficult to explain to outsiders.   
“Only me,” he said. And then motioned to the other men milling about. Benny was laughed at something one particularly sun-baked man had said to her. “But we’re all like family.”   
  
Alexander considered the men he saw, and for the first time ever, really felt a bit frightened about the family of a potential partner.   
  
Benny finally started back over to them, and Jack walked away. Sister watched brother quizzically and shook her head. She stopped in front of him and smiled. “I’m sorry, Alex. They mean well.”   
  
Alexander laughed. “No, I totally get it. I imagine I’d do the same thing were I to meet Eija’s possibly-maybe friend-slash-boyfriend.”   
  
“How old is she?” she asked.   
  
“Seventeen,” he said.   
  
Benny snickered. “Can we hook her up with Jack? Lord knows he needs the help.”   
  
“My sister does not pity date,” he replied. “Besides, my dad would have something to say about that.”   
  
“Fair enough,” Benny said. She let out a long sigh. “So, Alex, where are you taking me tonight?”   
  
“Well, I found a place in Orange we could go to,” he said. “Don Ruben’s?”   
  
She grinned. “Mmm. Mexican food. My favorite.”   
  
He couldn’t be happier that he had chosen so wisely. “Great.”   
  
“You aren’t driving all the way back to the Hills, are you?” she asked.   
  
Alexander shrugged. “I have to pick up my car. My friend drove.”   
  
“If you don’t mind a chick driving, her loud but lovable friend, and her kid in the same car, you can just go home with me,” she said. “And then I’ll drop them off and we can go out.”   
  
“Of course I don’t mind,” he replied. “But then you’d have to drive me all the way back to the Hills tonight.”   
  
Benny blushed deeply. “Well, I have to work tomorrow, so…”   
  
Alexander quickly connected the dots and saw the picture they made. He had to wonder what the hell her mother and friend had said to her while she’d been away. She seemed to have come back to him ready and more enthusiastic about her date with him than before. But he wasn’t about to start complaining if she really suggested what he hoped she did. He had learned not to look a gift horse in the mouth.   
  
Ever.   
  
“I’ll drop you off in the morning,” she said.   
  
“Sure,” he replied. “Really, you should twist my arm, just to make it look like it took some convincing.”   
  
Benny rolled her eyes and stepped closer to him. She placed a hand on his chest and let it slip down slightly to his abdomen. The movement sent a pleasant electricity through his body and straight to his groin. She grinned at him. “I doubt your arm is where you want my hands right now.”   
  
She was going to kill him. At least it would be a fun death.   
  
“I’m going to go grab a quick shower in my parent’s trailer, and I’ll meet you at the front gate in a half hour,” she said.   
  
He hardened further at the thought of her naked with water running down her body. He had no idea how he would make it until later tonight, and that was if their date went well and he didn’t have to sleep on the couch.   
  
Alexander swallowed his need to grab her close and maul her face. “I should probably go catch up with my friends. I’ll meet you at the gate.”   
  
“Okay,” she said.   
  
He took a step back and started to turn, but stopped his movements and looked back at her.   
  
“What?” she asked.   
  
Alexander leaned down and kissed her thoroughly. Two could play at this game. He leaned over and whispered into her ear. “You still owe me for the nail marks.”  
  
She noticeably shivered at his remark.  
  
Benny laughed and pushed him away. “Do your worst, Swede.”   
  
“I plan on it,” he said. “Later.”


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
  
“So Alex,” Joie started, looking for anything she could find to break the silence. They’d gone nearly twenty minutes and no one dared talk except for Harrison who babbled happily to his stuffed horse. Joie was convinced Alex wanted to talk, but didn’t out of respect for Benny’s nerves. Benny looked petrified. Not that she could blame Benny; she had every right to be such after how her last relationship had ended. Yet, the old Benny would have gotten over the nerves very quickly. This wasn’t the Benny she’d grown up with.  
  
“Yeah?” he asked.  
  
Joie looked back in the rearview mirror to see him smiling. He’d been so chivalrous, too, demanding she sit up front with Benny while he crammed all six-foot-four of himself into the tiny back seat beside Harry’s car seat.  
  
“Got any big projects coming up?” she asked.  
  
“Well, Straw Dogs,” he said. “I start shooting that in August. And then there’s one in between all that in Sweden called _Puss_.”  
  
“Puss?” she asked.  
  
Alex chuckled. “It means ‘kiss’ in Swedish.”  
  
“Hot,” Joie said, glancing at Benny again. Her friend tried desperately not to seem utterly engrossed with the conversation. She failed.   
  
Miserably.  
  
Again, another lull passed between them in the conversation, no one really saying much until Benny pulled the car into the driveway at the house. Benny didn’t even have to retrieve Harry from the back seat as Alex made short work of undoing the complicated crisscrossing of seat belts.  
  
“I’m going to go blow dry my hair the rest of the way,” Benny announced, and then turned to Joie. “Keep Alex entertained, Joie.”  
  
“Aye Aye, Cap’n,” Joe replied with a salute as they all stepped into the house. Benny moved quickly back toward her bedroom and shut the door. Joie couldn’t help the smile that crossed her lips.   
  
She knew Benny would bring that long, tall drink of Scandinavian water home after dinner because she had told Benny to do so. Lord knew her friend needed to let loose. What had surprised Joie was Benny’s mother agreeing. The only problem was that Benny’s room could be classified a hazardous waste zone as her sewing room had spilled out into the bedroom. This did not include her own personal propensity for throwing everything around looking for something to wear every morning.   
  
She may have decided to also blow dry her hair, but Joie knew Benny was cleaning as well.  
  
Joie smiled at Alex. “Have a seat, walk around, whatever. I need to fix dinner for the kidlet.”  
  
“Okay,” he said.  
  
“Can I get you anything to drink?” she asked.  
  
“I’m good,” he replied as he looked over a wall full of pictures. Joie shook her head and went back to the kitchen. After a few moments, she heard baby talking and then Alexander responding to it. She grinned to herself and walked toward the front room where she had left Alex, stopping just outside the entry to the room.  
  
Alex sat on the ground with his legs crossed, Harrison across from him in the exact same position, and in between them sat Harry’s favorite toys: a plastic Fisher Price farm set. His grandfather had gotten it for him a few weeks ago and Harry hadn’t put it away since. Joie had nearly killed herself stepping on and breaking a plastic chicken the other day. But Harry loved the set about as much as he loved his Poppy, especially the horse that looked like his Poppy’s horse.  
  
For him to let Alex play with the tiny animals said something, and Joie smiled. Benny had better not muck this up. She had a good feeling about this one.  
  
The hairs on the back of her neck stood up and Joie turned to find Benny in the hallway beside her. Joie sighed. “Doesn’t it just make your ovaries hurt?”  
  
“All the fucking time,” Benny said. “Are you sure you’re okay with him coming home afterward?”  
  
Joie shrugged. “Benny, I’ve brought Josh home how many times? It’s cool. Just make sure to lock your door so the munchkin doesn’t get in there in the morning. He’ll need enough counseling when he grows up anyway, don’t scar him with that.”  
  
“Yeah, thanks, Joie.” Benny rolled her eyes.  
  
Joie looked back at her friend and chuckled. For the first time since Benny had joined her, Joie took a good look over her friend. Benny had dried her hair, and even sort of styled it like it was meant. She had also changed her clothes into a slightly tighter pair of faded jeans, a shirt with a low v-neck and lacy lingerie.  
  
The only reason Joie could tell the last bit was that the only push up Benny owned was a black lacy thing she had picked up at Victoria’s Secret on a whim that went nowhere. And tonight, her friend’s breasts were proudly displayed in the neck of her shirt without the aid of a Renaissance-style bodice.  
  
“Are you wearing makeup?” Joie asked.  
  
“Shut up,” Benny said, pursing her lips together.  
  
Joie grinned. That alone told Joie that Benny actually cared about how this whole thing went down, even if Benny continued to say she could care less about Alex. Benny only ever went to the trouble of doing her makeup when it mattered: job interviews, places where pictures were going to be taken, and on important dates.   
  
Benny hadn’t worn makeup since JC. She hadn’t cared about herself since JC.  
  
“I thought he had to accept you as you came,” Joie said.  
  
“He already did,” Benny muttered.  
  
Joie watched Benny step away from her and into the room. Now Joie was confused. But she knew she and Benny would have a four hour car ride to Las Vegas this weekend. Then Benny would have no choice but to talk.  
  
“Ready to go?” Benny asked.  
  
Alex looked up from playing and grinned at Benny. Joie shook her head and chuckled at how Alex’s eyes seemed to glaze over. Well, if that did it for him, she couldn’t wait to dress Benny up in the costume she had found. Benny would probably hate her, but Alex would love her.  
  
Alex stood up and smoothed out his shirt and ran a hand through his hair. Oh yeah, if either of them had even contemplated not having a relationship, they were out of luck.  
  
Joie giggled. “Harry, come on. Let’s go have some dinner.”  
  
“K,” he said, getting up and running over to her. Benny stopped him, grabbed him up and kissed him goodbye.  
  
“Be good for Aunt Joie,” she said.  
  
Harry gave her a look that said his mother was overprotective and needed to chill, and wiggled to get down. Benny let him down and shook her head, motioning toward the front door with Alex in tow.  
  
But then Harry let out a cry. “Awex. Where go?”  
  
Alex grinned and squatted down to Harry’s level. “I’m going to take your mommy out for a little while.”  
  
Harry looked unconvinced that his mommy should be going out with Alex, if he even understood what Alex had said. Joie liked that fact that Alex talked to the kid like a normal person. She had met far too many people recently who always tried to baby talk with Harry. Though Harry only knew a handful of words well, and the others were garbled at best, Joie considered her nephew extremely intelligent. He understood what happened around him.  
  
Harry didn’t complain any longer, though, and both Benny and Alex moved toward the door again. However, Harry stopped them again with another cry.  
  
“What is it, baby?” Benny asked.  
  
“Awex!” Harry said. He held up the plastic pony he loved dearly.  
  
Alexander reached his hand out and Harry dropped it there. Joie noticed something pass across Alex’s face, but she didn’t know what it was exactly. Something, though, in the air changed. He may not have admitted it, but Joie could tell Alex had been a little reticent about getting into a relationship that would involve a child so soon. At this moment, though, the reticence seemed to just melt away. Alex relaxed his shoulders, smiled brightly and held the pony back out to Harry.  
  
“Harry, I can’t take this,” he said. “You play with it better than me.”  
  
Harry brooked no argument and babbled something, placing the horse back in Alex’s hand.  
  
Benny, who had been suspiciously silent through this whole exchange, spoke then. “He wants you to have it.”  
  
Alex chuckled. And if Joie wasn’t mistaken, his eyes were misty with emotion. He took the small horse and dropped it into his jeans pocket.  
  
Harry seemed pleased with this, let out a happy squeal and ran back to Joie. “Noodles.”  
  
Joie laughed. “Okay, noodles it is.” She looked between Benny and Alex. “You two have fun. And don’t rush home.”  
  
\-----  
  
Benny sat looking at her menu a half hour later, waiting for the waitress to bring out their pitcher of frozen margaritas. Normally she wouldn’t drink on a “school night”, but this occasion called for a few stiff drinks. She needed it to calm her nerves.  
  
She set her menu down and looked over at Alex. His blue eyes strayed from the page he was looking at and met hers. He grinned before closing his menu as well.  
  
“What are you getting?” he asked conversationally.  
  
“Spinach enchiladas,” she replied. “They have the best.”  
  
“Not a big spinach fan,” he replied. “I’m getting a burrito with red sauce.”  
  
Benny giggled. “You’re living dangerously on a first date by getting beans.”  
  
His grin turned lopsided as he chuckled. “This isn’t our first date. Besides, I think we’re past the being embarrassed over uncontrollable bodily functions.”  
  
“Some maybe,” she said. “Not all.”  
  
Alex nodded his head and opened his mouth to say something when the waitress toddled over to them with the large pitcher and two salt-rimmed glasses. The waitress took their order before leaving the table.  
  
Benny took a long sip of her margarita, reveling in the sweetly sour lemon lime concoction backed with tequila. Alex did the same, and soon they were staring at each other again. Benny couldn’t help feeling like a junior high kid all over again, looking at her date and being petrified of a conversation with him. The only thing that was missing from the equation happened to be braces, pimples and bad hair.  
  
She was woefully out of practice and had nearly forgotten what it was like to date. But then, having Alex as her date would have made her nervous anyway, even if she were the most practiced woman in the world. Who wouldn’t be nervous at first around a man who could quite possibly qualify as perfection of the gender? He had a center just soft enough wrapped up in an alluring rakishness—that she so often found herself drooling over—that probably would make him any romance writer’s dream hero. He made no excuses for being a man, and yet had enough intelligence and compassion to temper the arrogance.  
  
He was, quite simply, perfect.  
  
Especially with Harrison.  
  
Despite her earlier attempts to disregard any more than friendly feelings for the man, the instant she had seen him with Harry, all her arguments went right out the window. And her stomach had also done a very weird flutter and flop.  
  
She hadn’t felt this way since JC.  
  
But then, look how _that_ ended.  
  
One thing became clearer to her every moment she spent with Alex. She would not have the choice as to where this relationship with Alex would go. Alex had made it damn clear through his words and actions that he wasn’t letting go so easily.  
  
Alex scratched at his stubbly chin and met her eyes again. “Harry is great.”  
  
“Thanks,” Benny said. He went straight for it. In a way, she was glad he had made the decision to jump straight into it instead of batting around the bush any longer. She sighed. “He’s one ray of sunshine out of a very dark cloud.”  
  
“Is his father in his life?” Alex asked.  
  
She shook her head. “Sometimes. I’ve gotten one child support check from him. It’s really just better we don’t have much contact with him.”  
  
“Abusive?”  
  
“No,” Benny said. “Actually quite docile. But he’s got one hell of a wandering eye.”  
  
“Then I can already tell he’s an idiot if he let it wander with you around,” he said.  
  
She felt her face grow warm, and she looked down at the table.  
  
“Even though my parents never got along, at least neither of them ever cheated on each other,” he said.  
  
“I’m glad I wasn’t married to him,” she said. “I thought it might lead there, but I got pregnant with Harrison and he looked at me, told me he didn’t want a kid and left.”  
  
A muscle in Alex’s jaw twitched as though he were biting his tongue from saying anything.  
  
“Where is he now?” he asked.  
  
“Probably in Georgia,” she said. “I haven’t heard from him in a few months, so it usually means he’s not in Los Angeles.”  
  
Alex nodded. “That’s good. Because if I met him, I don’t trust what I’d do to him.”  
  
Benny chuckled ruefully. “The whole knight and shining armor thing is sweet, Alex, but I don’t need it.”  
  
“It’s not because of you, necessarily,” he said. “I just hate that a man thinks he can do that to a woman. That’s not right.”  
  
“It’s California, Alex,” she replied. “We’re not really known for our morality.”  
  
Silence passed between them as they looked around the restaurant, and then back at each other. Alex cleared his throat. “What does he do that it enables him to divide his time between two places?”  
  
Benny sighed heavily. “An actor and musician. Not big… but he’s had a few bigger jobs recently.”  
  
“Ah,” he said. “I see.”  
  
She bit her lower lip and reached for her margarita. Taking a long drink, she met his eyes over the rim of the glass. “Do you?”  
  
“It certainly explains a lot,” he said. “And it lets me know I’ve got a long way to go.”  
  
Benny smiled at him. “I’m not sure what came over me the other day… at the fitting. I don’t. I’ve never done something like that before, Alex, and I certainly never intended to. But I found myself attracted to you. I thought you were gay for the longest time, but you kissing me, well, that told me differently.”  
  
“You thought I was gay?” he asked with a laugh.  
  
She shrugged, feeling flustered. “Have you seen how you dress? How you act? You were either European, or European and gay. I chose the latter. And like most of my judgment in the past, it was wrong.”  
  
“Are you glad it was wrong?” he asked.  
  
“I’m still conflicted about it,” she replied. “I mean, it’s been over two years since I’ve been in a relationship. JC hurt me pretty badly… I didn’t want to bring Harry into my dating a lot because he’s so young. I didn’t want him to have an endless parade of men in his life. It would confuse him and not be good for him. That was if any man could get past the fact that there was a young child in my life.”  
  
“Obviously,” he said.  
  
Benny sighed. “I’ll be honest and say that I really don’t want anything with an actor. I’ve grown up around them my whole life, and the majority of them are the same… and I have no way to know you’d not be any different. I mean, they’re all minor actors. You’re one of the leads on a huge HBO production, set to take off this season. You’re going to be surrounded by pretty women, all willing to give themselves up to you for much less work than what I’m asking of you.”  
  
“But I am unbelievably attracted to you. What little I do know about you, you’re beautiful inside and out,” she continued after a pause for breath. “I’ve really liked what little time we’ve spent together working. I think we could make something of it, if we really wanted. And you’re good with Harry. I honestly couldn’t ask for more.”  
  
Alex leaned forward suddenly, staying her lips with his. She kissed him back tentatively, and shifted back in her seat, looking at him.   
  
“Give me the chance to prove to you that I’m not like this JC character,” he said. “I don’t want meaningless any more. There was a time I wanted that, but I’m looking for something serious now. I need stability before this madness really takes off.”  
  
Benny felt her stomach flop and dance. Her heart fluttered. As much as she wanted to believe all of this, she still couldn’t help the voices in the back of her head saying that he was still an actor and all of this could be an act.  
  
Alex opened his mouth to say something else, but the waitress appeared at their table with their meals, interrupting the rest of their conversation. As Benny arranged her plate, she glanced over at Alex. She had become a realist since having Harrison, and she knew the reality of the world. She couldn’t help but feel hopeful for what the future would bring, but definitely wouldn’t let her hopes grow out of proportion.   
  
At least not until she had a ring on her finger.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
  
After hearing what he was certain was an extremely short recap of a very long, drawn out, complicated and painful story, Alexander had made a decision to prove to Benny that not all men, especially actors, were like her ex. Time would tell if it was a good decision or not, and he hoped above all hopes he wouldn’t do to her what JC had done.  
  
Benny was right, though. Getting involved with any actor was a ticking bomb waiting to go off for many reasons, especially with a better known actor. Not because all actors were like Harry’s father, but that was certainly a good example of one reason.   
  
Another very definite reason was that the very nature of an actor was to “lie”. That was how they made their money… by lying and acting as charismatic as possible, meeting many new and interesting people, and being seen at important places with important people.   
  
He had learned early on in his career that if he wanted to eat, he had to make money. And to make money, he almost had to whore himself out to the world. Obviously, it wasn’t as horrible as it sounded, but he did have to sell himself in articles, in photo shoots, at parties, and while being “seen” at a trendy spot. People needed to see him out regularly. The more the paparazzi saw him, the more likely it was that casting directors would know who he was when he showed up for auditions. Sometimes they might even call him themselves.  
  
It seemed at times that good acting was just icing on the cake.  
  
The tricky balance laid in maintaining a private life while doing these things. Side effects of being so public were fans, colleagues and other people thinking of the actor in question as nothing more than their plaything.   
  
In the future, if True Blood really took off for him, he would not have the luxury of blending in like before. Sure, he’d never really blended in as an attractive man who stood at six-foot-four, but he wasn’t famous. He didn’t have the homing beacon celebrity seemed to temporarily affix to someone. If all these predictions were true, he would have one after this. He’d almost end up back into the same position he’d found himself when he’d left Sweden to pursue acting more seriously stateside.  
  
Everyone would want a piece of him, and he knew from experience that sometimes in relationships when he was busy giving a piece of himself to everyone else, he very rarely had any left over to share with a romantic partner. He’d seen a few of his own relationships in the past end because he hadn’t anything left over to give to his girlfriend.  
  
Then there were the girlfriends who left him because people liked to connect him with every available female—and even some male—he spent time with outside of a shoot. If he so much as acted friendly to them, he seemed to be dating them. No matter how much HE knew he would never cheat on his girlfriends at the time, otherwise decent relationships had been consumed by his partner’s jealousy. They just couldn’t take the possibility that he might be lying to them. And really, who could blame them for that insecurity?  
  
So, while he had every intention in the world to not let things like this happen and no matter how much he knew he could never sleep around while he was in a reasonably committed relationship with someone, it would be extremely difficult. And Alexander had a rather weird sense that with the premiere of this new season, things were just going to get a little bit crazy.  
  
Would he have enough time to prove to Benny—and to himself—that he could do this before that happened? That _they_ could do this?   
  
He hoped so, because as dinner wore on, he noticed something that made him a little sick to his stomach… but in a good way.  
  
Alexander had noticed that Benny was amazing. He’d known it before. That’s why he had been so captivated by her. But now that he sat with her, laughed with her, talked seriously with her… if he didn’t know any better, he’d say he was already in love with her.  
  
But he knew that couldn’t be the case. No one fell in love practically at first sight.   
  
Did they?  
  
Whatever emotions she drudged up in him, though, made him want to be with her. Made him feel protective of her. Made him want to do right by her. Made him want to never let her out of his sight.  
  
As scary as it was to a man who had long since thought these feelings dead, he felt almost ready to go on this insane ride again. He was ready to settle down. Now it was just finding the woman who could deal with his epic mood swings and actor-ly personality. He knew if he found that woman, he would never let her go. She’d be invaluable to him.  
  
He found it a funny twist of fate that the one woman he wanted to be invaluable to him for that reason had already been burned by it.  
  
Well, they’d just have to learn to trust together.  
  
Benny shut the car off in the driveway of her tiny, typical stucco house with a pink tile roof that seemed so common in this part of the world. It seemed so Not Benny. He knew she had a funky, nonconformist side to her, and this house just seemed to be the opposite. But he couldn’t fault her for that. He’d lived in many places not because it fit with his aesthetic, but because it fit in his budget.  
  
She let out a sigh and turned to look at him.   
  
“I can sleep on the couch if you want,” he replied. “I mean, if you don’t want to do this…”  
  
Benny looked at him as though he had ten heads and laughed, her entire face lighting up. He so loved it when she laughed. It really was music to his ears.  
  
“We’ve already experienced an old lumpy couch, thank you very much,” she replied. “I’d like something a little more private this time.”  
  
He chuckled as she leaned over quickly and brushed her lips across his, taking the initiative for a change. Alexander liked it, especially with the taste of the peppermint she’d popped into her mouth on the way out of the restaurant still on her lips. He reached up and slipped a hand behind her head, twining his fingers at the hair on the nape of her neck. A soft moan escaped her lips as she relaxed into him.  
  
Until the sound of a car horn interrupted them.  
  
They started, hitting their foreheads against each other. Benny pulled away and looked around. She turned back to looked at him with an exasperated expression. “It was just my giant ass hitting the steering wheel.”  
  
Alexander rolled his eyes and reached behind her, grabbing her ass and using what little advantage he had to pull her over into the passenger seat on top of him. It was a good thing she was tiny. He leaned up and kissed her again. “Your ass is perfect, baby.”  
  
“I thought you were a boob man,” she said.  
  
“I’m a ‘I’ll-take-anything-I-can-get’ man,” he replied with a short laugh. “And lucky for me, I have everything my little heart could desire.”  
  
Benny giggled and wrapped her arms about his neck, brushing her lips across his. She then reached behind her and opened up the door, carefully maneuvering out of the vehicle. She stood and stretched.  
  
Alexander watched her for a moment in the silvery moonlight, thinking that no woman should really be allowed to be that beautiful.  
  
“Hand me the keys and my purse, Alex,” she said, pointing toward the key ring still in the ignition. He did so, unfolding himself from the car and stretching himself. Benny grinned up at him and slipped one of her small hands into his. “Come on.”  
  
Alexander didn’t need to be told twice and followed her up the walkway and into the quiet house. She closed the door behind him and locked it, tossing her keys and purse on a table haphazardly.  
  
“Let me show you around real quick,” she said. “Just so you know where everything is. As much as I don’t think Joie would mind you accidentally walking in on her while she was in the shower, I know Josh would.”  
  
“Josh?” he asked.  
  
“Her fiancé,” she said.  
  
“Ah,” he laughed.  
  
Benny smiled and pulled him back through the house, seeing the small kitchen and dining room as he went. They went by a closed room where the soft light of a television flooded out beneath the door, and stopped at the next door, which stood ajar. Benny had stopped, but he’d been paying too much attention to her body in front of him and ran into her. She let out a laugh, covering her mouth to try to keep it quiet.  
  
The television in the room they passed became louder.  
  
“Wait here,” Benny said, shaking her head and walking into the room with the door ajar. As his eyes adjusted to the low nightlight in the room, he made out the crib against one wall and twin bed against another, the floor scattered with toys. Benny peeked over the edge of the crib and reached in, arranging what she found inside.  
  
Alexander sighed, watching her do this and feeling his heart beat speed up slightly in his chest. In the past, when there had been any hint of a possible lover having a child already, he’d shied away from it. He knew he couldn’t handle it. It had been a mess he did not need to worry over.   
  
But something had changed for him. Now when he realized that he would basically end up Harrison’s father-like figure, he actually liked the idea of it even if it wasn’t set in stone at the moment. He was ready for the challenge.  
  
That both scared and elated him. It was an odd mix of emotions, that was for sure.  
  
Benny stepped away from the crib and walked back out, shutting the door almost all the way. She flicked the light on in the room across the hall to reveal a very crammed, very cluttered space. It looked like the wardrobe portables at the studio had all been shoved into a tiny closet. Two dress forms stood in a corner, one with the pink get up he had asked her to make for the Las Vegas trip. Another had a corset and underskirts.  
  
Alexander realized suddenly that he’d have to wear that skintight pink thing… in front of many of his friends and castmates.  
  
And he didn’t know if he could do it. Seeing it actually materialized made it all that more tangible.  
  
She giggled, obviously noticing where he was looking. “You might want to wear a cup. There’s not going to be much left to the imagination.”  
  
He walked over to the form, running his fingers over the red embroidered Fangtasia on the top.  
  
“You’re rethinking that bet now, aren’t you,” she asked. “I still have time to make something else if you don’t like it.”  
  
“I love it,” he said. “It’s exactly how I pictured it in the book. I just can’t believe I actually _want_ to wear it in front of everyone.”  
  
Benny shrugged. “Phooey. I’m stuck wearing mine then.”  
  
He laughed and turned to look at the other dress form. “Is that what you’re wearing? What are you going as?”  
  
“ _Those_ are my underpinnings for my costume for the main party,” she said. “And I’m going as a Victorian Cinderella. For the after party, I have no idea. Joie is in charge of that.”  
  
“You put Joie in charge of your costume?” he asked, and paused. “Then I’ll trust you’re in good hands.”  
  
Benny rolled her eyes. “If she had it her way I’d show up in a g-string, some body paints and stripper heels.”  
  
“And that’s bad how?” he asked.  
  
When she gave him an affronted frown, he chuckled and walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her. He leaned down and kissed her deeply. “I’m sure whatever she puts you in will be tasteful and hot.”  
  
Benny rolled her eyes and pushed away from him. She left the room by flicking off the light. He followed her at last to her bedroom where he shut the door behind him. She smiled. “Lock the door, please. Harrison is crawling out of his crib now and will come in.”  
  
Alexander did as he was told and looked tentatively around the room, trying to decide his next course of action. He’d never actually had to “plan” sex before. Before, if it happened, it happened, wherever it happened. Now they had to have rules and doors locked and any manner of things.  
  
Surprisingly, Benny was the first to make a move by reaching down and grabbing the hem of her shirt and pulling it over her head. By the time her fingers were toying with the top button of her jeans, his desire at seeing her fully shot through his body and he walked toward her, staying her hand.  
  
She glanced up at him questioningly, and he shook his head, grabbing her up into his arms and depositing her on the bed. He settled himself to her side, looking down at her. Before, in the wardrobe work room, they had been fast and needy… and he’d not had an adequate amount of time to savor the experience. This time, though, he would not be a victim of his unsettling voraciousness when it came to Benny. He’d take his time and not shoot it off in two minutes like some inexperienced youth. Even if it killed him to do so.  
  
He kissed her mouth, running his tongue along the outline of her lips, slowly making a trail down her body as gooseflesh rose on her skin. He blew a warm breath over a semi-exposed nipple beneath the black laciness of her bra. She shivered beneath him and he glanced up at her for a moment, finding her eyes hooded with want and need.  
  
“Are you cold?” he asked.  
  
She laughed throatily. “Far from it, Alex.”  
  
He grinned wickedly, nipping at the taught bud he’d created, and inched further down. Indeed, he realized why he needed to take his time discovering every part of her. They had been so rushed a few days ago, he had not seen the three minutely faint, almost silvery striations low on her abdomen. And as a matter of fact may have missed them again if he weren’t doing such a lengthy, comprehensive study of her body.   
  
She seemed to sense him looking at it and remarking upon them, because he felt her tense slightly. Nervously.  
  
Not understanding her embarrassment, he laved his tongue across her left hip and the marks there. She shuddered. Now if he could only make her understand he thought them beautiful.  
  
He undid the button of her jeans and slid the zipper down, before making short work of pulling the offending material off. Tossing the jeans over the side of the bed again, he moved his way back up her body before capturing her lips again. A hand slid down his arm to rest over his hand where he’d splayed it across her abdomen.  
  
He slipped his fingers just below the hem of her panties, inching his fingers down to her folds. She hissed as he grazed her center, arching her back slightly and shutting her eyes. She chewed enticingly on her lower lip as he moved his fingers languidly about her.  
  
Alexander hadn’t thought his own need would increase so much watching her, but when she opened her eyes, the electric blue of them now molten, he couldn’t help it. His cock hardened painfully within the denim confines. Sensing his discomfort, she reached between them and made short work of the offending material. She pushed his jeans and underwear down just enough to free him to her hands… the wonderfully soft, deft hands of someone who relied on finely tuned motor skill daily.  
  
He lifted himself to rest his weight fully against her, pulling his shirt off over his head in the process. Without quite knowing how she’d done it, she’d circled her legs around him, and rolled him over onto his back where she made short work of the rest of his clothes. She sat at his feet for a moment, looking him over from head to toe.  
  
The same speculative, devilish look was on her face, the corner of her lower lip caught between her teeth as she considered him. She chuckled lowly and stretched herself over him, kissing his lips. He wanted to know what was going through her head, but didn’t dare ask. Not now. Later he would.  
  
He reached around her and easily found the clasp of her bra as she kissed the healing scratch marks from the other day on his chest. Her distraction from removing her bra was enough to roll her back over onto the bed. This time, he trailed his lips over her body, stopping to suckle her breasts—the wonderful, full globes that they were. She moaned softly, her hands wrapping behind his head and her fingers running through his hair as he continued lower, hooking his own fingers in the hips of her panties and pulling them down off her legs.  
  
He didn’t need to coax as he laid a kiss on her inner thigh, running his tongue along the femoral artery up to her center. Her hands were back in his hair again, pulling at his scalp tantalizingly as he gave her pleasure. She mewled and moaned from his ministrations, and Alexander realized belatedly that the friction against her bed was doing nothing to help him control himself.  
  
Benny pulled him away, though, and he kissed his way back up her body, resting himself comfortably into the seat of her pelvis as though it were made for him.  
  
“I need you,” she whimpered, lifting up to kiss him. Her quiet, panting entreaty was enough for him. In one smooth shift up, he drove into her warm, welcoming body. Benny’s body arched slightly as he began the slow rhythm of this dance, and he couldn’t help but smile at her rapture.  
  
He’d always been one to take in the past and never really thought much of giving. He’d always been a selfish lover.  
  
But giving to Benny was proving to be his undoing. He held back as long as he could, but when she finally reached her pinnacle of pleasure and her eyes shot open to meet his, he couldn’t control himself any longer. He heard himself groan hoarsely when at last he felt the euphoric spasms wracking his body.  
  
Utterly spent, he collapsed on her for a moment, both laying there trying to catch their breaths. He rolled to the side, wrapping her up in his arms and pulling the covers over top of them.  
  
Benny giggled and kissed just under his chin from her spot resting on his arm. “You’re beautiful when you come.”  
  
“Hmm?” he asked.  
  
“You look like some golden warrior,” she replied lazily, her hands shifting down his body and resting on the small of his back. “Every part of you is gorgeous.”  
  
Alexander placed a kiss to her brow and then her lips. “I don’t know about me, but I know you are.”  
  
The blush that spread across her cheeks amplified her post-coital glow. “Thanks.”  
  
“You don’t believe me?” he asked.  
  
She shrugged. “My body’s changed a lot since I had Harry.”  
  
“Well, since I can’t compare from before, I’m not going to say anything about that,” he said. “But what I know _now_ is that you are beautiful. And if anyone says anything different, I’ll beat them up.”  
  
“You’re good for my confidence,” she said, placing a kiss to his chest.  
  
Alexander could see in her eyes that she still didn’t believe him, but he made it his task from this point forward to show her differently until she understood. Or at least until she saw what he saw.  
  
A goddess.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
  
The shrill wailing of her alarm clock woke Benny the next morning. She reached over to the bedside table and hit the button. She really hated mornings more than anything else in the world. And yet the long arms now circling around her from behind and pulling her back against hard, warm chest made it just a little easier to suffer.  
  
“What time is it?” he asked, his voice heavy with sleep.  
  
“Time to get up,” she said.  
  
He chuckled. She could feel it on her back as it came from low in his chest. His warm breath blew across the shell of her ear an instant before his lips brushed across it. A shiver went up her spine at the sensation, and she burrowed deeper into the covers. His arms tightened comfortingly around her.  
  
Benny lay still for a moment and closed her eyes. Taking stock of her situation, she realized she could probably stay in this one spot and in this position for the rest of her life if she had to, but she would not tell him that. No matter how amazing it felt to be genuinely adored like this by a man, even if he weren’t Alex, she still did not trust the future. Maybe at some point she would find the nerve to tell him just how amazing she felt, but it wasn’t the time or place now.  
  
JC had never made her feel like this. Like she was the only woman in a sea of women. Even at their strongest point in the relationship, she had never felt like he was completely hers. He was always everywhere but with her, even when he was lying with her in bed. His mind moved a million different directions and he could not shut it off and just put himself in the Now. Of course, she only realized why that was after he left her… he had other girlfriends. He was too busy planning and strategizing his next move. Wondering when he’d find someone prettier.  
  
She hoped that her feeling of comfort with Alex wasn’t her dreaming, and that he wasn’t like JC. That trust with him, too, would only come with time. But it still did not negate the fact that never once while she had been with JC had she laid in his arms and felt so incredibly in accord and at ease with him. With Alex, the way he talked, the way he touched her—even now while they dozed—and the way he held onto her as though she would get out of the bed and run away from him was astounding to her.  
  
Maybe he held onto her like he did because she had wanted to run so many times since this whole odyssey began last week, but she had made the decision sometime between the second and third time he had taken her last night that she would not run. Even if her feelings did not develop for the man like he wanted—and she’d have to admit that even she wanted them to develop to some extent—the physical relationship was worth it. It was not the most altruistic of reasons for being in a relationship with the man, but she needed this attention for now. It did a lot toward healing her injuries after the last relationship.  
  
“I’ve really got to get up,” she said in a yawn.  
  
“When’s your call?” he asked.  
  
She yawned again. “Nine like every other day.”  
  
“It’s only six,” he said.  
  
“I have to get Harry up and drop him off at my mom and dad’s,” she said. “They babysit him for me. And Joie picks him up after she gets done doing whatever she needs to.”  
  
“Ah,” he said. “What does Joie do?”  
  
Benny smiled. “Depends on the day. She says she’s a secret agent. So if by secret agent you think of her trolling high end boutiques, going to fashion shows, and collecting clothing and accessories, then she is.”  
  
“She’s a stylist?” he asked.  
  
“Yeah,” she replied. “That’s why we’ve always worked so well together. I make stuff and she tells people how they should put it all together. Or she just tells me its crap and to start over. She’s like Tim Gunn, but without the nice.”  
  
Alexander laughed. “I see. How long have you known her?”  
  
“Since grade school,” she said. “We both liked rubbing Elmer’s glue on our hands and letting it dry.”  
  
He laughed harder at that. “You’re pretty funny in the morning.”  
  
Benny chuckled. “Humor is the only thing that makes getting up worth it.”  
  
“I beg to differ,” he said. “I can think of at least a dozen other things that make getting up worth it.”  
  
“Oh?” she asked. “And those are?”  
  
His lips brushed across her shoulder. “A shower with your lover.”  
  
Benny turned onto her back to look up at him. “That’s only one thing, Alex.”  
  
“Well, if I can persuade you into the shower, I can show you the other eleven,” he replied.  
  
She felt her cheeks color and her heart beat a little bit faster. My, he was a smooth talker. It made her wonder if he’d picked it up on his own or if someone had taught him this.  
  
“We can’t take too long,” she said.  
  
“Don’t worry about it, baby,” he replied, tossing the covers away from their bodies. For some reason, as she followed him into the bathroom, she didn’t worry. Even if she had wanted to, watching him walk in front of her with all of that perfectly sculpted, fine male body would not have allowed her to pass this opportunity up.  
  
\---  
  
Benny refused to moon over a man. Any man. Even if he was quite possibly the most beautiful example of the Nordic people on the face of the planet.  
  
Yet, that was exactly what she found herself doing repeatedly throughout the day. She would get into working on mending some of the costumes and all of a sudden, she would realize she had stopped and find herself thinking about Alex. About the way he felt in her arms. About the way he kissed her. The way he could at one moment be the most gentle lover in the world and in the next a most ardent, unabashedly forceful one.  
  
Mostly she thought about how giddy she felt and how stupid she must look with the silly grin on her lips. She shouldn’t have let it show. She shouldn’t have let him get to her as he had. But he had persisted and she was thankful.  
  
Of course, it could have helped that he was amazing in other areas. Amazing in the fact that while she was still getting ready for the day, and he was dressed, he left her. Upon heading out of her room and hearing the voices of her son and Alex chatting away, she found that Harry had been dressed in matching clothes and he was sitting in his high chair with breakfast. And Joie had been nowhere in sight.  
  
Alex had merely shrugged his shoulders with a sheepish smile and poured her a cup of coffee from the maker, handing her the cream and sugar.  
  
In a part of her brain, she wanted to think that he was doing this on purpose. That he was acting this way to gain her better opinion so she would stay with him for a while. But the fact that he hadn’t made a scene about it, and he had just done it without being asked or it even being alluded to, told her volumes. Alexander Skarsgard may just have thought more about her and Harry than she thought.  
  
She’d also be lying if she said she wasn’t a little bit in love with him after this morning. Nothing could have been more perfect or hit her more squarely between the eyes to knock some sense into her.   
  
It scared her shitless.  
  
Yet here she sat this afternoon, trying to concentrate on her sewing while listening to the prattle of the other assistant costumers talk about their weekend and what scenes they were taking care of that night for filming.  
  
One of the studio messengers popped into their workroom and Benny looked up. He carried a small nondescript gift bag colored blue. With it was a beautiful, expensive looking bouquet of purple orchids in a matching clear purple vase.   
  
Benny sighed, not thinking twice about it. Audrey always got gifts from her flavor of the month. She didn’t realize, despite all her mooning today, that she too found herself in the midst of a relationship. And they just might be for her instead.  
  
“Benny Cowan?” he asked the room.  
  
She froze, startled that he actually had said her name. She felt eyes on her as she stood up and walked over to the man and took both things from him. The rest of her coworkers tried not to pay attention to her, but she knew they were interested. A film set was like a high school. Every person in the room was just drooling for the next juicy tidbit about a member of their team so they could start gossiping. For a woman, like her, who had largely kept to herself this whole season, she just knew it was going to cause some drama for her.  
  
But at least they didn’t need to know who had sent it.  
  
When she set the vase down and grabbed for the small card, she was glad to find there was no name. It simply read, “There are still ten other reasons to get up in the morning.”  
  
Benny laughed and looked in the bag, finding a plush stuffed horse that looked remarkably like the plastic horse Alexander had received from Harrison the night before. There was another card inside that said “For Harry.”  
  
She definitely couldn’t wipe the smile off her face after this. Or the feeling of warmth now radiating through her body.   
  
“Oh, somebody’s got an admirer,” said Seth, another of the assistants.  
  
Benny looked up and around the room, finding the smiles from the others in the room. “Go back to work, people.”  
  
“You know you’re not going to get out of dishing,” Sarah said.  
  
“It’s nothing, really,” she replied. They all shared one last look before returning to their work and the conversation they had been in before the messenger arrived. Benny went back to her sewing machine and couldn’t stop smiling.  
  
\----  
  
“You’re really starting to annoy me, mate,” Stephen said to Alex who sat across from him in craft services, absently picking at his food.  
  
Alex looked at him and sighed. “Hmm?”  
  
“You’re starting to annoy me,” he repeated. Since they had first met over a year ago, he and Alex and had grown particularly close, and not just because they needed to for their roles. Both being European lent a certain type of understanding between them that he had with few of his other cast mates. Since then, they had become good friends.   
  
Alex had been there for him when he was struggling with himself over the feelings he had for Anna. He hadn’t wanted those feelings at all. He didn’t want another relationship like the others he’d had that always ended in disappointment. Alex had listened to him about it, and had actually been a very good sounding board, even if they were at a pub drinking beers and arguing over whose football club better.  
  
But being so close with Alex, especially these last six months filming the season, he had learned his friend’s moods and actions like the back of his hand.   
  
He had been very off the last few days, and at times Stephen had caught him gazing off into space as though he were trying to figure out the answers to the universe. Because everyone was so busy wrapping up before their sojourn to Las Vegas for the cast parties, he had not found a chance to mention anything to the man.  
  
Now, though, while Anna was stuck in makeup, it seemed like the best opportunity he’d have.  
  
“It’s a woman,” Stephen said.  
  
Alex looked at him and sighed. “It is.”  
  
He had not expected Alex, his ever private friend, to admit it so easily. “Who? I’ve seen you talking with those make up girls.”  
  
“No,” Alex shook his head. “What do you take me for?”  
  
“A bloke with needs,” Stephen laughed. “But then they’re not the type you get all contemplative about. What you see is what you get.”  
  
Alex laughed at him. “No, not them. You can’t say anything about it around set, though. I don’t want this widely publicized yet.”  
  
“You know I’m not going to tell anyone, except Anna, maybe, if it’s worth it,” he said.  
  
“Benny Cowan,” Alex said.  
  
“Benny?” Stephen asked. “Wardrobe girl Benny? No shit.”  
  
“Yeah,” he replied.  
  
Stephen sat back in his seat and smiled wickedly. “Way to go, man. I wish I had your women picking abilities. Would have saved me a lot of heartache with superficial romances with women in the business. You probably weeded out the least superficial woman on this set.”  
  
“Do you think so?” Alex asked, taking a sip from his water bottle.  
  
Stephen nodded. “She’s always been very kind to Anna and me without being fake about it. That’s why we gave her an invitation to our private party.”  
  
“Ah,” Alex said.  
  
“She knows her stuff, too,” Stephen said. “She’s probably the most underrated in that department. But I heard Audrey mention that she was going to ask Benny to be a co-assistant costume designer.”  
  
Alex looked at him, surprised. “Really?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“She deserves it,” Alex replied.  
  
Stephen couldn’t help by smile at his friend. “You act completely in love, yet I get this feeling you’re not sure.”  
  
“It’s going too fast,” he said. “I mean, I wanted all of this. I fought for her to even notice me. Did you know she thought I was gay? If I’d known that, I would have dispelled those thoughts long ago and told her how I felt.”  
  
Stephen couldn’t keep the laugh from bursting out of his mouth. It caused the people in the room to quiet themselves for a moment and look at them. Then they ignored them. “So you don’t like her as much as you thought?”  
  
“No, I like her _more_ than I thought,” Alex said. “That’s the problem. I thought I’d sleep with her and get rid of my fascination with her. Well, I haven’t gotten rid of it. It’s consuming my life right now. It’s just that I’m not at a good point in my career… not with what they’re saying is going to happen this season.”  
  
“Alex, take it from me,” Stephen said. “There’s never a good point in your career. You just have to go for it if it’s something you really want. If you keep waiting, you’re never going to find what you want. If you’re emotionally unavailable, then that’s another story. But I know you’re not. You just put up that screen when it suits you.”  
  
Alex sighed and played with the label on his water bottle. “Yeah. The other problem is, this morning, when we were laying in bed talking and laughing with each other, I had one of those flash forward type moments. You know, like déjà vu. Like you know you’re going to be doing this years from now with that same woman. I’ve never once in my life experienced that before. And it worries me.”   
  
“Just go with it, mate,” Stephen said. “Take it from me and my relationship troubles. You can’t control the path. As soon as you try to control it, you end up alone with a kid.”  
  
He looked at him for a long moment. “Benny has a son.”  
  
“Oh?” Stephen asked.  
  
“His father was an actor who cheated on her and left her because she was pregnant,” Alex supplied. “She’s gun-shy about actors.”  
  
Stephen smiled. “Do you blame her?”  
  
“No,” Alex said. “I just… I don’t know. I’m already in love with this kid, and I’ve only known about him since yesterday.”  
  
“I think you’re already in love his mum, too,” Stephen said.  
  
Alex frowned. “It’s too soon to say that.”  
  
“Maybe to say it to _her_ ,” Stephen said. “But you’ve done everything in your power to get her out of your system. And yet she just comes back more important, more beautiful, more amazing to you than ever. You just need to admit it to yourself now. It’ll be the best decision of your life, and make everything so much easier than fighting it.”  
  
“I suppose it is sort of like you and Anna were,” Alex said.  
  
Stephen nodded. “You’ll be a happy man once you just give in.”  
  
“I know. I’m just not sure about her feelings… if she _can_ even get over the past,” Alex said.  
  
Stephen sighed. “I’m sure she’s over it. She’s just feeling you out. Testing you. You have to earn her trust.”  
  
“True,” Alex said.  
  
“But once you have it, don’t you dare think about hurting it,” Stephen said. “I don’t even know her that well—yet—and I swear to you I’ll rough you up myself if you hurt her trust.”  
  
Alex chuckled. “I already got this from her parents and brothers and friends.”  
  
Stephen looked at him quizzically.  
  
“Long story,” Alex replied.  
  
He laughed. “And Alex, trust me when I say that you loving her child is half the equation. Being a single parent, it’s very difficult to find someone who is willing to raise other people’s children and accepting and loving them as your own.”  
  
Alex nodded. “I know.”  
  
“You should probably talk to Anna about it,” Stephen said. “She’ll be a lot more insightful, and give you better advice, especially since you’ll be in the same shoes.”  
  
Alex smiled. “I probably will.” Alex glanced at the clock on his phone and sighed. “I’ve got to get going.”  
  
“Where you headed?” Stephen asked.  
  
“Wardrobe.”  
  
“What a coincidence,” he said. “Me too.”  
  
Alex laughed and rolled his eyes, standing up. Stephen shook his head and sighed. He really hoped he gave Alex the right advice, because he really didn’t want the giant Viking after him looking for blood.  
  
\----  
  
Benny pursed her lips as she struggled with the closure on Evan’s vintage swim suit. When she finally got it to catch, she let out a sigh and stepped back. “There, Evan, you should be good. Just be careful if you play around with it.”  
  
“Okay, great,” Evan said, stepping away from her and looking in the mirror.  
  
Oh, to be twenty-two again.  
  
“ ‘Bout time you two showed up,” she heard Evan say.  
  
Benny turned around to find Alex and Stephen looking around the room for their costumes. Sarah, who was busy sewing a rip in Sam’s jeans, pointed them where they needed to go. Alex didn’t stop looking around the room, though, and he caught her gaze. Very deliberately, he walked by the workbench where the bouquet of flowers sat. His right hand reached out briefly to finger the soft petals, and Benny could have literally died with the evil grin now on his face.  
  
She chuckled lowly and shook her head, turning back to her work.  
  
“Shoot.”  
  
Benny looked up at the sound of the voice and found that Evan’s costume had ripped under her left breast. “Crap. Okay, go get in your robe. I’m not fixing that with a needle so close to your chest.”  
  
“Okay,” Evan said, flouncing away behind a changing curtain. She slipped by Alexander and ran her hand along his back slowly. Alex turned around and gave Evan a small smile.  
  
Benny sighed and shook her head. She had wondered about them since Evan had been cast in her role. It was obvious Evan had a major infatuation with Alex, and it was only aided by their one kissing scene that was more power play for their characters than anything romantic. But Benny got the distinct feeling that Evan had created more in her mind. And who could blame her? Up until this point, Alex had been extremely attentive to his cast mate.  
  
To make her jealous.  
  
“I wonder when they’re just going to stop this playing around and fuck.”  
  
Benny turned to find Sarah standing beside her. “What do you mean?”  
  
“It’s obvious she wants him,” Sarah said. “And he’s been all over her getting ready for their scene together.”  
  
Benny pursed her lips together. She couldn’t believe that this was already starting… the green eyed monster was already starting to rear its ugly head. Neither did she believe that she already had to defend her relationship because of what other people were thinking and saying. Hell, she couldn’t even defend it if she wanted to. To admit that she was seeing Alexander would open a whole other kettle of fish.  
  
“He doesn’t want her,” Benny said flatly. “She’s grasping at straws.”  
  
“What, like he’d come for you instead?” Sarah asked. “Let’s get real. Evan is like his one on a scale from one to ten.”  
  
Sarah afforded her a look at that was piteous, as though she were trying to tell her to just give up now; she was never going to be good enough to have Alex for herself. Benny frowned. This wasn’t the first time she’d dealt with all these feelings, but it stung just a little bit that the people around her obviously didn’t think her worthy of Alex’s attention. Funny, though, that she wanted to shove it in everyone’s faces that the quiet, slightly awkward wardrobe girl had bagged probably _the_ hottest and most sought after man on this set.  
  
“Anyway, I’m heading down to the sound stage,” Sarah said. “You got everything until the others come back from their dinner break?”  
  
“Yeah, I’m good,” Benny said quietly. Evan came out from changing with her robe too loosely tightened for Benny’s tastes. With a good breeze from the door opening, she’d show the whole world what she was hiding beneath it.  
  
Evan flopped onto the dingy couch, and Benny had to make herself look away. She just couldn’t handle that thought. She found some white thread and began the delicate process of sewing the rip. The girl then tried to pull Alex into a conversation as he came out from getting dressed. She jumped up and helped him into his suit coat, smoothing her hands across his back and dipping perhaps a little too low.  
  
But Alex had the grace to pull away and move out of her arm’s reach.  
  
That was when Benny realized she’d stabbed herself with the needle. “Shit.”  
  
“What happened?” Evan asked, completely unawares.  
  
“Poked myself with a needle,” Benny replied and set her things down, walking over to the package of band aids they kept on set. It was always amazing to her how many cuts, stabs and other injuries relatively skilled costumers got on a daily basis.  
  
She felt eyes on her and looked up to find Alex in the floor to ceiling mirror, adjusting his costume and fiddling with his sleeve cuffs. His eyes were following her movements. She rolled her eyes.  
  
“I don’t how they do it, but every time they put you in clothes, it just hugs your body in all the right places,” Evan said.  
  
Alex smiled and turned to look at Evan. “It’s because Benny’s so damn good at what she does.”  
  
“Oh,” Evan said softly. “YOU made it for him?”  
  
“I did most of his costumes this season,” Benny replied, trying not to be flattered by Alex’s compliment. Benny tied her thread off and handed the costume back over to Evan. With all the attitude she could muster, Evan took the costume and disappeared again behind the curtain. Benny turned back to look at Alex, but he was in front of her, pulling her into his arms and kissing her soundly.  
  
She stepped back from him a little dazed. “Thank you for the flowers, Alex. And for the present for Harry. He’ll love it.” Benny whispered so Evan wouldn’t over hear them.  
  
But Benny had forgotten that Stephen was still in the room, being as quiet as a dormouse, watching this whole scene play out. She glanced in the Brit’s direction and he merely smiled and winked at her.  
  
“I told him,” Alex said back, his lips against her ear.  
  
She looked back at Stephen who motioned as though he were zipping his lips. Benny laughed at him and pushed away from Alex. But he didn’t let her go and pulled her back toward him for another kiss.  
  
“Don’t worry about her,” Alex said. “It’s a little girl fantasy.”  
  
Benny gave him a guilty smile and sighed. Evan appeared out of the dressing room then, and they separated like oil and water. She secured the clasp on Evan’s costume and said, “Okay, you’re good to go. Please be careful with it.”  
  
“I will,” Evan said, grabbing her robe and putting it on again, flouncing out the door with one more bat of her lashes at Alex.  
  
“You need to get to set, too, Alex,” Benny said.  
  
“Yeah, I’m going,” he replied. “What’s your schedule like for the week?”  
  
“Regular work hours and I’ve really got to finish up our costumes for the party,” she said. “So if you’re looking for time to go out, good luck.”  
  
He laughed and shook his head. “I can see it now. We’re going to have to schedule date night.”  
  
“Hey, it works,” Stephen piped up. “Even if you’re on opposite sides of the world. Skype is a wonderful invention.”  
  
Benny chuckled and walked over to Stephen to help him with his costume. “We will definitely keep that in mind. But, Alex, we’ll talk about it after this trip. I’m not going to be here working as much since they’re just doing pickups after we get back.”  
  
“Okay,” he said. “I’m going.”  
  
“Bye,” Benny said, watching him leave before turning back to Stephen. “Whoever did this jacket didn’t measure right.”  
  
Stephen smiled. “Can we just toss it?”  
  
“Take it with you. Jane will flip a gasket if she knows I ‘ruined’ one of her costumes,” Benny said. “Let Alan make the editing decision.”  
  
“Will do,” he said and slung the jacket over his arm.  
  
He grabbed a hold of her hands to stop her. He smiled. “He likes you.”  
  
“Well, that’s good, cause I like him,” Benny sighed. “A lot.”  
  
Stephen nodded. “Your secret is safe with me.”  
  
“It’s not so much a secret as I just don’t want to deal with all the questions,” Benny said. “For now at least. I know the fishbowl effect is going to happen eventually if this works out and things keep getting bigger for the show and Alex, but I just want some time to enjoy the relationship before that happens.”  
  
“I understand completely,” Stephen said. “You’re coming as his date for our party, right?”  
  
“For yours and Anna’s? Yeah,” Benny said.  
  
Stephen grinned evilly. “What costume are you making him?”  
  
Benny laughed. “You’ll just have to wait and see. He’ll kill me if I tell you and ruin the surprise.”  
  
“Damn,” he said. “All he told me was that I would laugh my ass off.”  
  
“You probably will,” Benny said.   
  
He glanced at the wall clock and smiled. “I better be off.”  
  
Benny smiled. “Trust me, the show can’t go on without you. They’ll wait.”  
  
“True,” he said and headed toward the door. “Oh, and Benny?”  
  
“Yeah?” she asked.  
  
“Don’t listen to what other people say,” Stephen said. “They don’t know what they’re talking about.”  
  
The door closed behind Stephen and she let out a long breath. Had he heard the comment Sarah had made to her? Probably. But it was also good advice for everyone else who said anything negative to her. His veiled compliment, though, made her feel good about herself after that highly stressful situation.  
  
He was right, though. She really needed to stop caring about what other people said and thought. They only two peoples’ thoughts that mattered right now were hers and Alex’s.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
  
Benny held her glass filled with colorful, tropical drink, a pineapple and umbrella balancing on the side as Tess made a toast to the next few days of fun and debauchery. The majority of the cast and crew did not get in until early this afternoon, but she, Joie and Tess had left late the previous night after they closed down shop in order to get here in time to party a little more. Tess and Benny had very easily reasoned that they both deserved the extra time at the expense of HBO and the hotel for a season well done.  
  
So it was such that upon settling in their room and sleeping until about ten the next morning, they woke and immediately started their fun. This included a few mimosas at brunch, some drinks as they did a little gambling, and $1 Jello shots from Fat Tuesdays. They had ordered a nice bottle of wine during their late dinner and were enjoying one last cocktail before heading over to the first of many parties being thrown for their cast and crew. Where Benny was certain there would be more alcohol.   
  
At least it would make their small appearance bearable. Tonight was just a regular clothes function, and really just a photo-op for the cast, so they could sneak out early to go to the Latin dance club on the other side of the hotel. Anything so she didn’t have to spend a lot of time with the other crew members.  
  
Even if Benny did not particularly like her coworkers, Tess was one of the only ones she could really stand. They had grown close since Benny had been hired, Tess taking her under her wing and showing her the ropes and offering support when she wanted to shoot a couple of the people on set. It had also happened that Tess herself was going through some trouble of her own, coping with the loss of her husband, so they were a fit pair while on set. As Benny often said, misery loved company.  
  
But Benny did not really think herself miserable now. Not any more. Certainly, she did not like many of the people she worked with, but ever since Alex had come into her life as her boyfriend, things had taken a swift one-eighty. Granted, they both had decided to keep their relationship quiet for a while, at least until the parties here in Vegas, and then only reveal it to those who would not blab about it, but Benny was happy. She was almost serene in the fact that she could look at Alex, and know that he was _hers_. No matter what anyone else said or did about him, to him, or around him, _she_ was the one that he had chosen. Oh, she still kept her guard up in the event he was just pulling wool over her eyes, but even she got that different feeling. She had never been so trusting of JC. This, and Alex, were incredibly different.  
  
Still, she could not give herself completely. Not yet. She might, in time, allow herself to be completely done for it, but she was not only protecting herself these days, but also her son. In the future, if Alex played his cards right, he might have all of her. But she just wasn’t sure yet.  
  
Their waiter cleared away their plates and took care of their bill. They sat for a bit longer talking about the rest of the plans for the weekend, trying to pass as much time as possible so that the paparazzi outside the club would be gone. Eventually, though, they departed the restaurant and found the club, and the extremely long line waiting to get in.  
  
The sneers they received from the people in line might have made Benny feel bad if she really cared. Honestly, she just wanted to see Alex. Their schedules had been so hectic the last week that after Monday evening shooting, they had seen and talked to each other a grand total of two times, and those times were with other people around and watching. While there would still be people watching and women begging Alex’s time, she would be happy to just see him and know that he was alive and well.  
  
And she wanted him to see her, too. Somehow, Joie had convinced her to wear of the more daring dresses Benny had brought with her. Joie’s reasoning had seemed logical to her… if they were going to a dressy salsa club later she had to wear a dress like this. Benny knew as well as anyone these clubs had “aesthetic codes” and gave preference to the better looking.  
  
Benny was pretty sure the amount of alcohol she had consumed during the day played a part in this convincing, but even now, she didn’t really care. Especially after Tess did her hair and makeup. It would take some of the potency out of her total look the next night for the costume parties, she was sure, but she would be happy.  
  
She also could not deny that she felt the need to be a little sexier than normal in Las Vegas, sin capital of the world, especially for Alex. She liked the feeling he gave her when he appraised her body openly. It seemed only right she gave him something worth looking at.  
  
The thick, muscle bound man at the door cross checked their passes with their IDs and his party list. Then making a cursory once over of their party, he smiled broadly and let them in, telling them to have fun.  
  
As soon as they walked into the club, Benny almost regretted it. There were too many people here, and the flashing lights in the tight swarm around the guests of honor gave an odd strobe affect that made her a little ill. It really did not matter what she looked like tonight, because no one was looking at her.   
  
She followed Tess and Joie to the bar to order drinks, seeing some of the other crew members milling about. The main party that was exclusive to their cast and crew was the masquerade the following night, but they were also welcome to attend this.   
  
Joie stepped beside her and sipped her drink, looking out at the crowd. “Ugh, look at all those bimbos hanging all over Stephen. They don’t even care Anna is standing right there.”  
  
Benny glanced to where her friend was looking. Honestly, she was more concerned with the chesty Asian hanging on Alex’s arms while a friend snapped a picture of them. He was being very friendly with her, but keeping her at arm’s length when he could.  
  
Benny looked at Joie and gave her a small smile, and Joie wrapped an arm around her to pull her close. “Sorry, I completely forgot.”  
  
“Don’t,” Benny said. “I’m fine. Really. It’s something I have to get used to if I’m going to date him. Anywhere he goes, the women follow.”  
  
Joie nodded. “It’s never something you get used to, even in a very committed relationship with a guy. I could still claw the eyes out of every chick who touches Josh a little too friendly. But all I can do is trust him to not give in to temptation. I know you’ve lost that trust after JC, but I hope you can find it again.”  
  
“I think I might,” Benny said, looking into her drink for a moment. “He makes me feel more secure than JC ever did.”  
  
Joie smiled. “I’m glad. Now, I think Mr. Skarsgard needs a drink refill.”  
  
Benny glanced at his glass and found that it was indeed empty, but he was too busy to care about it. “Maybe I should get him one and take it to him.”  
  
“That’s pretty much pissing on him like a dog on a hydrant,” Joie said. “Your crew mates are going to know something’s up.”  
  
“Let them,” Benny said. “I hate just sitting back and watching this go down while Kristin’s boyfriend is there beside her the whole time, kissing her. While Anna is there with Stephen… and even Tess is there with Sam.”  
  
Joie smiled. “Then go get him, girlfriend.”  
  
“You’re supposed to be my conscience and tell me it’s better to stay here,” Benny mumbled.  
  
“How long have you known me?” Joie asked.  
  
“A long time,” Benny said.  
  
Joie nodded her head. “That’s right, my friend. And in all that time, have I ever been one to tell you to be reserved.”  
  
“No,” Benny replied with a laugh, turning to the bartender. The bartender was attentive and came right to her. “What’s the tall blond drinking?”  
  
“Whiskey and Seven,” he said, looking at her with an amused smile. “I can’t guarantee he’ll take it from you, though. Others have already tried.”  
  
Benny rolled her eyes. “Just make the drink, and we’ll see.”  
  
\---  
  
Alex was growing anxious. Benny had sworn up and down she would be here for the party even though it really wasn’t a big deal for her. Hell, it wasn’t even really a big deal for him, he just had to show up because it was in his contract as promotion for the series. But he would have liked to have his girlfriend here. Despite the fact that they had said they would keep it quiet, he wanted to spend some much needed time with her. This not seeing each other during the week was for the birds, especially when he woke up hard nearly every morning from a particularly hot dream, starring Benny. He would have liked to have her in his bed so he could show her exactly what he had been dreaming about instead of having to wait.  
  
But every time he got a chance to look at the entrance of the club, he did not see her. Or when he looked around, he was blinded by another flash of light. He supposed, though, that with the amount of attention he was receiving, Benny might be hiding out and not wanting to come over to him. Not that he could really blame her for hiding. He wanted to do it, too. But that didn’t help the fact that every time he saw Kristin lean over and kiss her boyfriend, or Stephen to Anna, he longed to taste Benny’s lips again.  
  
He really had it bad.  
  
When he saw that Tess, one of the makeup supervisors, had sidled up to Sam’s side with a smile, he grew hopeful. Tess had driven with Benny and Joie and they were sharing the same room. Maybe she was around. But just as he was beginning a perusal of the club—for once, he thanked the Gods that he was as tall as he was and could easily see over most everyone around him—a new group of girls showed up for autographs, pictures, and the endless posturing they employed to try to get him to notice them.   
  
He found it interesting that he could care less about them. He had always been a very vain man and had thrived off the heady sense of importance whenever women did this to him. It wasn’t all the time, but he enjoyed the spotlight. That’s why he was an actor, after all. He liked the swooning. But he literally could give a fuck about their push up bras, fake tits, hair, nails and orange tans. Give him the feel of real hair in his hands as he tugged in the throes of making love, or the slight swing of a woman’s natural breasts as she rode him.  
  
Alex felt a small hand run across his low back through his suit coat as the owner of the hand swung around to his side, pulling him to her. He looked, expecting it to be another fan who thought she had the right to touch him so familiarly. But it wasn’t.  
  
Beside him stood the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen in a bright red dress with a short skirt that accentuated her surprisingly toned thighs—from the horseback riding, no doubt—and had a plunging neckline showing her amazing breasts. With the dark, dramatic makeup accentuating the blueness of her eyes and her long curtain of curly hair let loose instead of being in the normal ponytail, she was barely recognizable. And he felt his cock twitch at the realization that all of it was his.  
  
It took a moment to find words to add to his lust, and he leaned down close to her ear, “You look amazing.”  
  
She grinned. “Thanks. So do you. I brought you a refill.”  
  
He looked at the glass in her hand and smiled. He hadn’t even seen that. Now he was rethinking having her with him… he would not be able to concentrate on what he was trying to do. At all.  
  
“You didn’t spike it with anything, did you?” he asked with a joking grin.   
  
He felt her hand on his back smack him slightly. “Of course not. I don’t think I have to drug you to get what I’d like.”  
  
Letting a low whistle out of his lips, he grinned devilishly. “No, you most certainly do not. I’d give to you whatever you liked right here, but I think we might cause a scene.”  
  
Benny smiled. “We already have, Alex.”  
  
Alex looked up and at the people around him. Fans were shooting him daggers with their eyes, and they had a feral, deadly look reserved for Benny at his side. “Oh.”  
  
She smiled. “I’m going to go mingle for about a half hour. The girls and I have reservations at the salsa club then.”  
  
“You like to dance?” he asked.  
  
“I like salsa and other dances like it,” she said. “Do you dance?”  
  
He laughed. “Surprisingly, even though I might appear like a tall gangly, uncoordinated guy, I love to and I’m marginally good at it.”  
  
Benny chuckled. “Well, if you get done soon, you should come and we’ll dance.”  
  
“I don’t think dancing is what I’d like to do to you when we get done here,” he said.  
  
“Think of it as foreplay,” she said. “Hot, sweaty foreplay with lots of grinding.”  
  
He moaned softly. “You’re killing me here, Benny.”  
  
“I know,” she said. “Pay attention to your fans, Alex. They waited a long time to see you.”  
  
He sighed. “If I must.”  
  
Benny smiled. “You must.”  
  
She pulled away from him and began to step back, but he could not contain himself. He grabbed her hand and pulled her into his arms, kissing her deeply and thoroughly, remembering again why she was quickly, and almost frighteningly, becoming his life. When he released his grasp on her, she stepped back and appeared dazed for a moment. But she righted herself like a pro, shifted a piece of hair that had fallen in her eyes out of the way and turned to walk away from him, amidst the gaping of the fans, other onlookers at the club, and his colleagues. He wondered if anyone save Stephen and Anna knew who she was as she joined Joie’s side.  
  
Joie gave her friend a thumbs up and a look of complete surprise. Benny turned completely red and covered her face with her hands in embarrassment, but laughed it off and looked at him again with a grin.  
  
Stephen stepped up beside him and clapped him on the back. “She just claimed you in front of everyone, you know that, right?”  
  
“Oh, I am well aware of the fact,” Alex said, shaking his head to clear his thoughts. “Not that she had to worry, I am totally and completely hers.”  
  
This was going to be _the_ longest press engagement of his life. Oh yes it was.  
  
\---  
  
Benny could not believe how she was acting. She never, _ever_ in her life did anything like she had done to Alex. In the back of her mind, she knew this was all made extremely possible by the fact that she had consumed a good amount of liquor already, and that in Vegas even the most reserved person lost at least some of their inhibitions. But the fact that she did recognize what she did for what it was concerned her even more. She did it because she wanted to do it. She did it because she could not stand the sight of that man with another woman on his arm.  
  
And that scared her. She had tried to be like this with JC, but it had never been as oddly meaningful to her. This time around, she knew that Alex liked the show of possession. JC had never liked it. He liked the catch and release mode: he chased them until at last they broke down, and then when they became too comfortable, he let them go or continued fucking them while he found someone else to chase.  
  
That Alex seemed to have enjoyed her doing what she did made her feel strange, but empowered. As though the way he had looked at her had not set her on fire enough, she felt as though she might be consumed soon if she did not find a way to cool down.  
  
The fans circled around her like a vulture stalking their target. The few other cast and crew members that were there eyed her warily, as though they did not recognize her. Or, they did recognize her but just could not believe it was Benny Cowan, the girl from wardrobe. But they kept a wide berth and she was fine with that, especially while she was still befuddled from her earlier show.  
  
Joie had been most proud of her, too. She only hoped Joie didn’t tell her family what she had done, as she was prone to do. She would never hear the end of it.  
  
After a while, she and her friends decided to leave the party. There really wasn’t much going on besides the general adoration of the show and the actors in the show. As soon as she made her way toward the door, though, she felt as though all of the patrons of the bar exhaled a breath in relaxation. Benny frowned, but pushed it out of her head.  
  
It wasn’t until they had already been to the salsa club for an hour when at last she caught sight of the tall man at the door. Her tall man…  
  
Accompanied by Stephen, Anna and Sam.  
  
The bouncer let them in without thinking, and pointed them to the VIP section. Alex caught her eyes, smiled brightly and headed in her direction. His long strides allowed him to cover more distance quickly even in the crowded club. He pulled her into his arms, kissing her soundly once again. It was enough to stoke the embers that had been smoldering for him earlier.  
  
“Dance with me?” he asked, but didn’t wait for her reply as his hands found her hips and shifted her out onto the main dance floor.  
  
The live band started into a slower song with a throbbing, sensuous rhythm. Alex’s hands didn’t leave her hips, using his firm grasp to move hers with his, as he moved slowly with the song. Benny had seen his catlike grace, the way he loped like a predator, but she had never expected him to be like this.  
  
He turned her around, placing her bottom in the seat of his pelvis and ground himself into her. Benny, already breathless from the way he was moving her around so purposely—commandingly—gasped at the feeling of him against her. She grinned, resting her head back against his shoulder, moving with the beat of music and in tandem with his hips.  
  
She had gone dancing a number of times before, but she had never felt so good about it. Sometimes she even wondered if she looked like an idiot. But right now, that was pretty hard to think, as Alex’s hands shifted from her hips up to her stomach, the splay of his fingers enough to reach just under a breast.  
  
“I couldn’t get out of there fast enough,” he breathed into her ear, his lips whispering across her neck.  
  
“I’m sorry I left you in such a state,” she said. Her breath caught in her throat as he quickly and expertly moved her out to twirl her around and bring back to face him. She grabbed his biceps through his jacket in an effort to center herself, the combination of alcohol, the movement of the spin and the lightheadedness too much for her.  
  
He kissed her again, somehow not missing a beat when the song changed yet again to a faster pace.  
  
She pulled back from him, gasping for air. He threw her back out again, twirling her back to him.  
  
“Where did you learn to dance like this?” she asked him.  
  
“My mom loves dancing,” he said. “Dad and she would do it all the time when I was little. When they danced they weren’t fighting, and the passion between them, even to my young eyes, was easy to see.”  
  
Benny’s heart warmed at the thought of that. She knew how much his parent’s relationship or lack thereof affected him.  
  
“It was one of the few times they were both happy,” he said, pulling her back to him and holding her close and stopping. His hands dropped to her waist and then her hips again, his erection now prominent and pressing into her. “Benny, I need you.”  
  
It was said with such want, that it almost sounded like he was in pain.  
  
By the feel of his erection, she imagined he was. “Let’s go to the room.”  
  
“I’m not walking through the casino with an erection like this,” he said.  
  
Benny blushed deeply and looked around her, not believing she was even considering what was going through her mind. Before she could stop herself, she turned to him and pulled him in the direction of a dark alcove.  
  
The wicked grin on his face was enough to bolster her confidence, and she stepped into the alcove to find that it turned into an even deeper, secret space. Benny had an image of other trysting couples doing this very same thing, and suddenly she didn’t feel so horrible. Not that she could really feel such a thing. She was pretty sure she needed this pent up release as much as he did.  
  
He pushed her forcefully against the wall, his lips finding hers immediately, his hands slipping beneath her and squeezing. Benny reached between them and quickly undid his belt and the button and fly on his suit pants. His hands left her rump and traveled up, pulling the neckline of her dress down, his fingers slipping under the underwire of her bra and pushing up, freeing her to him. She slipped her hands in his boxer briefs, releasing him finally. He hissed at her touch, his reaction taking her by surprise when he nipped a little hard at a nipple.  
  
Benny leaned back against the wall, struggling to keep standing when his other hand traveled down between them and hastily pushed her panties aside, two long fingers sliding into her.  
  
“Alex, just fuck me,” she said, grabbing at his hair when he turned his attention to her other breast.  
  
“I have every intention of that,” he said raggedly, pushing her against the wall with his body and using the leverage to lift her up. Wrapping her legs around him, his arousal was immediately in contact with her center.  
  
She moaned when he shifted just so and filled her completely. He set a quick, frenzied rhythm, mirroring the song in the background and the blood rushing in her ears. His lips were on hers then, forceful and needy, his hands on her hips and her rump alternately to balance them, and to help her move with his timing.  
  
Benny hadn’t expected the sudden rush of her orgasm, or Alex’s muffled cry of completion in her ear, when he came shortly after. She clutched him to her, as they struggled to find an even breathing pattern, their hearts slowing down.  
  
She felt his lips on the crook of her neck, softly kissing a trail up and across her jaw to her lips. When at last he pulled away, he rested his sweaty forehead against hers and smiled serenely.  
  
“Thank you,” he said.  
  
Benny chuckled throatily. “No, thank you.”  
  
He gave a goofy grin, and set her down on the ground. Her legs still wobbly, it took her a moment to reorient herself with her surroundings. She arranged her dress, and slipped her underwear and bra back into place, watching him do the same thing and button his pants.  
  
“Can we walk through the casino now?” she asked, even though she knew she probably looked a sight now with the burn from his unshaven cheeks on her face, and the assuredly swelled lips.   
  
“No,” he replied, leaning in to kiss her deeply. He pressed her back against the wall again in the process.  
  
She scoffed.  
  
“I’m not done dancing with you,” he said.  
  
Benny moaned into his lips when he kissed her again. “At least let me go to the bathroom and clean up.”  
  
He smiled. “I’ll meet you in the VIP section.”  
  
Benny watched as he left her, shaking her head and trying to put herself back into reality. The only problem was this man had to be a figment of her imagination. No man was like this. He was a dream. He made her feel like a princess in a fairytale. She had never felt this way with any other man; she felt beautiful, sexy, cherished and loved all at the same time.   
  
Loved.  
  
When had that crept in there?  
  
She sighed. But as with all fairytales, something bad was bound to come along and muck it all up for her. She just hoped it wouldn’t ruin them. She didn’t think she could deal with that. Not when she had something so amazing within her grasp.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9  
  
Benny fiddled with the fake costume necklace on her neck, turning back and forth in the mirror, making certain she was completely put together. This costume had taken so long and she had put so much into it, she hoped it would be worth it in the end to have made it so detailed. For a masquerade in which she would wear the dress for one night, it felt like it had been a waste of time, especially when she knew most of the attendees of said function would be drunk and not notice it.   
  
However, as Joie kept reassuring her, it was a beautiful costume and she was bound to get at least a small amount of attention tonight, if not because she looked good, definitely because she was an amazing costume designer. She would take the chance if it meant showing off her skills.   
  
ith her contract ending with the season, she had to make certain her place was cemented in stone for the coming season once they were renewed. As difficult and thankless as her job could be at times, the job paid well, and Benny would very much like to stay on the crew for the following season. And who knew what other HBO executives would be around and might see her tonight.  
  
But then, they could probably care less.  
  
“You look wonderful,” Joie said beside her. “What you should really be worried about is your costume for later.”  
  
Benny frowned inwardly. When Joie had finally shown her the costume she had pulled together when they arrived to Las Vegas, Benny’s first reaction was to freak out. She loved her friend like a sister. Hell, she _was_ her sister, essentially. But that wasn’t going to stop the payback that would be sown at some other time and place. This payback was going to be a bitch.   
  
Though the idea for the costume had been an inspired one, it was the fact that the actual costume had been purchased at an adult costume shop. No matter if it was a high end adult costume shop, Benny still was not too keen on having to wear _that_ to a party with her fellow cast and crew members. There were limits to Benny’s newfound comfort in her body because of Alex’s attention. And this was way over those limits… and barely covered her assets.   
  
Literally.  
  
She had thought her dress for the salsa club the other night had been revealing. She had been wrong.  
  
So maybe it really would be a good thing if everyone was drunk off their asses by the time they got to the second party.  
  
“Oh come on,” Joie said, adjusting her long, filmy pink ballet skirt on her hips. “You’re going to look hot. Just like you did last night. And look at what happened… went into a dark corner at a public club and fucked your boyfriend senseless.”  
  
“Joie!” Benny huffed. She had neither confirmed nor denied the fact that this was what she had done when they had disappeared last night.   
  
Joie smirked and pushed a small tendril of hair she had left down out of her tight ballet bun back from her eyes. “I don’t know why you’re so defensive about it. I’m actually proud of you. I think everyone would be impressed that you did that. It’s a little bit of ‘old you’ coming back out to play. I like it.”  
  
Benny rolled her eyes.  
  
“What are we talking about?” Tess asked as she stepped out of the bathroom.  
  
“Benny and Alex last night,” Joie said.  
  
Tess laughed. “Honey, don’t be embarrassed by that. Not with that man in question.”  
  
“I’m so totally telling Sam you said that,” Benny remarked.  
  
“He’d just laugh at you,” Tess replied, grabbing her purse. “Are we ready to head down, ladies? I intend to take full advantage of HBO’s hospitality tonight in the open bar.”  
  
“Yes, let’s go down,” Joie said. “I’ve got some networking to do.”  
  
\---  
  
Alex shifted uncomfortably in his wool jacket, second guessing his attire for the night. It wasn’t that it didn’t fit; it actually fit very well for which he was surprised. No premade costumes were ever to his measurements with his long torso. However, this one hadn’t been so bad. Right now, what bothered him the most was the amount of clothes he wore made him unduly hot and itchy in a packed club. He really didn’t like wearing this much clothing when it wasn’t absolutely necessary—like the dead of winter in Stockholm.  
  
At least he looked good. Well, if he was being honest, better than good. Good enough that he thought he may actually consider a role for a show or movie in the future where he would be made to wear these tightly-fitted pants, tall boots, embroidered waistcoat and tailcoat.  
  
Now he just hoped Benny liked it. The pains he had gone through to find this—with Joie’s help, of course—were numerous in such a short amount of time. But they’d found this costume in some back lot, and he’d even had been given a black leather mask that Joie had said one of Benny’s jousting “uncles” had made to compliment the attire.  
  
His friends and colleagues already here had questioned him endlessly about who he was supposed to be. When he told them, they had laughed their asses off. Alex had hoped that the costume later would have been the only thing to make them laugh, but he had been wrong. He hoped he truly did not look ridiculous.  
  
The females hadn’t laughed, though. They had grinned stupidly at him, and if they were looking for his romantic attention, made some quip about Prince Charming. So maybe it would be okay.  
  
The open bar was helping his nerves, too, as he waited for her to finally make her entrance.  
  
Stephen stopped beside him. “I told you that you were already in love with her.”  
  
“Why do you bring that up?” he asked.  
  
“You picked your costume to match hers even though you didn’t need to.” Stephen nodded toward the entrance of the ballroom.   
  
There stood Benny flanked by Joie the ballerina and Tess the renaissance lady. Alex had never been one for women who dressed up, wore tons of makeup or spent hours in front of a mirror, but he could not deny the fact that Benny Cowan was almost as incredibly beautiful when she did as when she didn’t. Tonight was no different.  
  
Her ample breasts were barely contained in the corset of her costume made out of varying shades of blue and silver. She wore jewels and short feathers in her ornately sculpted hair, fake stage jewelry, and her makeup soft and expertly done. No doubt Tess had something to do with that. White gloves extended up her arms to just over her elbow, and a fan and tiny beaded pouch hung from her wrist. She was a vision.  
  
Benny’s costume clearly was the most opulent and detailed costume in the entire room, the only other costume close to it being the one Tess wore, which he suspected Benny had also made and leant to her. Most of everyone had either rented or bought their costumes at a costume shop. It was simple to tell Benny had not. Hers was specifically designed, couture. It fit her like a glove, and it did not look cheap. Alex had to wonder why this woman wasn’t getting head costume designer positions left and right if this was the quality of her designing. Alan even walked in front of her for a minute, caught a glimpse of her, smiled and continued on. Maybe that was a good sign.  
  
He supposed it should be expected of a costume designer to have created something so amazing, but even the other costume staff he had seen wandering around had not made the same effort in their costumes.  
  
It was obvious she was looking around for him, and when she finally saw him, a large, bright smile crossed her lips. Followed by a lengthy perusal of his form, wherein she grinned wickedly.  
  
He pushed through the crowd, not unaware that people were watching him, and stopped in front of Benny. She smiled up at him. “You really are Prince Charming, aren’t you?”  
  
He laughed. “I like to think so. Is it okay? Joie said it would have to do.”  
  
“It’s wonderful, Alex. About half a century off, but I don’t think it matters. It’s obvious we’re a pair,” she said. “Where did you find riding boots to fit?”  
  
“They’re my own,” he replied. “My family owns horses in Sweden. I ride sometimes. So I had a pair.”  
  
Benny smiled. “Why haven’t you told me this until now? Do you realize how many points you would win with my father?”  
  
“Funny, because I think you’ll win points with my father when he finds out you ride, too,” Alex laughed.  
  
“I’m just glad the boots will be sticking around,” she said. “I’ll have to make you your own leggings, though.”  
  
He laughed. “That’s what does it for you? The boots?”  
  
“It’s the whole boot-slash-thigh combination,” she replied.  
  
“I’ll wear them often,” he said, leaning down and kissing her softly.  
  
Benny pulled back from him and smiled. “I need liquor, Alex, if I’m going to wear the costume Joie found for me for the after party.”  
  
“Well then, let me take you to the bar, my lady,” he said, bowing slightly and righting himself. He offered his arm to her and they made their way to the bar, feeling like a king with such a beautiful woman on his arm and everyone looking at them jealously.  
  
\---  
  
Within the next few hours, Benny was feeling that she had consumed many alcohol-based drinks, only a nibble of food from the buffet, and that her corset was very, very tightly laced. She hated the fact that she had taught Joie how to lace one so well. But she could not really mind, because she knew the costume looked good, and that people had been watching her the whole night… though it wasn’t because of the costume.   
  
It was because of the man who was paying her particular attention.  
  
However, nothing had felt better than when the Fun Bag Twins and a few others had finally gotten up the courage to come over and speak with her. It seemed that as soon as they really realized who it was, they had been shocked that she looked like she did when not working. And it was the kind of shocked that made Benny feel vindicated, even if most of them were then going behind her back and saying nasty things because of her apparent relationship with Alex. Nothing had ever satisfied her more than Alex placing his arm around her and ‘introducing’ her as his girlfriend.  
  
The best part of the night had come when Alan had walked by her again, stopped this time, looked her over and smiled.  
  
 _“So, what warehouse did you get this from? Did you alter it?” he asked.  
  
“I didn’t, I made it from my own design,” she replied.  
  
He frowned then. “This is fabulous. I’ve been thinking we’ll have more flashbacks next season, and we’ll need someone with a firm grasp of historical clothing. Audrey is amazing, but historical is not her forte.”  
  
Benny had clenched her mouth shut and didn’t say anything. She wasn’t going to impugn her boss to her boss’ boss. It wouldn’t look good for anyone. Even if Benny did not quite understand Audrey’s design aesthetic for the show.  
  
“Are you on my payroll?” he asked.  
  
Benny tried not to scoff. Didn’t he see her nearly every day on set? Was she that forgettable elsewhere? But maybe his own consumption of alcohol added to his haze. “I am. I am an assistant costumer.”  
  
“With this talent?” he asked.   
  
“Thank you, Alan,” she said.  
  
He smiled. “I’ll speak to Audrey about next season. You should be assistant designer.”  
  
“Thank you,” Benny replied, a little in disbelief._  
  
She knew what kind of pay raise that meant and how many people more tenured than she would be pissed off if he wasn’t just speaking out of his ass. Which he probably was. One could never trust these Hollywood types. But she couldn’t help but feel so filled with hope for the promotion.  
  
Neither could she help the general feeling of happiness she suddenly realized. Actually, the only other time in her life she had been so purely happy was when Harrison had been born. Of course there were still a lot of things that had to go on for everything to really start working like a well-oiled machine, but she had never had so much to look forward to… so much promise of great things in her future.  
  
\---  
  
Benny found him at the after party, still wearing a trench coat, refusing to take it off and show the people what he was wearing beneath it. When he turned and saw her, he frowned.  
  
“What’s that look for?” she said. “It took a lot of work for me to walk out of my room looking like a trampy Elvis impersonator.”  
  
“No, it’s not that. You look amazing,” he said.  
  
“You look fucking hot,” Ryan added from his spot beside Alex.  
  
Benny blushed. “The fishnets itch, the tall boots are killing me, and my ass and tits are barely covered. Don’t tell me you’re not going through with this.”  
  
He scoffed. “You look much more beautiful than I do in mine.”  
  
“This was the deal,” Benny said, reaching for the tie on his trench coat. “Put your money where your mouth is, my friend.”  
  
“I don’t know if I want to see this,” Ryan said. “He could be naked under there.”  
  
Benny laughed at Ryan. “He’s not. And he’s drunk enough to deal with this. I thought you said you liked to take risks, Alex?”  
  
He frowned. “Not in hot pink Lycra.”  
  
“Well, your ploy to get me into revealing clothes backfired didn’t it?” she asked. She really was too drunk and too tired to care what he thought. A deal was a deal.  
  
Alex looked at her one last time, and sighed heavily, reaching up and taking off his trench coat. This was followed by silence from the people around them. After they realized what Alex was supposed to be, though, they all laughed. Loudly. And at Alex’s expense.  
  
And Benny loved it.  
  
Stephen and Anna came over to them. Anna was unable to control her giggles or eyes moving down and continually catching glimpses of Alex’s crotch and other fine male attributes. Stephen had tears in his eyes as he stopped laughing.  
  
When at last he could, he looked at Alex and grinned. “I am not even holding a contest. I name you winner of best costume, Alex. Hands-fucking-down.”  
  
“Thanks,” Alex said sourly, looking around the room again.  
  
“Oh, come on,” Benny said, smacking him. “You look great. Your butt looks better… but you look great.”  
  
Alex rolled his eyes and finally laughed at himself. “I can’t believe I did this.”  
  
Benny giggled and grabbed his head, pulling him down to her lips. She kissed him and stepped back. “Neither do I, but I’m glad you did.”  
  
“I need a drink,” he said. “ _A lot_.”  
  
“Let’s go, Eric,” she said, grabbing his hand.  
  
“Certainly, Bubba,” he replied, following her through the crowd.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10  
  
Benny moaned into the soft Egyptian cotton pillow cases, wishing the electronic ringing somewhere around her would cease for a just a moment. Well, not just _a_ moment. Many moments. She also wanted the painful throbbing in her head to stop making her world spin. Even with her eyes closed, head buried in a pillow, it spun endlessly around.   
  
Finally the electronic ring ended, and she sighed. Now if she could just fall back asleep and never wake up again, everything would be perfection.  
  
But that wasn’t about to happen. Indeed, the ringing started again and it wasn’t in her ears. It also vaguely permeated her senses that she knew that ring. She also knew she had given her best friend that ringtone as a joke.  
  
Benny shot up from her pillow, looking blearily around the room. Her head still wanted to be weighted to the pillow, though, and it took a minute for the throbbing to start again. This time it was worse and centered right over her eyes and temples.  
  
No, no. The headache didn’t stay there. It slowly throbbed and radiated itself over her entire scalp down to her neck.  
  
Fuck, what did she drink last night? Replaying her memories as much as her brain would allow her in this current state, Benny remembered she had started doing shots with Alex at Anna and Stephen’s party. After that, it was blurry. But she knew she had ended back up in Alex’s room because, as she looked around the room through squinty, crusted over eyes, she could see that she was in a palatial suite and not the small room she and the girls had booked.  
  
The ringing in her ears continued unabated as did the electronic ring. She moaned again and careful stood from the bed, fumbling through the semi-darkness of the blackout drapes on the window toward the sound. Benny hit her shoulder on a corner and stopped.  
  
“Fucking wall,” she said as though it would help, moving two inches to the right and continuing on her path. She found the ringing in her tiny handbag, and the small cell phone. Reaching in for the phone, she knocked out folded papers, but could not make herself care about them right at the moment. The most important thing was stopping the ringing. Besides, if she bent over, she would fall over.   
  
Benny flipped the phone open and placed it against her ear. “What?”  
  
“Good morning, sunshine!” said Joie.  
  
“Don’t be so freakin’ loud,” Benny replied. “What do you want? I’d like to go sleep off a little more of this hellacious hangover.”  
  
Joie sighed. “Oh, my dear, we don’t have time for that. We’ve got to check out and head home.”  
  
Benny frowned. “Who scheduled that? The night after a party?”  
  
“You did when you made the reservations,” Joie said, her voice still sing-songy.  
  
“Why are you so fucking chipper this morning? From what I remember, you were doing shots with Ryan all night,” she said.  
  
Joie laughed. “Just because I did them, doesn’t mean I swallowed.”  
  
Benny groaned, remembering her friend had backed her shots with “beer”. “The beer bottle was empty?”  
  
“Yes it was,” Joie said. “You don’t work in a bar for a year during college without learning some things.”  
  
“Why didn’t I think of that?” Benny said.  
  
Joie laughed. “Because the costume wasn’t hiding your tits and ass sufficiently. You said you had to drink to forget it. So I let you, and I kept sober so I could make sure everything was okay. Well, sober enough.”  
  
“I feel like shit,” Benny said. “Lord knows what’s going to happen when I’m exposed to light.”   
  
“Maybe you’ll combust into blue flames and it’ll be flambé,” Joie joked.  
  
Benny groaned. “I’m not in a jokey mood right now.”  
  
“Listen,” she said. “Call down to the desk and have them leave a key for me to get up to those rooms. You take a shower, drink some water. I’ll pick the key up after I finish here at breakfast and bring you clothes to put on. The least I can do as your best friend is make sure your walk of shame is in clean clothes that are your own.”  
  
“Thanks, you’re the best.” Benny rolled her eyes.   
  
“I know,” Joie said. “Anyway, my food’s here. I gotta go.”  
  
Benny sighed. “Later.”  
  
“Later, Mrs. Skarsgard,” Joie said with a laugh.   
  
Benny started at that, thinking it odd that Joie had said that, but Joie had been teasing her about Alex at any possible moment she could manage. It wasn’t out of the realm of Joie to say such a thing, except she had not used that epithet as of yet. But Benny’s brain hurt too much to really think about it. She needed water and a hot, cleansing shower.  
  
With another groan and taking what little energy she had, she moved toward the bathroom. She paused at the door and glanced at the bed, finding Alex still face down and snoring softly. Lucky for him to be able to sleep through the ringing.  
  
Benny frowned and stepped into the bathroom, braving the glaring fluorescent light she flicked on upon entering. She stopped at the sink and reached to turn the water on. Without letting it heat up, she bent down and threw the cold water across her face, cupping her hand and drinking some of it. She didn’t want to mess with the glasses on the other side of the vanity at the moment, especially when something odd caught her eye. It was sparkly in the mirror, and looked strangely like a…   
  
Benny stopped her movements and turned her hand over, not fully comprehending what she was seeing. Her brain was not yet firing on all cylinders, but as the realization of what this meant dawned on her, she felt her stomach begin to plummet to the ground and her heart beat rapidly in her chest. She couldn’t breathe.  
  
“Oh my god,” she said, rubbing her eyes. Anything to make this disappear. Anything. But when she looked back at her left ring finger, it was still there as sparkly and real as ever. And then she remembered what Joie had said in parting. Benny could not contain the loud “FUCK” that escaped her lips.   
  
What the _fuck_ did she do now? Just as everything was going right, she had to go and fuck up everything good about it. She had to be an idiot once again. Who knew what this would do to her relationship with Alex. Stronger relationships had gone down in more magnificent flames after a mistake like this. God, how _could_ she be so stupid this many times in her life?!  
  
And the hell would Alex say and do?   
  
She left the bathroom and walked to the curtains, opening them wide, bathing the room in bright yellow sunlight. It hurt her eyes and intensified the headache, but it wasn’t important right at the moment. Right now she had to alert Alex to this mess.  
  
Alex groaned lowly and she turned to find that he was partially awake and pulling a pillow over his head.  
  
“You need to get up, Alex,” she said.  
  
“Close the curtains,” he mumbled.  
  
Benny frowned and walked over to him, pulling the pillow off his face. “No.”  
  
“What is your problem? Wake up on the wrong side of the bed?” he questioned, his eyes small slits.  
  
Benny huffed and stuck her hand in his face. He blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. Then, as a reflexive reaction, he lifted his own hand. Benny felt sick seeing the men’s platinum band adorned with tiny diamonds.  
  
He sat up at that, looking between both their hands, then up at her. The look in his eyes was one of terror, confusion and worry. Benny couldn’t help the hurt that passed through her at seeing that look in his eyes. She didn’t know what else she had expected to see there, but she guessed she must have hoped she would see love—or something like it—in his eyes. Maybe something more akin to a happy regret. Something that did not make her feel horrible. Clearly, he didn’t like the idea of this predicament.  
  
But she couldn’t really blame him. She had those same feelings she had seen in his eyes when she had first noticed her own ring.  
  
What worried her the most, though, was that he said nothing. He moved to the edge of the bed and left her, going to the bathroom and shutting the door. The sinking feeling within her was vicious, and she had to sit down on the bed to keep from being ill. Tears stung at the back of her eyes, and she didn’t know why.  
  
They had only been together for a week and a half. Why should she even care if he was acting like this, over a situation as they currently found themselves in? He didn’t love her. She didn’t love him.  
  
But as she felt the tears spill over, she knew that wasn’t the truth. Yes, it had only been a week and a half, but as she sat here listening to the silence of the room, Alex locked away into the bathroom, she could not ignore the overwhelming feeling of pain in her body—pain that had nothing to do with a hangover.   
  
Without her knowing it, and certainly against her own will, she had given her heart to the man who obviously did not feel the same way about her. She had done everything in her power to keep from this entanglement. And yet here she was, utterly sick from the fact that she had once again given herself to someone who just did not care.  
  
Benny brushed at her tears and looked around the room again. She needed to get out of here. Quickly, Benny grabbed her shoes and purse, remembering the papers had fallen from it. She unfolded them and read the title. Marriage license. And it was signed by both of them. So it really happened. They really were married.  
  
She choked a sob back and set the papers down on the table. He would need them when he contacted his lawyers. Gathering her things again, she moved toward the door out in the living room, and left. She could not bear to see him when he emerged from the bathroom. If he emerged from the bathroom any time soon.  
  
Benny hit the button on the elevator and waited with a tapping foot. The doors peeled back, and she was thankful no one else was inside. She wasn’t sure she could take that right about now. Benny stepped into the elevator and chose her floor, the soft whooshing sound of the doors closing a remarkably large contrast to how loudly her heart was breaking.  
  
\---  
  
Alexander poked his head out of the bathroom, having heard the door close. “Benny?” he asked the room softly. There was no response.  
  
He frowned and left the bathroom, walking through his suite. All traces of her were gone. As he came out onto the main room, he saw the papers on the table. He stopped and picked them, allowing himself to read over the words. His mouth went dry and his stomach quavered again.  
  
Fuck. So it was true. They’d actually signed it.  
  
Alex sat down at the table, feeling the need to put his head between his legs. He had sobered so fast this morning by unloading his stomach in the toilet that he had forgotten that he still had the pounding headache from his hangover.  
  
This was why he didn’t drink. Every time he drank something, he ended up in situations like this: jail, in some stranger’s house… or married in Las Vegas. How could he possibly have let himself get so inebriated that he had allowed this to happen? He couldn’t believe no one had tried to stop him.  
  
But then, he didn’t know if he would have stopped anyway. Though it would have been foolhardy and impetuous to marry someone after being with her for such a short amount of time, who was saying he didn’t want it? Certainly, he had thought about what marriage would be like were he and Benny to work out in the end. In his heart of hearts he had truly hoped that he might get that chance eventually with her.  
  
It didn’t look that way now. Now it appeared that Benny had officially been scared away. And who could blame her? She barely knew him, just as he barely knew her. The look in her eyes when he had looked up at her had been unreadable, but he got the very distinct feeling she was beyond angry. He had planned to take things slowly with this woman because she had asked him to, but now he couldn’t. She had been hurt before, and needed the time. Fine, he had planned to give her and her heart time to get used to him.   
  
Now he couldn’t have the chance. Now he had done something stupid, and married her while so completely drunk he couldn’t even remember what wedding chapel or vows he had said to her.  
  
The fact that she had left as she had told him she was done.  
  
A knock sounded at the door, and he jumped up instantly. Could it be her? Had she come back? He opened the door to find Joie there with Sam walking away.  
  
“Where the hell is she?” Joie asked. “I told her to call down to the desk and have them leave a key for me so I could come bring her clothes. Luckily I found Sam who brought me up with his key card.”  
  
Alex frowned and shrugged. “She’s not here… she… left.”  
  
“Left where?” Joie said, pushing into the room and looking around.  
  
“I don’t know. Probably your room,” he said. “You didn’t see her?”  
  
“This is a big hotel, Alex. We probably missed each other in different elevators,” she said and sighed heavily. “Why did she leave? Did you two get into a fight?”  
  
Alex shook his head. “No, not at all. I didn’t even have a chance to say anything. I had to go puke.”  
  
“Nice,” she said, a look of sour distaste on her face. “So I imagine you two found out what happened last night.”  
  
Alex groaned and moved away from the door. He walked into the room and went back to sit down. Joie moved into the room and put her hand on her hip.  
  
“Why aren’t you going after her?” Joie asked.  
  
“Because she obviously doesn’t want to see my face,” Alex said, resting his face in his hands.  
  
Joie frowned. “Who said that? Are you sure you didn’t get into a fight?”  
  
“Joie, I appreciate your protectiveness where she is concerned, but no, we had no fight. I said absolutely nothing to her and ran to the bathroom to empty the contents of my stomach into the toilet,” he replied. “When did I have tequila? I never have tequila. It fucks me up.”  
  
“I’m impressed you could pick out just _one_ liquor from the amount you drank last night,” she said. “But at least you have that in common with Benny. As soon as you drink tequila, you’re done for.”  
  
He grimaced. “And speaking of which, if you were there, and saw everything, why the hell didn’t you stop us?”  
  
“Because you seemed pretty intent on drinking,” Joie said. “You’re a big boy. I shouldn’t have to babysit you.”  
  
“Not that. Why didn’t you stop us from getting married?” he asked seriously.  
  
Joie scoffed, and something passed in her eyes, but Alex was still too hung over to process what the look meant. All he knew was that it seemed slightly confused. “Married? Oh—right! Once again, I maintain you’re both grownups and can do what you want. It is not my problem to deal with.”  
  
“You’re not really looking out for the interests of your best friend,” Alex said.  
  
“What if I was? What if I thought letting her do this was a good idea?” Joie said and sighed. “Alex, I have known her since we played in the rice bin at school. She may as well have been my biological sister… I know that in all those years, _you_ are the best thing that has ever happened to her. Yeah, it’s been a week and some change, but I can’t deny the change I have seen in her with you around. Excuse me for hoping that a stupid thing like this might make it a little more permanent.”  
  
Alex sighed. “But not while inebriated.”  
  
Joie huffed. “I don’t care how inebriated you were. You didn’t do it because the alcohol told you to do it. You did it because you wanted to do it, and would have done it already, if you didn’t subscribe to society’s rules and think you had to wait. I can see it in your eyes. You’re not nearly as torn up about this as you would be if you’d been coerced into it. All the alcohol did was reduce your inhibitions and make you both realize what you wanted. That’s it.”  
  
He ran his hand through his messy hair and shook his head.  
  
“I can’t be tied down right now,” Alex said. “Not like this. Not with everything that’s starting to happen for me.”  
  
Joie looked enraged at that. “So you’re going to do exactly what JC did, huh? She doesn’t fit into your life right now, so you’re just going to throw it all away? Well, I can finally see that she’s right about actors. You never _really_ know about them. Thank you, Alex, for allowing me to see that before _I_ get married to one next month.”  
  
She walked to the door and pulled it back harshly. Before Alex could stop himself, he was at the door, stopping her with a hand on her arm. “Joie, don’t. I didn’t mean it like that… it’s just… oh, God, I don’t even know what I mean.”  
  
Joie stopped and looked up at him. “You better get a clue, fast. You’re not welcome in our house until you do.”  
  
“Joie…” he said.  
  
“No, it’s my house, too. I pay half the bills,” she replied. “I am putting my foot down. If you ever want to have sex with her or see her outside of work, you’ll figure out what you _do_ mean.”  
  
Alex sighed. “I don’t have time to talk to her. I’m going to Sweden in like three hours. I need to check out and head to the airport.”  
  
“Well, talk to her when you get back,” Joie said.  
  
“That’s an entire month. I don’t get back until the day before the season premiere,” he said.  
  
Joie shrugged. “That isn’t my problem. Right now, my problem is helping my friend. Goodbye, Alex.”  
  
With that, Joie left down the hallway and disappeared around the corner to go to the elevators. Alex watched her for a moment, stepped back inside his room and shut the door, hitting his fist against it.   
  
What the fuck was he going to do?


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11  
  
Benny started awake, just as her dream orgasm began to mount. She lay back on the bed, her heart beat slowly returning to normal as did her breathing; the feeling of his dream hands on her body, worshiping her made her tingle still. Tossing the covers back to cool down and get rid of the fine sheen of sweat only did so much. She ached for him. For his touch. For him to make her feel like he had those few times they had actually been together.  
  
But she knew she would not have him. She could not have him. Not after what had happened in Vegas. Even if she had wanted to forget about what he had done that morning, she would never be able to. Never would she be able to repair the rip in her heart, one that had not yet been completely mended from Harry’s father.  
  
It wasn’t even as if she could blame him for it, either. This time, it had taken two to tango. Sure, she may have been completely in love with the man, but after a week and a half, how could she think he would feel the same way? He had never once said anything to that affect. He had only said he wanted to see where it went. He had said he was interested in her. Love or anything resembling the emotion never came into play.   
  
All this was her getting her hopes again and having them dashed.  
  
Yet, he _had_ said that he would not hurt her like JC. And that was exactly what he had done, with the look on his face and disappearing into the bathroom without saying anything to her. He had not called her in three weeks. Obviously, he did not care for her as she had thought. He said she was special, different even, to him, but he had done everything contrary to showing her that in Vegas.   
  
She knew she should forget about it. It was a week and a half. It wasn’t as though they were…  
  
No, no, they _were_ married.  
  
Benny groaned and looked at the alarm clock by her bed. Five in the morning. It wasn’t even worth trying to go back to sleep when Harry would be up in an hour anyway. She got out of bed and left her room, heading into her workroom.  
  
At least she had been productive since she had come back from Las Vegas. To keep herself from thinking about him, she was able to dedicate herself to her work. She had gotten all the graduation dresses done for her cousin and friends. The theater production costumes were coming along. And Joie had finally decided on the exact shade and design of her wedding gown. However, the last item was, admittedly, difficult to work on without thinking about her marriage problems.  
  
Benny sat at her work table and pulled out her sketch book, flipping through it absently. There were so many things in here she wanted to make, but never found the time. Many were current day fashions, but a majority of the costumes were historically based. She knew she could open up a shop at renaissance faires and make more money that way, because her parents were well entrenched and wealthy enough from their own business ventures in that arena. But she found she actually liked what she was doing. And if Alan really lived up to his word from the party in Vegas, she could have an extremely lucrative career starting.  
  
“Benny? What are you doing up?”  
  
She looked toward the door to find Joie with wild hair and half-closed eyes. “Did I bother you?”  
  
“No,” she said with a yawn.  
  
Benny sighed and turned back to her sketch book. “I had a dream and it wasn’t worth it going back to sleep to about it some more.”  
  
Joie frowned and trudged into the room, dropping onto the cushioned ottoman. “Girl, just forget about him. He’s not worth it.”  
  
“But what if he was?” she asked. “What if he was the one and a stupid mistake I made ended it all?”  
  
“If he was the one, he’d have called you by now and tried to figure this all out,” Joie said.  
  
Benny felt tears stinging her eyes. “I know… but… he was just… I’ve never felt those things with someone else.”  
  
“Maybe it was just because it had been so long you forgot?” she asked.  
  
“No. It can’t be that. I know I never felt that way with my past boyfriends, especially JC,” she said. “Joie, have you ever known me to do something like find a dark corner in a club and fuck my boyfriend?”  
  
Joie sighed. “No, I’d never seen you like you acted with him. I’ve never seen you as happy as you were those few days. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t someone else out there that won’t make you even happier.”  
  
Benny frowned and shook her head. “But what if there isn’t?”  
  
“What are you saying?” Joie said.  
  
“I don’t know what I’m saying,” Benny replied. “He just... God, I don’t even know if he was lying to me the whole time. If he was and made me feel those things after I swore off any of those emotions, then he deserves a fucking Oscar. The man is a wonderful actor.”  
  
Joie nodded. “Are you saying you think he was The One?”  
  
“No!” Benny felt defensive, but as silence fell between them, and she thought about it, she just could not deny the fact that maybe she had thought he might be The One. “I fell in love with him too fast. Love isn’t like that.”  
  
Joie smiled for the first time since sitting down. “Baby girl, if you love someone, you know right off the bat. You get that feeling in the pit of your stomach. You act crazy. You sneak into dark corners and screw him senseless.”  
  
“So you think he may have been more, too?” Benny asked. “I thought after the argument you had with him, you were against him.”  
  
“I’m not against him. I think he just needs to sort through his problems,” Joie said. “He’s obviously got some issues he has to deal with, too, that he’s pushed aside because you were more important to impress and woo at the moment. What I saw in his interactions with you was a man who genuinely cared for you. He’s just confused.”  
  
“Why are you telling me this now?” Benny asked.  
  
Joie yawned. “Because I’m sick and tired of watching you beat yourself up over this. You may love each other already, but if he’s too stupid to see it, then you don’t need him in your life. Harry doesn’t need him, either. You need someone who’s completely there and not second guessing everything.”  
  
Benny nodded her head and rested it down on her folded arms on the table, feeling the tears begin to roll down her cheeks. “Whatever. He doesn’t care anyway. He would have called if I meant that much to him.”  
  
“True,” Joie said and got up. Her friend walked to her and pulled her up from her seat. She hugged her. “Benny, if he’s stupid enough to not work his problems out, he’s not worth crying over.”  
  
“I know,” Benny said. “I didn’t want to ever feel like this again. I knew I shouldn’t have gotten into this.”  
  
Joie brushed her tears away. “I love you, if it’s any consolation.”  
  
“I know you do,” Benny replied and giggled through her tears. “But you don’t do anything for me sexually.”  
  
Joie laughed, pulling away and smacking her. “Thank _god_ for that! And if you’re just looking for sex, I can find half a dozen men who would do the job well. Half of them on the True Blood set.”  
  
Benny chuckled and pulled away from Joie, reaching for a tissue from the box on her work table. “Okay, I’m better now. You can go.”  
  
“Good. No crying on my dress,” she said. “Charmeuse water-stains like a bitch.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah,” Benny said. “Go on your run.”  
  
Joie smiled. “Later.”  
  
She left the room and Benny sat still, staring at the pale pink gown. Benny had always dreamed of a big white wedding with all of her family and friends there to a man she loved desperately. But now she’d gone and got married and she couldn’t even remember it. God, she _was_ , in fact, a screw up.  
  
Benny grabbed pieces of fabric and walked over to the sewing machine to get to work. She would just live vicariously through Joie’s pink wedding.  
  
\---  
  
“Are you going to tell me what’s been eating away at you this entire trip?”   
  
Alexander looked up from his laptop to find his father walking by the kitchen table. He knew his father would ask him eventually, even though he knew he probably should have told him at the very beginning of the trip what had happened. He just didn’t want to have to face what his father would say to him. Lord knew it wasn’t going to be good.  
  
“With that look, I know something’s up. You’re not going to get out of it now,” his father replied.  
  
“I did something I shouldn’t have,” he replied.   
  
Stellan snorted and pulled a seat out at the table. He lowered his tall frame into it and looked at him. “You didn’t kill anyone, did you?”  
  
“What? No!” Alexander replied, completely taken aback by his father’s mood. It seemed since his marriage and the birth of Ossian, things with his father had lightened up. He’d always been an exceptionally serious man who was prone to fits of depression, but now he was lighthearted and even fun to spend time with. He knew a lot of it was Megan’s influence, but Alexander also imagined it had something to do with being older and seeing his father in a different light. No matter what, though, he loved his father.  
  
He sighed and reached into his pocket, finding the small plastic horse that Harrison had given to him. Alexander smiled softly and removed his hand, placing it back on the table.  
  
“Then what?” he asked. “Nothing can be as horrible as that.”  
  
“When I was in Las Vegas,” he said, stopping for a moment and meeting his father’s eyes. “When I was there, I got married.”  
  
Alexander knew his father and if the announcement had not bothered him, he would have come back quickly with a response. When he remained silent, clearly stunned, and tried to come up with something to say, then Alexander knew he was in for it. It was like that time he’d been put in jail for disorderly conduct. His father had said one sentence to him and even then, it was severe.  
  
“You got _married_ ,” Stellan said, stretching the word, saying it as though he had a bitter taste in his mouth.  
  
“Yes, Dad,” he said.  
  
“To who?” Stellan questioned.  
  
Alexander sighed. “You know that girl I told you about the last time we talked before I flew out?”  
  
“Is she pregnant?” Stellan asked.  
  
“No! Of course not,” Alexander said. But now that he thought on it, they had had an awful lot of sex without protection. Well, at least Benny had sworn she had the birth control shot.  
  
Stellan let out a breath. “Alexander, you’re an idiot. You got married?! To some random girl we have never met.”  
  
“I hardly think the woman I marry is your choice, anyway,” Alexander said.  
  
“Do you love her?” Stellan asked.  
  
Alexander shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve not felt this way about anyone. But it had only been a week and a half when we got married. I just don’t know…”  
  
“She could be anybody, Alexander. She could be out for your money. For fame. And you got married with no legal protection should it not work…” he started. “Why do you think she married you so soon?”  
  
“Because we were blazingly drunk when we did,” Alexander said.  
  
“How do you know? Maybe she tricked you into it,” he said.  
  
Alexander scoffed. “Dad! Benny isn’t like that. I’m probably the _last_ type of person she ever wanted to marry. Trust me.”  
  
“It could all be lies,” Stellan said. “I just can’t believe you let this happen. With this huge contract negotiation for you… do you know what this type of press could do?”  
  
“I didn’t think you cared about the press,” Alexander reminded.  
  
“You know as well as I do that the type of career you want in this industry requires good press,” Stellan said. “If you get a divorce after a marriage that lasted a month… how is that going to look?”  
  
“Will anyone care?”   
  
“Your Swedish fans will,” he said. “We don’t do shit like that here.”  
  
“No, Dad, we only stay married to a woman for more than thirty years in a miserable marriage, have six children, remain miserable, get divorced _and_ then marry a woman your eldest son’s age,” Alexander said, growing just as angry as his father. He closed his laptop and gathered his things.  
  
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked.  
  
Alexander scoffed. “I’m going to Mom’s.”  
  
“Running to her isn’t going to solve your problem,” Stellan said, following him to the door.  
  
“Arguing with you isn’t going to solve my problem either, Dad,” he replied. “I don’t know what I feel for Benny. I’m pretty sure I love her. But it’s just all fucked up. I never meant for this to happen, but now that it has, I don’t know if I want to do the logical thing and get a divorce or an annulment. Why would I if I truly love her? My problem is that I’ve not figured out my own feelings yet. I’ve been through so much fucking shit in my life, and I’m so warped about love, because of this family, that I just don’t trust my judgment anymore.”  
  
“Don’t blame me for your mistake, Alexander,” Stellan said.  
  
Alexander shook his head. “I’m not blaming you for that. I’m blaming you for making me neurotic about actually falling in love with someone. Thank you, Dad.”  
  
He left his father’s home with a slam of the door, angry at how his father had taken it. It wasn’t the end of the world. It could be dealt with and not blow up. What he had wanted was someone to explain his own feelings to him, because he couldn’t do it. But as he walked toward his car and sped off, he knew he was the only one who could make this decision for himself.   
  
He knew what his heart told him, but his head was telling him something completely different. His heart told him to not get divorced, call Benny, and take it from where they had left off. He truly and frighteningly loved the woman. His head, on the other hand, couldn’t believe he had been so stupid, nor did it think he could take that sort of responsibility on right now in his career.   
  
But what Stephen had said before all this happened rang in his ears. There was no “good” time for something like this. And he _was_ just using it as an excuse to protect himself from his past. He needed to finally level with his past and the psychological injuries it had caused him so he could make this work because he honestly had never felt this way about another person before.  
  
More than once, he had considered what it would be like to settle down with Benny. Why couldn’t he just do it now? Was it because his version of settling down never involved marriage? Because he was afraid of the institution for marriage? It was just a word. Why should he think it so horrible?  
  
His phone started ringing as he pulled to a stop outside his mother’s home. He picked it up and looked at the caller ID. It wasn’t a number he knew, but it was a California area code. Benny’s California area code.  
  
“Hello?” he asked.  
  
“It’s Joie,” said the voice.  
  
“Uh, hi…” he began.  
  
Joie sighed. “Okay, buster, this is how it’s going to go.”  
  
“How’s what going to go?” he asked.  
  
“You are coming to my wedding,” she said. “I’m sick and tired of seeing my best friend mope around.”  
  
Alexander felt… relieved. Yes, that was the right emotion. Apparently though Benny had not called him since waking up in Vegas, she did have feelings for him. “She’s moping?”  
  
“What do you expect, Alex?” she asked. “She loves you. I don’t even care that it’s been a week and a half. She does. I can see it in her eyes and hear it in her voice when she talks about you.”  
  
“Really?” he asked.  
  
“Ugh! I don’t have time for this. I have a last minute meeting with the florist,” she said. “This number I called you from? Yeah, text me your email address and I’m sending you the information for the wedding.”  
  
“This isn’t going to work if we aren’t speaking to each other,” Alexander said.  
  
Joie huffed. “Then you better fucking get over whatever your problem is and talk to her. She’s waiting for you to call her.”  
  
“It’s a two way street,” he said.  
  
“Not when she thinks your actions were to do with you not caring for her like she cared for you, you idiot,” Joie said. “The ball is in your court. Sheez… do I have to play relationship counselor for everyone?”  
  
Alexander appreciated Joie’s forwardness though he was certain others did not. “I will.”  
  
“Good,” Joie said. “Okay, I’m going to my meeting. Text me.”  
  
“Yes, mistress,” he responded.  
  
“And don’t you fucking forget that,” she said and hung up her end of the conversation.  
  
Alexander pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at it for a moment. Benny loved him? Could it be true? Would she ever admit it to herself? He shook his head and typed in his text with his email address to Joie.  
  
Apparently he was going to Joie’s wedding whether he was prepared to face Benny again or not. Unfortunately for him, he hated being unprepared. He had to face this sooner rather than later. And he still had no clue about what he was going to do.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12  
  
Benny sighed as she worked the needle in and out of the expensive silk charmeuse fabric of Joie’s reception dress. Somehow in the last two weeks, the dress order had gone from just one overly huge and intricate ball gown wedding dress to a second, sleeker gown for the reception. Now, she wasn’t against the second look, she just wished she had more time. Because of the people both Joie and Josh knew in the industry that would be there, Benny knew she needed to make a splash… anything that might recommend her to others looking for garments for public appearances.   
  
As a self employed fashion designer, she was in a constant state of advertisement. If she could get a dress on someone like Evangeline for some premiere or awards show, she’d be set.  
  
She was just glad she hadn’t needed to worry about Josh’s and his groomsmen’s tuxedos. Burberry took care of those. Neither had she been responsible for her own maid of honor gown and the other bridesmaids. Joie’s stylist’s relationship with Monique Lhullier took care of that.  
  
At least she had found a moment to put the finishing touches on both those dresses while Joie ran over to the resort where there had been a minor meltdown setting up for the rehearsal dinner. Their house had been Grand Central Station for the last week with everything going on, especially with Joie moving all of her stuff out of the house, and it had been difficult to find time to think or work on the dresses.  
  
It was going to be weird to not have Joie around the house. Well, of course she would be around and probably spending time with her most nights during the week when Josh was away filming, but they wouldn’t see each other all the time as they had in the past. The realization that she was losing yet another positive part of her life hurt her deeply, and yet she knew she couldn’t keep her friend from this. Josh was perfect for Joie, and Benny loved him.  
  
This was just too much emotional battery crammed in together, what with her problem with Alex and all.  
  
“Benny!” she heard the call from the front of the house. Harrison screamed at the top his lungs and ran from the room, leaving his toys scattered in her workroom.  
  
“Poppy!” Harrison squealed and Benny knew her father was picking him up and hugging him. Since she had been home for the entire month, he had not seen his grandparents during the week.   
  
“Back here, Dad!” she yelled, hearing her father make his way down the hall with Harrison in tow combined with the rustle of paper bags. Harrison ran to his toys and began playing with them again.  
  
Her father appeared in the doorway and held up the bag and Coke in his hand. “I come bearing food.”  
  
“I love you,” she said, sticking her needle into the dress form and getting up from the seat.  
  
“Well, you know, that’s a good thing,” he said with a smirk. “I’ve worked very hard on being a decent father these last thirty years to make sure we have a good relationship, only to now know all I had to do was bring you fast food while you were busy working.”  
  
Benny playfully smacked his shoulder and stood on her toes to kiss his cheek. “Thank you, Daddy.”  
  
He smiled. “Joie said you hadn’t left the workroom the past three days. Your mom told me to come check up on you.”  
  
“Why? I’m fine,” she said.  
  
“We know how you get, baby, in these designing fugues that you don’t come out of,” he said.  
  
Benny sighed, grabbing the food and sitting at her work bench. “Where is Mom? She’s supposed to be here in an hour to go to the salon.”  
  
“She went to the hotel to check into our room for the weekend,” he replied. “She’ll be here in a bit. Are you going to be ready to go?”  
  
She glanced at the dress. “The dresses are as done as I can get them except for final alterations tomorrow. Do they look okay?”  
  
“From my expert opinion,” he said with a laugh, “they are perfection and will look amazing on Joie.”  
  
“Thanks, I knew you would say that,” she said.  
  
“Well, you know me. _Totally_ into fashion,” he said, motioning to his sweat-stained Budweiser t-shirt, dirty jeans and steel-toed work boots. Obviously, he had gone straight from working on the horses to the car to bring her food. “But honestly, baby, they look amazing. I’d buy them… if I were a hundred pounds soaking wet, had Joie’s figure and liked the color pink.”  
  
“Thanks, Dad,” she said and sighed, looking over them again.  
  
He smiled and sat on the ottoman. Harrison left his toys and crawled up into his lap, resting his head on his grandfather’s shoulder. “I think someone’s ready for a nap.”  
  
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay getting him ready and to the hotel for the rehearsal?” she asked.  
  
“We’ll be fine,” he rolled his eyes.   
  
“Dad, you can barely dress yourself and comb your hair in the mornings,” Benny said through a mouthful of tacos.  
  
He scoffed. “Trust me.”  
  
She chuckled and sipped her drink. “Okay.”  
  
“Is Alex coming?” he asked, wrapping his arms around Harrison, rocking slightly. The boy’s eyelids drooped.  
  
Benny frowned and stuffed the rest of her taco into her mouth.  
  
He raised a brow at her. “Honeymoon over?”  
  
Had she not been in mid swallow, she may not have choked on the sharp piece of crunchy shell at his choice of words. Benny reached for her drink, coughing harshly. “What?”  
  
“You know… the first few weeks of a relationship… the honeymoon. Is it over?” he asked.  
  
Benny shrugged. “Don’t sound so freaking happy about it.”  
  
She knew she should probably tell her family what had happened in Las Vegas, because they would hear about it soon enough, but she wasn’t ready yet. She would deal with that _after_ all this wedding hoopla died down.  
  
“I’m not ‘happy’ per say,” he said. “I’m more relieved.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Because I don’t want to see you hurt again,” he said.  
  
Benny sighed. “You can’t protect me forever. All I need you to do is tell me if they’re idiots.”  
  
“Well, if Alex makes you look that pained, then he’s an idiot,” he said.  
  
“He doesn’t,” Benny said. “This is all me being conflicted.”  
  
“I’m here to talk,” he said.  
  
Benny shook her head. “I’m not talking to you about it yet. I can’t. I’ve not even completely formulated my own thoughts on the matter.”  
  
“Well, when you’re ready, you know where I am,” he said. “I’m going to go put this one down for his nap.”  
  
“Okay,” Benny said, watching her father go. She sighed and turned back to her food.   
  
\---  
  
Alexander sat silently in his seat as Joie drove him through the busy Los Angeles traffic. She had not spoken two words to him since they had met at baggage claim, for which he was partially relieved, but also was making him pretty anxious. He wanted her to say something to let him know that he was out of the doghouse, at least with her. However, having the silence, allowed him to continue formulating exactly what he would say to Benny when he saw her again.  
  
He still didn’t know why he hadn’t called her, but it seemed more romantic to show up and profess his love to her. Which was exactly what he was planning on doing, even if she ended up laughing in his face before telling him to stick it where the sun didn’t shine. After his argument with his father and a conversation with his mother—during which his mother cried and kissed his forehead and muttered about her baby being a man—he realized without a doubt that he was in love.   
  
Now he just had to make Benny understand that it scared the shit out of him, and if she wanted to stay together and not go forward with an annulment, he would be there. However, he would need to take things slowly.  
  
He sighed and shifted in his seat, looking out the window.  
  
“I guess I should probably thank you for coming,” she said.  
  
“Thank you for inviting me,” he replied. “Even though I had to completely rearrange my shooting schedule to get out here three days early.”  
  
Joie snorted. “Yeah, well, if I didn’t make you come, you’d never face your freaking problems, would you?”  
  
“No,” he said.  
  
“The rehearsal is at six in the garden,” she said. “And then the rehearsal dinner is in the second garden at eight. Please arrive for dinner, as I cannot deal with so much attention being paid to the meltdown that is sure to occur with Benny and yourself during the rehearsal. People need to know where and what they’re doing tomorrow. That isn’t to say you can’t find her before the ceremony. She’s staying at the hotel for the weekend because of the package.”  
  
“Okay,” he said.  
  
“Josh and I are leaving tomorrow night for our honeymoon,” she said, “and the package came with the honeymoon suite. I gave it to Benny.”  
  
“You’ve already told her about the honeymoon suite?” he asked.  
  
Joie smiled evilly. “I did and she freaked out. Anything to do with weddings or honeymoons she’s avoiding like the plague. It was so nice to watch her squirm as I told her she had to take it.”  
  
“I don’t know why you’re friends,” he said.  
  
“We’re friends because I do shit like this,” she said, motioning to him. “I make sure she’s happy. She makes sure I’m happy. It works.”  
  
Alexander sighed and fiddled with the ring on his ring finger. Joie glanced at his actions and smiled. “I’m not used to it.”  
  
She nodded her head. “You will get used to it.”  
  
He grimaced. “So she’s at the hotel now?”  
  
“She should be there now,” Joie said. “She had an appointment at the salon and was then going to the hotel to check in. She’s probably still nitpicking over the dresses.”  
  
“Probably,” he said.  
  
“So I suggest you go take a nap, because you look like shit,” Joie said. “And then come down for dinner at eight.”  
  
Alexander sighed. “I’ve got some people who I want to introduce you to someday, Joie.”  
  
“Oh yeah? Who?” she asked.  
  
“The Marines I met on Gen Kill,” he said. “You’d give them a run for their money on bossing people around.”  
  
Joie laughed. “I would _love_ to work out with Rudy. If you can make him my torture dude, I’d be in your debt.”  
  
“Torture dude?” he asked.  
  
“Trainer.”  
  
He chuckled at that. “How’s Josh going to take that?”  
  
“It’s okay, he gets to make out and have simulated sex with beautiful actresses,” she replied. “It all evens out in my books.”  
  
“But you’re beautiful,” he said.  
  
Joie grinned. “You are a charmer, I’ll give you that.”  
  
“And I can guarantee you he’s thinking about nothing other than you when he’s with those other actresses,” he replied.  
  
“I doubt that sometimes,” Joie said. “Everyone has fantasies. If Josh lands a role with Megan Fox or someone, I guarantee you, he will not be thinking about me while he’s filming that. Hell, if _I_ landed a role with Megan, I’d not be thinking about him.”  
  
Alexander pursed his lips and frowned. Funny that he’d been completely naked filming his love scenes with Anna and he hadn’t thought of anything other than Benny. And he hadn’t even been in a relationship with her at that time.  
  
“You’re okay with that?” he asked.  
  
She shrugged. “It’s one of the downsides of this life. I trust him to not take it past the set, but it’s always there. I’m sure you know how it goes. You’ve been in the business awhile. And I mean, if he does find someone else on set and does something, I trust that he would tell me about it.”  
  
“I wouldn’t be able to do it,” he said.  
  
“Yet you’re asking Benny to trust you,” she said.  
  
He opened his mouth to say something, but closed his lips. All of it suddenly hit home. He had understood it before when he and Benny had first started going out, but with this conversation, he realized how much it took for Benny to truly trust him. And just when he had received that trust, he’d been an idiot and run away because the feelings scared him.  
  
Oh, he deserved anything she said to him.  
  
“I don’t ever want to hurt Benny like that, Joie,” he said. “I just wouldn’t be able to look at myself in the mirror if I let something like that happen… and yet, I don’t trust myself. I’ve seen too many people in my life fall off their pedestal because they made a stupid decision.”  
  
Joie smiled softly and reached over, placing a hand on his arm. “Alex, you have to learn to trust yourself if this is going to work. Benny is ready to trust you, you just have to accept it. You need to make sure you love her enough that you trusting yourself won’t matter, because all you can think about it her.”  
  
“You’re right,” he said.  
  
“I know,” she chuckled.  
  
Alexander sighed. “I think I do love her enough… but I just don’t know.”  
  
“Well, that’s a start,” she said. “A very good one.”  
  
\---  
  
Benny yawned into her hand, knowing that the second glass of wine she was drinking was not helping her stay awake, but she was required to be here as Joie’s chief attendant. Even though Joie seemed completely preoccupied all through the rehearsal and now every once and awhile would glance toward the two French doors that opened up from the hotel onto their tented dinner party. It made her worry that Joie could possibly be considering not going through with this wedding the following day, and she supposed, that as it was her job as maid of honor, she had to make certain her friend was okay.  
  
So when she finally had a break schmoozing with the guests who had come to this dinner, Benny came up beside her, placing an arm around her waist.  
  
Joie turned to look at her and smiled. “What’s up, sister?”  
  
“Well, I was just wondering if everything’s okay,” Benny said. “You’ve been eyeing the exit a lot since cocktail hour started.”  
  
“What? Oh, of course everything’s fine,” Joie said. “I’m just being neurotic and making sure all the guests are accounted for. Naveen hasn’t shown up yet.”  
  
Benny smiled. “I’m sure that he’ll be here. If he had a flight from England before this, he’s probably sleeping it off.”  
  
Joie nodded. “You’re right. I just want everything to be perfect for tomorrow.”  
  
“It will be,” she said. “You’ll be beautiful and Josh will be handsome and everyone will be happy. You know, Dad’s really excited about walking you down the aisle. I think he’s pretty sure I’m never going to get married, so at least he has someone to dote on, even if he is a pseudo father-of-the-bride.”  
  
“You _are_ married, though,” Joie reminded.  
  
“Yes, but I’ll never have a wedding,” Benny said.  
  
She smiled. “Never say never, honey.”  
  
Benny tried to smile but she just did not feel happy about that thought. No one was ever going to compare to Alexander Skarsgard. She wondered idly if he knew he had wrecked any chance another man may have had at her heart. Did he know? Did he do it on purpose?  
  
Benny sighed and looked around. “Have you seen Harry?”  
  
“He’s with Dom,” Joie pointed to the man and Harrison.  
  
“Oh god,” Benny said. “I thought Lord of the Rings would be completely over his head. But he remembers Dom.”  
  
Joie laughed. “And Dom just _loves_ it when Harry calls him ‘Hobbit’ instead of Dominic. That’s why we let Harry pester him. Because it’s hilarious. And Josh loves to harass him, too.”  
  
Benny saw Evangeline laughing loudly at Harrison, too. “He just makes friends wherever he goes, doesn’t he?”  
  
“He’s an outgoing, precocious kid,” Joie said.  
  
“Like his father,” Benny frowned.  
  
“Oh, don’t start that tonight,” Joie warned.  
  
Benny nodded. “Of course not. So, Future Mrs. Holloway, is it time for di—.”  
  
But she was just off by her child’s voice screaming at the top of his lungs, “Awex!”  
  
There was a commotion and then a squeal of delight as Benny froze in her spot, not able to turn around. Fuck. This was just bloody great. How had he known about all this? Wasn’t he supposed to be in Sweden until Monday anyway? She felt the welling of emotion in her, tears suddenly biting at her eyes. People were whispering and murmuring, turning to look at the new arrival. Obviously, no one understood how the man was connected to Joie and why exactly he would be at the rehearsal dinner.  
  
But then realization dawned and she looked at Joie. “When you get back from your honeymoon, you’re dead.”  
  
“No I’m not,” she replied. “You’re going to thank me when this is all over.”  
  
“Heh,” Benny frowned.  
  
Joie rolled her eyes. “What do you want? He’s here to see you. I didn’t twist his arm to be here.”  
  
“I don’t want to ruin my weekend by having to worry about Alex,” Benny said, “and the annulment.”  
  
“Who said he wanted an annulment?” Joie asked, raising a brow.  
  
“What?” Benny asked. “I don’t understand.”  
  
Joie merely looked at her and smiled. “I think you can divine what I mean if you stopped for one moment and thought about it.”  
  
Benny huffed and turned around to find Alexander looking as handsome as ever in his grey suit, parting a path through the people just by his sheer presence. Women and even some men were sending him looks of lust, and he merely ignored it, Harry riding in his arms like it was the best place in the world to be with his arms wrapped securely around Alex’s neck.  
  
Even her son was a traitor.  
  
But why did he have to make her heart do that funny flutter thing and why did it feel like her stomach was twirling around? Why did she have to feel like this about a man she wanted a clean break from?  
  
And yet, even as she thought that, she knew that his showing up like this portended the fact that her heart still wasn’t safe from him. It told her that he came for other reasons than annulment.  
  
He stopped in front of her and gave her a small, shy smile. “Can we talk?”  
  
“Here? Now?” she asked. “I’m at my best friend’s rehearsal dinner, Alex. This isn’t some place to have a conversation.”  
  
Joie stepped up to them. “Go chat a bit. You have twenty minutes before dinner.”  
  
Benny looked at her friend, hoping her glare was enough to warn her to stay out of it.  
  
Joie, never the shrinking violet, merely smirked and held her hands out. “Come with me, Harry. Your mama and Alex need to go do something really quick.”  
  
“No! I stay with Awex!” he protested.   
  
Alex sighed and looked at Harry, lifting his other hand up to remove him from his side. It was then that Benny saw the platinum band surrounding his left ring finger. It wasn’t gone. Maybe she had mistaken what had happened. What if she had jumped to conclusions and left him there, and _he_ had thought she never wanted to see him again? Was that why he hadn’t called?  
  
“Harry, go with your Aunt Joie,” Alex said. “I will be right back, and we’ll sit together for dinner. Is that okay?”  
  
“Okay!” he said happily and moved to Joie’s arms, leaving Alex looking down at her.  
  
“Please come talk to me,” he pleaded.  
  
Benny sighed and looked around. People were still watching them. “Come on.”  
  
She grabbed his hand and pulled him in the direction of the small alcove of trees just over a small pond where they would be having the actual wedding the following day. The last thing she needed was for anyone to overhear them. When at last the sound of the partiers was just a dull roar in the background, Benny turned to look up at him.  
  
“What are you doing here, Alex?” she asked.  
  
“I came to see my wife,” he replied simply.  
  
She scoffed and shook her head. “I haven’t heard from you for a fucking month, Alex, and you just expect me to welcome you back into my life with open arms? What the hell happened when we were in Vegas? You just left me and said nothing.”  
  
“I went to the bathroom and lost the contents of the stomach,” he replied. “By the time I pulled myself together and came out, you weren’t there. Where did _you_ go, Benny? Did you just run away from the first sign of difficulty?”  
  
Benny frowned. “Didn’t you?”  
  
“I’ve got issues, too, Benny,” he said. “I was so focused on getting you and keeping you, I never voiced my problems. Forgive me for having them. And forgive me for not thinking about only you for one instant!”  
  
“That’s not what I meant,” she shook her head. “You didn’t call me for an entire month, Alex. What am I supposed to think? I was right thinking that I had no chance in the world with you. I may have been okay to date, but now that we’re married… now I’m not good enough to stay with you, am I?”  
  
“Did I _ever_ say that to you?” he asked. “No.”  
  
Benny grunted and turned her back on him, crossing her arms defensively over her chest.  
  
“Benny, you know the things I’ve said about my parents’ relationship in passing?” he asked.  
  
“Yes,” she replied flatly.  
  
“Well, that was my entire life. Constant bickering and fighting and hurting everyone around them because they were both too pigheaded to get a divorce,” he explained. “It fucked me up. When I started having girlfriends, I could never commit to them like they wanted. And the few that I did, turned out to be nothing after all. I was frightened I would end up like my parents, and I couldn’t have that. I refused to live like that and possibly allow any children resulting from the marriage to be as miserable as I was growing up. I couldn’t.”  
  
Benny sighed and turned around to look at him. “Okay.”  
  
He walked to the lip of the fountain and sat down, folding his hands and resting his arms on his legs. “And I also know how tough it is to be attached to someone even with some small modicum of fame. I know the trust issues. I’ve faced it my entire life. But then I met you.”  
  
She was silent and he looked up to meet her eyes.  
  
“And something pulled me to you. From the first damn time you put your hands on me to take a measurement, I was yours, whether I knew it or not,” he said. “I spent the whole season trying to get you to notice me. Finally… you did.”  
  
He sighed. “You told me your concerns and I vowed to never hurt you like that, and what I promised was the truth. I would never use someone like that. When we were married in Vegas, it made me realize that this was permanent. And I worried that I wouldn’t be able to live up to my promise to you. I want to so much, Benny. I’ve never cheated on anyone like Harry’s father did, but I worried. I couldn’t be the one responsible for breaking your heart again… not when it’s a heart I cherish as I do yours.”  
  
Benny couldn’t help the tears forming in her eyes. It wasn’t even worth it trying to keep them at bay. There were just too many pent up tears from the past month waiting to spill over.  
  
“I know it’s illogical, but I’m worried that I will hurt you,” he said. “It just happened so fast that it all came crashing down on me. I’ve never been one to want to be tied down by promises or by marriage. Everything in my past has told me not let myself get into that position because I will end up miserable. But I don’t want to be miserable.”  
  
“Neither do I,” Benny replied quietly.  
  
He stood up and walked to her, pulling her into his arms.  
  
“The problem is, I’m more miserable without you than I think I would ever be in a relationship or marriage with you,” he said.  
  
“How utterly romantic,” she said wryly.  
  
He sighed and pulled back. “Benny, I don’t want to get this annulled. I want to see where we take it. I mean really… what is marriage? It’s dating that you do living together.”  
  
“There’s a lot more to marriage than that, Alex,” she said.  
  
“I know,” he said. “But I have to tell you that I never once seriously thought about settling down until I met you. And when you finally accepted my feelings for you, I thought it might be possible. I don’t want to be a bachelor any more. I’m done with that lifestyle… but I need time to work into it.”  
  
“Okay,” she said.  
  
“Is that ‘okay, great, thanks for telling me, now leave me alone’ or is that an ‘okay, we’ll take it slow and I don’t hate your guts’?” he asked.  
  
Benny brushed at her tears. “The second.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Alex, I love you,” she said. “It’s stupid and fast and I worry that I’m making a huge mistake, but I do love you. Despite the fact we only really dated for a week and half, and you left me with nothing for an entire month, I can’t _not_ love you. It hurts me too much to try to deny it. But I also worry I’m giving my heart too freely again. You have it, Alex. My heart is yours whether I want it to be or not.”  
  
He grabbed her and held her close to him again, pulling her into a deep, long kiss filled with so much emotion, Benny barely knew what she should focus on. She had never been kissed like this before.  
  
Finally he moved his head back and peered down at her. “Benny, I’m in love with you, too.”  
  
The grin spread across her face before she even had a chance to stop it. Hearing it from his lips was amazing. It made her melt nearly as much as the feel of his hands on her body did.  
  
“Oh, Alex, we’re idiots,” she said.  
  
“We are,” he replied. “But I truly believe it will all work out.”  
  
Benny laughed. “I hope.”  
  
“It will,” he said and started toward the party again.  
  
“Where are you going?” she asked.  
  
“The party?” he asked. “I told my son I’d sit with him at dinner, he’s probably waiting for me.”  
  
He disappeared behind the copse of bushes and trees at the party, leaving Benny behind to ponder what he had said. Nothing he could have said could have convinced her more of his intentions and feelings. Platitudes and explanations were something, but to have Alex call Harrison his son so naturally was everything.  
  
There was still so much to talk about, but Benny decided it would wait. Right now, she had a man she loved within her grasp. He loved her, too.  
  
And really, that’s all that mattered at the moment.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13  
  
Alexander was glad that his reunion with Benny had gone so well. So many different scenarios about how this night might play out had gone through his head from the time that Joie had suggested he do this. He had nearly psyched himself out enough that he had almost left the hotel to try another day… or not try at all.  
  
But as he stood off to the side of the entrance behind some tall trees, watching the people around him and looking for Benny, he’d thrown out that thought. When he finally saw her, looking elegant and refined in a black cocktail dress, and realized that his heart had clenched in recognition of its owner, he knew he could not leave tonight. He also knew that whatever he did, he could not leave her forever. Indeed, if he had needed any confirmation of his feelings, it had come in that instant. He felt so much more alive with her around…   
  
Even if she might not take him back. And who was he to blame her for not taking him back? He probably didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve her. But he hoped above all hopes that he could make this work. He had to.  
  
When Harry saw him behind the trees, he had no recourse but to step out. He noticed the challenging looks of those of Benny’s family that were present, and he wondered how much she had told them about what had happened, if anything. Whatever their knowledge, they were distrustful of him.  
  
The conversation had gone as smoothly as possible and by some grace he had been able to get out what he had needed to say in some semi-coherent babble. Now as he sat at dinner, he couldn’t really remember what he had said. But he knew he _had_ spoken from the heart. And if he had done that, he knew he had gotten everything right. He was just so surprised Benny was so willing to accept him again.  
  
He was surprised when she had told him she loved him. That had crumbled any reservation he may have had. He knew then that this was going to work because he wanted it to work, and because she wanted it to work… not because anyone else wanted it to. It was just them.  
  
“Awex,” said the quiet voice beside him.  
  
He looked down at the booster seat filled with his son. His son. Oh, lord. The thought made him dizzy. He had for so long wanted a family. He wanted children. He loved children. And now all of a sudden, he had a readymade family…  
  
A family he already loved.  
  
He only hoped Benny wouldn’t mind having more children with him.  
  
God, how far he’d come. And so quickly, too. There was still so much to learn about each other, so much they had to discuss, not least of which was how they were going to deal with this on and off set. How, if his career really did pick up, what was going to happen.  
  
“Awex,” Harry said again, this time more imploring.  
  
“What is it, Harry?” he asked quietly, so as not to interrupt the diners around them.  
  
“I got a horsey,” Harry said.  
  
“Oh, yeah?” Alex asked. “From who?”  
  
“Auntie Joie.”  
  
Alex smiled and nodded his head and turned to take a sip of his wine.  
  
“Awex,” the voice said again.  
  
“Hmm?” he asked.  
  
“The horsey’s white,” Harry said. “Like Poppy’s horsey, Tank.”  
  
“Really? I’ve got a white horse, too,” Alex said.   
  
“Really?” his eyes grew wide.  
  
Alex nodded. “It’s my dad’s.”  
  
“You have a daddy?” he asked.  
  
“I do,” Alex replied.  
  
Harry looked thoughtful. “I want a daddy.”  
  
“You have one,” he said.  
  
Harry gave him an incredulous look, and turned away to grab a chicken nugget from his plate and munched on it.  
  
Alex took another drink of his wine. It literally hurt his heart to see Harry’s reaction to the talk about dads. As many problems as he had with his own father, he could not even imagine a life without his father in it.  
  
“You have one _now_ ,” Alex muttered into his wine goblet.  
  
Alex sighed and looked around the table, finding that everyone else was in conversation and obviously not willing to engage him in one. Since everyone at this table was in some way related by blood or bond to Benny, he had a feeling why. He still wanted to know why no one had commented on his ring, though.  
  
“Awex,” the voice said again.  
  
He chuckled and looked down at Harry. “Yes?”  
  
“I has poops,” he said.  
  
 _And so fatherhood begins…_  
  
“Come on, Harry,” Benny piped up. He hadn’t realized that she’d been listening in to their conversation. Not that they’d been particularly quiet, but obviously louder than initially planned because she had heard them over her conversation with her mother and father.  
  
“No! Awex,” Harry protested.  
  
Alexander laughed. “I’ve got it, Benny. Where’s his bag?”  
  
Benny looked at him dubiously.  
  
“Benny, I have five brothers and a sister, most of which I’ve changed at some point in my life,” he said. “Just don’t tell Valter when you meet him because he gets weird about it.”  
  
Benny laughed. “Okay. Have fun.”  
  
Alex rolled his eyes and stood from his seat, picking Harry up and grabbing the diaper bag. As he swung the pastel-colored bag on his shoulder, he realized just how done for her was.  
  
\---  
  
Benny watched Alex leave the party to go change Harry. It both soothed her and pained to her to watch her baby go so easily with another person. He hadn’t always been like that. When he was a baby, he hated for anyone else to hold him unless it was his mom or one of his grandparents. He would settle for others if neither of them were around, but when she was around him, he refused to settle down unless he was with his mother. But now he was wandering off with the giant man who was now his father.  
  
His father!  
  
The thought was staggering. What was even more staggering was the fact that Alex actually didn’t mind the distinction. As a matter of fact, he seemed to completely enjoy it. But she still couldn’t tell if it was all an act or if he really understood what being married really meant for them. What being married to _her_ meant.   
  
She didn’t want this to be something where they were just married in name, occasionally slept together and led completely separate lives. No. They needed to keep their individuality, but she wanted to live one life with whomever she was married to… and she did not know if he really understood that. Or understood the fact that they now had real life things to consider, like the raising of a child, their living arrangements, bills and other things that would undoubtedly affect their careers no matter how they handled it.  
  
But that did bring up a very good point… did they just start living together? If so, where did they live? Orange was a long distance from the Hills. He lived with roommates, and she did not have the money to relocate at the moment, taking on all of the bills of the household now that Joie was gone. And she refused to ask her parents or anyone else for help monetarily.  
  
First, they’d have to know about her supreme fuck up.  
  
But she had an inkling that they had a clue. Her mother had commented on the wedding ring on Alex’s hand that she had forgotten to tell him to take off.  
  
“Benny?”  
  
She looked up at her mother. “Yeah?”  
  
“Is Alex married?” she asked. “Is that why you’ve been so down the last month? Is something going on?”  
  
“Yeah, Mom,” Benny said. She knew this wasn’t the place to bring it up, but she couldn’t hide it. And lying about it would only make it worse. “Alex is married.”  
  
“How long have they been separated?” her father asked.  
  
“A month,” she replied.  
  
“Huh?”   
  
Both of their expressions were that of confusion.  
  
“Mom, Dad…” she said. “When we were in Vegas…”  
  
She didn’t need to say anything more. The disappointment in their eyes came upon them quickly and Benny felt sheepish. She had to look away as tears threatened to fall again. There was nothing she hated worse than disappointing her parents.  
  
“Benny, you didn’t,” her mother admonished.  
  
“We had too much to drink,” she said. “I don’t remember even doing it. But he has the license signed by us both. We both have rings.”  
  
Neither of her parents said anything else. That was how she knew she truly had flabbergasted and upset them. If it were anything else, her normally loud, brash family would be up at arms right now yelling at her. Like when she had told them she was pregnant with Harry.   
  
What her father said surprised her, though.  
  
“We’ll have it taken care of,” he said.  
  
“What?” Benny asked.   
  
“I’ll get a name from one of our lawyers for a good divorce attorney,” he replied. “We’ll get it done and out of the way and no one has to know about it.”  
  
“No!” Benny exclaimed. “I don’t want to do that. No yet… maybe not ever. We have a lot of shit to work through, Dad, but we’ve both agreed to try to make it work. The only thing that’s different is that we’re legally bound together while we date.”  
  
Her mother sighed and shook her head. “Were you even that serious about him, Benny? We thought you were going through something… to get over JC. Just a hot little fling or something.”  
  
“I’m never having a hot little fling again,” Benny said. “Do you know what the hell I put him through to even take me on a date?”  
  
“How do you know he’s just not going to take what he wants and leave?” her father asked. “He’s like JC but a hundred times more attractive and more successful.”  
  
“Alex is _nothing_ like JC,” Benny defended. She hoped she was right with that assertion.  
  
Steve sighed. “We don’t even know him.”  
  
“Well, I haven’t even _met_ his family. Can you imagine what they must think of me right now?” Benny said. She hadn’t even considered it. God, they must think her a horrible, scheming woman.  
  
“I just think we’re in shock,” her mother said, placing a hand on her father’s. “That is the last thing we were expecting. Like the probability of Jack coming out to us was above this news.”  
  
Benny couldn’t help but laugh at her mother. “I just want to give it a chance. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work.”  
  
“But by that time he could be this huge star and it might all blow up in your face if you get a divorce,” her father said.  
  
“Daddy,” she said. “If that happens, then it does. People have made worse mistakes.”  
  
“Not you, Benny,” he said. “Not you.”  
  
Benny clenched her jaw. “I’m tired of being rational, Dad. I’m tired of doing what I’m supposed to do because it’s right or because it’s what other people want of me. This is good for me. Alex makes me feel like the most beautiful, amazing woman in the world… not because of honeyed words or fake promises. It’s because of the way he treats me. The way he cares for Harry. He may be a little rough around the edges… but think that’s a cultural thing. I know I may be insane, but I feel like it’s right. I never felt like that with JC.”  
  
Finally her father gave her a small smile. “That’s what I was looking for.”  
  
“What?” she asked, confused.  
  
“The passion,” he said. “You’ve not openly defended someone like that in ages. It _proves_ to me that you really do want this.”  
  
Benny sighed. She knew her father was probably the last person who should be lecturing her on all of this, but he had been in a reasonably successful marriage for more than thirty years. That had to count for something.  
  
“You get to tell your brother,” her mother said.   
  
“Mom, then the entire faire circuit will know!” she said. “And then JC will know.”  
  
But then, that didn’t sound like such a bad idea, either. Oh, and wouldn’t that chap JC’s ass to know he had been replaced by a man like Alexander Skarsgård. She had been searching for some type of vengeance for a very long time… and she was pretty sure she had found sweet pay back for all the shitty things he put her and Harry through.  
  
“Jack!” Benny called.  
  
He looked at her, angry to be pulled out of his conversation with one of the pretty bridesmaids. “What?”  
  
“I married Alex when I was in Vegas,” she said with a smile. “Now, go call everyone else so they can start spreading the rumor for me.”  
  
Jack sat there, his eyes glazed over. He clearly couldn’t comprehend what had just been said. Very calmly, he frowned and then shrugged his shoulders, turned back to the girl he was talking to, and began chatting again. Benny scoffed. Apparently that news wasn’t nearly as important as the possibility of getting laid was.  
  
God, she hated men.  
  
\---  
  
Alexander secured the last tab on Harry’s diaper and stood back, looking at his handiwork. For being considerably out of practice, he had to give himself a pat on the back. He had accomplished changing his son’s dirty diaper with only seriously gagging once, and maneuvering everything else like a pro.   
  
When he had been a kid and his parents had asked him to help out with changing his siblings, he had hated it. Absolutely hated the fact that he had been “degraded” to doing such a thing. But at this moment, he was happy to have had the experience, and it made him wonder if things really didn’t happen for a reason. Maybe he _was_ meant to have to live that so he’d be ready for his family.  
  
His family. Lord, he still couldn’t get over that.  
  
Harry mumbled and hummed to himself as he played with the cell phone Alexander gave him to keep him entertained, allowing Alexander to help him put his pants back on and clean up the mess on the changing table in the family bathroom. As Alexander turned back around to help Harry down, the phone started ringing.  
  
It was Björne’s ring tone.  
  
Alexander made to reach for the phone, but Harry was faster and obviously knew how to operate it because his mother had the exact same phone. Harry put the phone to his ear.  
  
“Hewwo!” he said, laughing.  
  
Alexander could hear Björne’s muffled Swedish on the other end.  
  
“Who dis?” Harry asked.  
  
Björne changed to English.  
  
“Awex diaper,” said Harry. “Okay, buh-bye!”   
  
Harry waved at the phone as though he were waving farewell and then removed it from his ear. It started ringing immediately after that.  
  
“May I have it, Harry?” Alexander asked.  
  
“Okay,” Harry said. “Down?”  
  
“Yes,” Alexander said, first lowering him to the ground and then taking the phone from him. He placed it to his ear. “Hello.”  
  
“What the hell is going on?” Björne said. “I know that’s not Ossian. He’s only a month old.”  
  
“That would be Harrison Cowan- Skarsgård,” Alexander replied, placing the bag on his shoulder.  
  
There was silence on the phone, then, “A nephew? Cousin?”  
  
“My son,” he replied.  
  
“Your what?!”  
  
“My son,” Alexander repeated.  
  
Björne grumbled into the phone. “Man, you’ve been completely MIA this last month, and when I do get you one the phone, you act weird and depressed. Then you decide to come back to Los Angeles early, and you’re not even at your house. Where the hell are you with a kid? Your kid?”  
  
“I know I have a lot of explaining to do,” Alexander said. “And I will explain it. I just can’t do it right now. I’m at a wedding rehearsal dinner for my wife’s best friend.”  
  
“WHAT!?” Björne said. “I am coming to you now. Where are you? How could you not fucking tell me you got married? What am I? I am the first person you should have told! I don’t know what she’s like. I don’t know if she’s good enough for you… God, this has got to be your biggest fuck up.”  
  
Alexander listened to his friend’s tirade, waiting for him to take a breath. He loved his friend dearly, but at times he could get a tad dramatic. “Björne, take a breath. Secondly, I will explain it all later. Come to brunch on Sunday. Bring Lisa and Lilly.”  
  
“Where?” he asked.  
  
“Four Seasons,” he said.  
  
“In Beverley Hills?” Björne questioned.  
  
“No, West Lake,” he said. “We’re here for her friend’s wedding, and staying the weekend. I think. I really don’t know. Everything is up in the air right now.”  
  
Harry, who had until then been very quiet looking up at him, walked toward the door and reached for the handle to pull it open.   
  
“Look, I gotta go,” Alexander said. “Harry is escaping. Just come to brunch at like 11:30. I’m going to be pretty busy tonight and tomorrow.”  
  
“Whatever,” Björne said. “I’m not happy with you.”  
  
Alexander scoffed. “Well, excuse me for having my own life, sweetheart.”  
  
“Fucker,” Björne said and then the line went dead.  
  
Alexander rolled his eyes and slipped his phone back in his coat pocket. He knew his friend to be all talk and had no real bite, but he was sure he would hear about this for a long time to come. Especially if Benny and his best friend didn’t hit it off right away. But Alex honestly did not think that would be the case—it was difficult not to like Benny. And if Björne really was his friend, he’d get over it even if he didn’t like Benny.  
  
But that also brought up a very good point. Besides his family not knowing her… none of his friends knew her. There were quite a few people who would be completely blindsided by this development, especially since most of his friends were bachelors and would still expect him to be one.  
  
They did indeed have a very long road ahead of them.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14  
  
Benny glanced at her watch again and craned her neck to see over the crowd of people now milling about. The formalities of the rehearsal dinner had been done before the food had been served, and now that dessert had been served, people were up mingling again. Many of the guests drifted away to their rooms or to go home until they were once again needed at the ceremony the following day. Joie and Josh moved around, speaking with everyone and generally being the sappy, almost married couple they were.  
  
Alex and Harry still hadn’t returned from the bathroom, and Benny wondered what could possibly be keeping them. She wanted to go up to their room, take her heels off and relax for the rest of the night because tomorrow would be stressful enough for everyone. Harry also needed his sleep. It was an hour past his bedtime.  
  
Finally, Alex appeared around a row of hedges, carrying Harry at his side. Harry had rested his head on the big man’s shoulders and looked like he was about ready to pass out. Alex smiled at her as he came to a stop.  
  
“We got sidetracked at the kid’s playroom, but they were just closing it for the night,” Alex said. “I promised I’d take him back tomorrow when they open up again.”  
  
“You have no idea how much help that’ll be,” Benny said. “I mean, Mom and Dad can take him, but they’re acting parental tomorrow for Joie.”  
  
He grinned. “I would be happy to spend the whole day playing with my son.”  
  
Benny felt her heart flutter and her face heat up in a blush. “You know exactly what to say to make me hot.”  
  
“Well, hey,” he said, “I’m a quick learner.”  
  
“Mommy!” Harry called, lifting his head and reaching out to her. Benny took him from Alex and hugged him close. She could faintly smell Alex’s pleasant cologne in her son’s hair, and that too made her feel oddly wonderful. “Mommy, Awex talks funny.”  
  
She glanced at Alex and grinned. “I know, baby, but it’s just something we’re going to have to get used to.”  
  
“Hey!” Alex protested. “You’re the ones that talk funny.”  
  
“Nuh-uh!” Harry exclaimed, but yawned widely.  
  
Benny chuckled. “I think it’s time for bed, mister.”  
  
Alex then play-yawned. “Indeed, I believe it _is_ time for bed.”  
  
Before she could think of a retort, her parents sidled up to them, her father and mother looking over Alex carefully as though they did not know what to say. When Benny glanced back at Alex, she could see that he now knew that she had told them while he’d been gone.  
  
“I would say congratulations,” said her father finally, “but I don’t know if those are the right words in this situation, Alex.”  
  
“I’ll just be pleased if you don’t injure me or kill me, honestly,” Alex said.   
  
Steve smiled. “I would only do that if you hurt her somehow. You haven’t hurt her… you’ve just skipped quite a few steps. But if you do hurt her… well…”  
  
He sliced his finger across his throat.  
  
“Stephan!” said her mother.  
  
“And the blades we have are dull,” he continued. “It would be painful and drawn out. They are also rusty, so you might get tetanus and die from that before we’re don’t hacking at you.”  
  
Alex had the ability to see the humor in the promises her father was making, but even though he also had the grace to laugh, Benny knew that Alex took the warning with great seriousness. “I promise, Mr. Cowan, to make it my life’s duty to not hurt Benny.”   
  
“Good,” he replied, extending his hand. “And it’s Steve.”  
  
Alex took it and they shook hands firmly.  
  
“Welcome to the family,” Steve said.   
  
Her mother stepped forward, all five-foot-five of her, and reached up to pull Alex’s head down. She kissed his cheek and patted his shoulder. “Prepare yourself for the crazy you’ve married into.”  
  
“It’s okay, you’re in good company,” he replied. “My family is just as crazy. Trust me.”  
  
“When will we get to meet them?” Steve asked.  
  
Alex laughed. “Hopefully never, but whenever I can get them to LA or you to Sweden. My dad doesn’t like California, but he’s here on business every once and awhile. Speaking of which… Benny, I’m headed back to Sweden on the twelfth for a few days with my family and then I’m filming. I was hoping you’d come with me to at least meet everyone.”  
  
“Well, I don’t know,” she said. “That’s like four days away… I mean… lord, we really need to talk about this.”  
  
“And that, children, is where we come into play,” her mother said. “We can take him for tonight. You two obviously have a lot to work through.”  
  
“It’s going to take way more than a night,” Benny replied.  
  
Her mother laughed. “No, dear, it’s going to take a lifetime. That’s what a marriage is. But we can help by watching Harry for a night while you take care of the most pressing matters.”  
  
“Thank you,” Benny said.  
  
Alex seemed overjoyed with this news as well. But Benny had no intention of just going upstairs and fucking his brains out. At least not right away.   
  
They did have quite a bit to talk about and she knew him well enough to know that after he climaxed he was useless but for more sex or sleep. Judging by how tired he looked, she imagined after he found his release, it would be sleep.  
  
Benny glanced down at the child now snoozing on her shoulder. “I’m going to go get him ready for bed.”  
  
“I’ll go with you and have the concierge bring a crib into our room,” her mother said. “You boys stay here.”  
  
“Good, it’ll give us time to have a drink and talk,” Steve said, placing a fatherly arm on Alex’s shoulders.  
  
Benny laughed, knowing that this could potentially be a long evening, if she knew her father.  
  
“I need to go check out of my room,” Alex said.   
  
“Who said you were staying in my room with me?” Benny asked.  
  
He was dumbfounded. “I thought…”  
  
She rolled her eyes. Her father leaned over and said in confidence, though it was loud enough for them all to hear. “Welcome to marriage, Alex.”  
  
Her mother smacked her father and turned to look at her. “Let’s go, Benny.”  
  
Benny laughed and pulled the sleeve of two keys from her small purse, handing one to Alex. “620.”  
  
Alex laughed and slipped it into his pocket with a nod. Benny grabbed the diaper bag Alex had dropped at his feet sometime before and followed after her mother to get Harry ready for bed and to await her husband.  
  
\---  
  
When Alex still hadn’t appeared an hour later, Benny grew annoyed. She knew that Alex had probably tried everything in his power to get free of her father, but she also knew her father would keep him for as long as possible. This would especially be true after the new development. Lord knew what kind of pissing match they had found themselves in now.  
  
Deciding that she needed a bath to soothe her weary nerves and actually relax before the stressful day ahead of her, she drew a bath in the large tub and slipped into the near-scalding bubbly water. If Alex was going to stay away, she was at least going to enjoy the little while of complete and utter silence and relaxation she could get without a child always calling for her or a husband annoying her.  
  
Not five minutes had passed when she heard the sound of the key card in the door, and then the mechanized “snick” of the lock deactivating. He opened the door and let it close.  
  
“Benny?” he called.  
  
“In the bath,” she replied.  
  
In the quiet of the hotel room and bathroom, she could almost hear the wheels turning in his head about whether or not he should join her, if he even had the right to walk into the bathroom without asking, and a whole menagerie of other things. At least, she was pretty sure that was what was going through his mind, because her mind would have been doing the same thing.  
  
“You can come in,” she said with a giggle.  
  
He opened the door slowly and poked his head in before he let himself in completely.  
  
“Shut the door! You’re letting all the hot air out!” Benny said when all he did was stand there looking at her.  
  
“I thought we had things to talk about?” he asked.  
  
Benny laughed. “We do. You were taking forever, so I thought I’d take a bath. But you know Murphy’s Law… as soon as I got in, you showed up. Now close the freaking door.”  
  
“Oh, sorry,” he said, shaking his head as though he were in a trance. No, whether she was nude or if he were nude, the other person could not concentrate on what needed to be talked about. Clothes were the best option, but she wasn’t about to get out of the bath after just getting in. Especially not when she had already noticed his excitement in his suit pants.  
  
“There’s plenty of room, even for you,” she said, finally pulling her eyes away from his groin and looking up to meet his eyes.  
  
He blew air out of his lips in a dramatic huff and shook his head as though in disbelief.  
  
“I am a lucky bastard,” he replied.  
  
“Don’t you forget it,” she laughed, sitting up in the bubbles.  
  
“Funny, that’s what your Dad said downstairs,” he said, kicking off his dress shoes while pulling off his coat.  
  
Benny smiled. “Did you have a good chat?”  
  
“Oh, very,” he said. “There was very little threatening involved. I just hope my parents are as welcoming to you.”  
  
“You don’t think they will?” she questioned, drawing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.  
  
He unbuttoned his shirt and cufflinks, pulling it off and tossing it into a heap before moving to his belt buckle and fly. “My mom will be fine. She’s excited to meet you, even under the circumstances. My dad… well, my dad is a tough, Scandinavian man. He’s a tough nut to crack… but once you do, he will love you fiercely and forever.”  
  
“Sort of like my dad,” she said.  
  
Alex sighed sadly. “Your father is a softy compared to mine, Benny. I don’t want to make any illusions about it. He’s not happy about this. Mostly because he has this idea everyone is out to get his children.”  
  
“I don’t understand,” she said.  
  
“He thinks you convinced me to marry you for the potential wealth and celebrity you could gain,” he replied and pushed down his underwear and pants, kicking them off.  
  
As gorgeous a man as he was completely nude, she couldn’t concentrate on that. Not after what he had just said. He stalked over to the large tub and slipped down into it, facing her. He bent his long legs on either side of her, and she moved forward, resting her thighs over his. Immediately his hands were on her legs, stopping her.  
  
Benny rested her hands over his much larger ones. “You don’t think that… do you?”  
  
He scoffed. “Of course not. I know you, Benny. I know you would never do that. It’s sort of a slap in the face to me as well, knowing that my father thinks I would marry a shallow woman like that.”  
  
“I can’t believe there’s another person on this earth with more problems with their father than I have with mine,” Benny said.  
  
“Trust me, I haven’t even gotten into the bad parts,” he said. “But we still love them, no matter what. That’s what’s so fucked up about it. I’ve tried to hate my father before, but I can’t.”  
  
Benny nodded her head and sighed. “I know how you feel.”  
  
Alex reached up and brushed his fingers across her cheek, trailing around and entwining in her hair at the base of her neck. He used this advantage to pull her to him as he leaned over to kiss her.  
  
She kissed him back, but then placed her hands on his chest and pushed him away. “Are you sure I should go with you to Sweden so soon?”  
  
“It’s better now than waiting,” he replied. “I’m not ashamed of you. If he can’t deal with it, then that’s his loss.”  
  
“I don’t want to be the catalyst of your falling out with your father,” she said.  
  
“We’ve got issues, Benny,” he replied. “More than any magazine. And you need to come and meet my family. I want you to meet them because you are as important to me as they are.”  
  
She laughed. “That pun was bad.”  
  
He quirked his lips up slightly. “Just trying to lighten the mood. I’m serious about this, Benny. I want this to work out as best it can. Don’t think I’m putting on a show. We’re married and we need to make these sacrifices and adjustments in our lives. I know it won’t be easy, but I think we can do it.”  
  
“I think we can, too,” she said. It felt good to hear such things from him.  
  
“But you’ll come with me to Sweden?” he asked. “It sounded like you didn’t want to earlier.”  
  
“I do, Alex… but you’ve got to realize, I can’t just take off on a whim. Hell, you didn’t even know if I had a passport or not,” she said. “I’ve got a business and a child to worry about. The business can be shut down for a few days, but I have to make arrangements for babysitters and whatnot for Harry.”  
  
Alex nodded his head. “I didn’t think about that… it’s very new to me.”  
  
Benny smiled and squeezed the hand she held. “I don’t want you to think that you have to suddenly be this super amazing dad or anything. If you need to ease into it, I’m fine with that. Having a child is a big responsibility. Honestly, just having you around once and awhile is better than the nothing at all it is with JC.”  
  
“But I _want_ to be an amazing dad,” he said. “I want to be involved and tell him I love him daily because he deserves that.”  
  
“Why are you so perfect?” she asked.  
  
“I’m not,” he said. “I just know what it was like with an emotionally absent father.”  
  
Benny nodded. “Alex, we can talk about all of this all day long, but it isn’t the same as actually doing it. Doing this—being a parent—is very different.”  
  
“And I’m ready for the challenge,” he said.  
  
She smiled and leaned up, kissing him softly. “I will go to Sweden with you, but only for a few days. Mom said she’d take Harry for no longer than a week. Dad’s heading to Wisconsin for a renaissance faire there, and that leaves her in charge of the ranch.”  
  
“I can work with that,” he said. “I’ll call my manager tomorrow and have them set you up a ticket.”  
  
“Just let me know how much it is,” she said.  
  
He raised a speculative brow. “Uh, nothing.”  
  
Benny pursed her lips. “Transatlantic flights aren’t cheap, Alex. Don’t be silly. I’ll pay for mine.”  
  
“No you won’t,” he said. “Can I please do this for my wife?”  
  
She couldn’t help the giddy laugh that escaped her lips at his words. “I’m an independent woman who can take care of herself.”  
  
“Yes, you’ve been forced to be strong for yourself and for Harry, but no one has taken care of _you_ for years,” he said. “Let me take care of you, Benny. I have the money and I want to because I love you.”  
  
“I love you, too,” she said with a sigh. Though she was a strong woman and would have normally demanded vociferously that she be allowed to pay her half, it felt oddly wonderful to be “taken care of” as Alex had put it. She wouldn’t let it get out of hand or people would definitely begin to question her motives. Hell, even she would. But she would allow him this for now. Besides, she just didn’t have the will to argue at the moment.  
  
“See? It’s our first compromise,” he said.  
  
Benny laughed, kissing him again. One turned into many as Benny wrapped her arms around his neck and held him to her. She had not realized how much she had missed him in a physical sense in the month he had been gone. With something as simple as kissing, she was on fire for the man. She needed him and she needed him now.  
  
His hands slid up her thighs and around the curve of her ass to her hips, pulling her against him and holding her there. His erection bobbed against her in the water tantalizingly. One hand left her hip, and slid down between them, teasing her and positioning her easily. With a glance to make sure she did not protest, he guided her downward. They both hissed at the pleasure and stayed still a few moments, looking at each other.  
  
Though Benny tried to ignore it, this time was very different between them. It had always been hot and passionate before, but she had never felt as complete as she did in this moment—and she hadn’t even climaxed yet. Sitting as she was, looking into his eyes, she felt the connection they had. Certainly, the connection had always been there, but she didn’t think she’d even taken a moment to realize how strong it was in the fervor of their previous times together.  
  
In those times before, they had sought release and nothing more, taking what they could get in the event there would be no tomorrow with each other. Tonight, though, it wasn’t as though one of them was going to run away. Now there was some permanency to the whole thing. And it allowed for a deeper and meaningful connection.  
  
As they moved together, slowly and languidly, the water in the bathtub lapping gently at the sides threatening to spill over, Benny realized finally that she would have been stupid to not fight for this. She had never felt like this before. And though she knew that they had a very long way to go, it was something. Something important. Something that made her feel amazing in mind and body.  
  
And most importantly, in her soul.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15  
  
Benny stood back after arranging Joie’s long train and veil on the ground, just behind the row of hedges where she and Alex had gone the night before to talk. Just around the corner lay nearly two hundred people who had come to watch her friends commit their love to each other in a beautiful, perfect early summer ceremony as the sun set and cast gorgeous pink and purple hues in the sky. In a garden fragrant from blooming flowers, she would stand by the woman who was her sister in every way but blood until she left her to officially start her life with Josh. It was a difficult realization to make knowing Joie would not be there all the time.   
  
And it wasn’t so much that she was losing her; Benny knew that Joie was her sister. They would still be inseparable, even if they lived forty minutes away from each other. It was the fact that Joie and she would not have the same life as before. They would be creating their own lives without each other, and that was a big step for Benny.   
  
Joie would officially have her own life and family to care for. However, Benny guessed she probably had the same things to face… with even more drama than Joie had ever had.  
  
Benny had started to lose hope of ever settling down when Joie had come home with the ring on her hand. For years, Benny had been a little jealous of Joie’s ability to be a social butterfly and attract men. It was only because of Joie that men even looked at her a second time. When Benny knew Joie wouldn’t be there to help earn her a second look after she got married, Benny had started preparing herself that she would be a single mother forever.   
  
But Fate had ultimately had a completely different plan for her.   
  
Now she was married. To a popular actor. To a man every woman seemed to want. And she hadn’t needed Joie at all. He’d fallen for her, taken that second look, and all because of her own personal attributes. And that knowledge was incredibly empowering.  
  
Even if she was pretty displeased with herself for what had happened. Now she wouldn’t get the chance to have soft music from a string quartet in the background or personalized favors on the tables for guests. She’d merely be flung headlong into married life.  
  
Today was bittersweet more than anything was. She was more than excited for her sister to marry Josh. Josh was a good man, and an amazing compliment to Joie.   
  
Benny picked up her bouquet and took a deep breath, stepping around to face Joie. She was radiant.  
  
“You’re gorgeous,” Benny said.   
  
Joie grinned. “Thank you.”  
  
They said nothing more to each other. Nothing really needed to be said any more between them. They knew each other’s thoughts and hearts better than they probably knew their own. Tears bit at Benny’s eyes as she looked at Joie. Joie’s own tears were already brimming on her eyes.  
  
“We can’t cry,” Benny laughed. “The makeup will run and Tess will yell at us.”  
  
Joie giggled nervously and stepped forward, pulling Benny into her arms. They held onto each other tightly until Benny laughed.  
  
“What?” Joie asked.  
  
“We’re going to be sappy old ladies,” Benny replied.  
  
“As long as we’re old ladies together,” Joie remarked, her voice thick with emotion. “Hopefully as Mrs. Holloway and Mrs. Skarsgård with lots of grandbabies running around.”  
  
Benny smiled and pulled back. “Good lord, I’m not used to that. Mrs. Skarsgård… and I don’t want _that_ many.”  
  
“Well, a reasonable amount,” Joie chuckled.  
  
The wedding planner called for everyone to line up. Benny’s father appeared, carrying a tuxedo-wearing Harry with him. He set Harry down and looked at Joie. “Are you ready, my dear?”  
  
“I am,” Joie said, taking his arm.  
  
Benny sighed. At least her father would get to walk _someone_ down the aisle, even though she wished Joie had the privilege of being escorted by her own father. But that wasn’t possible after her parents’ deaths in middle school.  
  
Benny knelt down to look at Harry. “Do you remember what you’re supposed to do?”  
  
Harry nodded his head. “Uncle Gack!”  
  
“Yes, you’re supposed to walk with Susie and stand with Uncle Jack.” Benny smiled. She stood up and led him to the flower girl. “Now, hold Susie’s hand.”  
  
Harry, who had taken this duty quite seriously, took hold of Susie’s hand and didn’t let go. The other three bridesmaids, including Evangeline, had already turned the corner, and Benny stood, making one last check of her person before she stepped out onto the runner. Benny sighed and smiled as the large crowd came into view. She figured she’d savor it, especially if this was all she was going to get. Even if she knew they could call care less about her, she knew there was one person who had turned up to see her.  
  
He sat beside her mother in the front row and turned to look down the aisle. Nothing boosted her confidence more in this slinky crepe satin gown than the look on his face as he surveyed her from feet to face, lingering on her chest for a moment. The attention made her blush and laugh, shaking her head. Alex seemed amused by it as well, and grinned stupidly.  
  
Benny reached the end of the aisle, winking at Josh, who looked very dapper and also very anxious to see his bride. She took her spot in front of Evangeline, who had taken the role as one of the bridesmaids, and turned to look down the aisle, watching as Harry practically pulled Susie down the runner. When they reached the end of the aisle, Susie joined them and Harry went to Jack as he had been told.  
  
Then came Joie, looking even more excited now. And Benny smiled. This wedding was the dream one Joie had planned from the time when they were little girls and marrying their Ken and Barbie off to each other. Benny couldn’t be happier for her.  
  
\---  
  
Alexander sighed happily to himself as Benny sat down. Her speech had been heartfelt, funny, and—from what little he knew about Joie—completely true. For a woman like Benny who hated the spotlight, she was an odd conundrum when placed in these situations. It was almost as though if she were forced into being in the spotlight, she flourished. This speech, that day at the renaissance festival and other instances showed him that she not only had the ability to hold people’s attention, but also was quite skilled at it.   
  
It made him wonder how she could possibly be so shy.  
  
She chose to be the quiet one in the background most of the time. Alexander found the duality odd, but it was something he would have to which he would become accustomed. He did not mind being the center of attention. That was why he was an actor, after all. He would just have to learn the ability to know when he needed to step back and let Benny have the spotlight.  
  
Now that dinner was finally done, people were beginning to mill about and mingle. Before he knew it, Carrie and Michael were descending upon him. He had completely forgotten what show Josh was a cast member of—and that his fellow cast members would most likely be at the wedding, including Michael.   
  
Sam had come with Tess, but as was always Sam’s personality, he was soft spoken and stayed out of other people’s business. Carrie, on the other hand, was one of the worst True Blood gossips, though she never intended it maliciously. She just liked to talk. He had noticed Carrie’s look of confusion earlier when she saw him across the aisle during the ceremony.  
  
And undoubtedly, Carrie heard what the emcee had said. Though Benny had not been introduced as Benny Skarsgård, she had been introduced as the matron of honor.  
  
“Alex!” said Carrie, slipping into the empty seat beside him. Michael excused himself to go speak with another of his cast mates at the table beside them. “I didn’t think you’d be here.”  
  
“Well, you saw us at the party in Vegas,” Alexander said.  
  
She laughed. “I didn’t think it was that serious.”  
  
Alexander smiled. Why did everyone he spoke to about Benny who worked on True Blood think it wasn’t serious? Did they really think him that kind of a playboy? Or worse yet, did they honestly think Benny wasn’t worthy of him? At least he knew the answer to the second question was that he wasn’t worthy of her, not the other way around.  
  
“It is,” Alexander confirmed and held his hand up. “We’re actually married.”  
  
“What?!” Carrie asked. “Why didn’t you tell anyone? How long have you been?”  
  
“A month.”  
  
“But that would put you…” Carrie said, connecting the dots. “You got married in Vegas? How drunk _were_ you?”  
  
“Does it matter?” Alexander asked, feeling defensive.  
  
Carrie shrugged. “It’s not that I don’t think she’s a lovely girl, I know she is. I just don’t see her with you.”  
  
Alexander frowned. “Why?”  
  
“She just doesn’t seem like your type,” Carrie said. “I always thought you were into those girls from hair and makeup.”  
  
“I used them to get to her,” he said flatly.  
  
“Oh, well, congratulations then,” Carrie said with a smile. “I’m happy for you.”  
  
“Thank you,” Alexander smiled.  
  
They were saved from having to continue their conversation by the announcement that they would have the father daughter dance. Soon Joie and Benny’s father walked out to the floor and began the slow dance.  
  
Benny left her spot at the head table and came over to him. Harry was still busy stuffing his face with small hot dogs and French fries. He could care less that his mom was there.  
  
“Did you starve him all day?” Benny asked, kissing Harry’s head.  
  
He laughed. “Your father had him for the majority of it, thank you very much.”  
  
Benny smiled and moved to sit in the seat Carrie had vacated, but Alexander reached out and pulled her back to sit in his lap. She giggled and smacked at his shoulder. “Let me sit in the chair.”  
  
“No, I want you here,” he replied. “Please?”  
  
She grinned. “Okay.”  
  
Benny draped an arm about his neck for support and turned to look out at her father and Joie. She gave a short sigh and Alexander, for once, did not miss the underlying emotion there. She was sad.  
  
He leaned over and kissed her bare shoulder. “What is it?”  
  
“Hmm?” she asked and glanced at him. “Oh, it’s nothing.”  
  
“It’s something,” he replied.  
  
Benny shrugged her shoulders. “I’ve just been thinking about all this. Joie and I have talked about this since we were little girls… I’m just realizing I’m not going to have one like this.”  
  
“Why won’t you?” Alexander asked.  
  
“We’re already married,” she said. “What’s the point in doing it again? It’s a lot of money to spend just to say some words to each other.”  
  
Alexander smiled. “It’s not just the words, Benny. It’s the celebration of two people coming together. And that’s important.”  
  
Benny was silent and looked back out on the dance floor. Alexander watched her a few moments until he realized that Joie had left Steve and was walking toward them. Joie grinned at them, grabbed Benny’s hand and pulled her out of his arms.  
  
“Come on, chica,” she said. “You’ve got half a song left.”  
  
“What? Joie… this dance is for you,” Benny said.  
  
Joie shook her head. “Go dance with your father, damn it. I’m grabbing Tom.”  
  
With that, Joie left to collect Josh’s father and pull him to the dance floor. At which time, the emcee announced that all fathers and daughters could join the dance floor. Benny glanced back at him and smiled, leaving him to go to her father. Steve accepted Benny into his arms and they were lost in the dancing crowd.   
  
Alexander frowned, looking to his side to Harry. He knew what she was trying to get at but was too proud to admit it. She wanted all of this, and now she thought she wasn’t going to get it because of what happened in Las Vegas. Well, Benny obviously still didn’t understand how determined he could be, and that he was determined to make her happy for the rest of his life, if she would have him.  
  
And if this huge celebration would make her happy, he would give her the celebration she wanted, no expense spared.  
  
Now it was just a matter of convincing her to marry him all over again. But this time, he smirked to himself, they would both be completely lucid and remember the words they spoke to each other.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16  
  
Björne tapped his fingers anxiously on the ceramic-tiled restaurant table top where Alexander had told him to go to for brunch. Ever since his conversation with Alexander two nights ago—the one in which he had been completely blindsided—Björne just didn’t know what to think about his best friend any more.   
  
He thought they told each other everything. And here he found out that his friend was not only stupidly married to a woman Björne had never had a chance to meet nor give his seal of approval to, but he had also been married for an entire _month_. Oh, and he had a step son. These were some pretty big, important issues he had thought his friend would have sought him out, at least to talk or ask for advice. After all, wasn’t he the friend who was married and had a kid? The least he could have told Alexander was that he should rethink his decision to get married.  
  
What was worse, Alexander hadn’t even though it necessary to call him back later that same night and explain everything to him. When his phone hadn’t rung at the next day, Björne had called the one person who knew everything about what was going on within the Skarsgård family, even if that person shouldn’t know everything they did.  
  
Valter had not been pleased by the news when he found out, either, but he had said no one was as displeased with this as Stellan. Björne hadn’t even stopped to consider that. He had known the family for years, and had worked with Stellan before. Björne knew the man and could only imagine what had happened when Alexander told him.  
  
It still didn’t negate the fact, though, that Alexander hadn’t thought he could help with the situation in which he had mysteriously found himself. And perhaps that hurt more than realizing his friend got married without telling him. It was the fact that his friend didn’t think he would be open to helping get him out of this pickle. Even if Alexander didn’t view it as such a thing.  
  
Didn’t years of friendship mean anything to Alexander?  
  
Unless, of course, his friend was truly in love. That was another story all together. But he knew Alexander, and he had seen his friend through some of the longest and most serious relationships of his life—and Björne had never really seen or felt that Alexander had loved any of them deeply enough. In Bj¬örne’s opinion, Alexander didn’t know or understand what love was. Alexander himself said he didn’t know or understand it. How could he have gotten married so quickly to someone? He knew his friend wasn’t a whimsical person who believed in love at first sight. Who would, after all the relationships he had been around in his youth and adulthood?  
  
Hell, hadn’t Alexander even said not so long ago that he was giving up on ever finding love? Björne had been preparing himself for Alexander to admit he was gay or something equally as random. Björne thought that he might have been able to handle _that_ news a little better than he had this. That Alexander had gotten married... What the hell was going on?  
  
“Would you stop it?”  
  
Björne looked at his wife. Lisa had clearly grown incensed about an hour after he got off the phone with Alexander. She hated listening to him complaining about this like some petulant child and had said that he had no right to be so hurt about it. But then, that was why he had married Lisa. Someone in their household had to have their head firmly planted on their shoulders.  
  
Finally he saw his large friend walk into the restaurant, but he was alone. The host spoke to him, but Alexander looked over everyone and landed on him. Alexander spoke to the host again, then started back for them.  
  
Björne didn’t bother getting up, but Lisa met him and gave him a hug and kiss. Alexander bent down and kissed the top of Lilly’s head. Lilly giggled and raised her arms up, “Alex!”  
  
Alex hugged her close and then ruffled her hair.  
  
“Hey,” Alexander said, walking around the table and sitting down across from him. “Thanks for coming.”  
  
“Whatever. You’re buying,” Björne said.  
  
Alexander rolled his eyes. “Are you really going to be like this?”  
  
“How am I being?” Björne asked.  
  
Lisa scoffed and smacked his shoulder. “Alexander, don’t listen to him. He’s having jealousy issues.”  
  
“I’m not jealous,” he replied.  
  
“Okay, then he’s having possession issues.” Lisa rolled her eyes. “Where is the assuredly lovely woman you married?”  
  
Alexander grinned. “She’s on her way down. She was saying goodbye to her parents before they checked out.”  
  
“Why were they here?” Lisa asked.  
  
“They were part of the wedding,” he said. “Benny’s friend Joie lived with them after her parents died in a car wreck, so they were the parents of the bride.”  
  
“Lucky of them to marry two kids off so soon,” Björne said.  
  
Alexander sighed. “Joie and Josh have been engaged for two years, but they were waiting for a better time to get married when they could take a long honeymoon and not have to worry about getting back to Hawaii for Josh’s shooting schedule. Josh is on _Lost_.”  
  
“So her friend married a major actor?” Björne asked. “Don’t you see a trend here?”  
  
“He wasn’t major when Joie met him,” said the soft female voice. Björne looked up to find the woman who had said it.  
  
Despite his misgivings about her, Björne instantly understood what Alexander saw in his new wife. She was gorgeous… well, not strikingly so. But she was classically beautiful with her bright blue eyes, flawless ivory skin and long black hair. As he continued his perusal, he realized she was also extremely well endowed. Björne knew Alexander’s type. And this was Alexander’s type… a type he very rarely found here in Hollywood.  
  
There was nothing fake about her body. The fact that all the makeup on her face was some mascara and wore comfortable looking jeans and a tank top proved she was low key. Like Alexander.  
  
But Björne knew better than anyone else that packages could be deceiving.  
  
Alexander jumped from his seat and kissed her temple, smiling brightly. “Benny, this is Björne and his wife, Lisa. And that is their daughter, Lilly. Guys, this is Benny and _our_ son, Harrison.”  
  
Benny smiled at each of them. Björne didn’t feel compelled to offer his hand, for which he received a glare from Lisa. Lisa shook her hand and instantly started cooing at Harrison. The boy balled up shyly into his mother’s chest.  
  
After some rearrangement, Alexander had helped set Harry into the booster seat beside Benny, and Benny beside him. He then sat down. A few moments of tense silence passed between them, a waiter breaking it by taking their drink orders.  
  
“So, Benny, what do you do?” Lisa asked.  
  
Björne frowned. His wife was a traitor.  
  
“I’m a costume designer,” Benny said.  
  
“Oh!” Lisa said. “You’re the one Alexander hasn’t stopped talking about since January! It’s so wonderful to finally meet you. But I feel like I know you already after all Alexander has said.”  
  
Benny laughed at that and turned to look at Alexander. Björne did as well. His friend had blushed, but hid it behind his menu.  
  
“Well, I think I’ve heard more about you three than I have about his biological family,” Benny said.   
  
Alexander remained curiously quiet.  
  
“I do have question to ask you, though,” Benny looked directly at him. “How did you convince him to put on three inch espadrilles?”  
  
Björne couldn’t keep the smile off his face at that, no matter how hard he tried, because he remembered the conversation he had with Alexander trying to convince him to be a fugitive transvestite in his movie a few years ago. Alexander harrumphed at the mention of it, too.  
  
“You’ve seen _Kill Your Darlings_?” Björne asked.  
  
Benny nodded. “It was great. I loved the twist at the end.”  
  
Björne couldn’t really hate her after this, even if she might have been lying. Nothing made a director and writer feel better than learning that someone actually watched his small, barely publicized movie.  
  
“As an answer to your question,” Alexander interrupted, “I put on the espadrilles because it was a matter of having money for rent or not.”  
  
Benny giggled and reached over to her son and pulled the crayon from his fist that had found its way to his mouth repeatedly since it had been set down in front of him. “That’s acky, Harry. We don’t eat crayons.”  
  
Harry frowned and his lower lip wibbled, his large blue eyes growing wider, but he didn’t start crying.  
  
“How can you refuse that face?” Lisa asked with a laugh.  
  
“It’s tough. Trust me,” Benny said. “His father always made the same face. Couldn’t resist him at all. But I suppose that’s why he still gets jobs.”  
  
“What does he do?” Lisa asked.  
  
“He’s an actor,” Benny sighed.  
  
Björne looked at Alexander. He knew it! “You like actors?”  
  
Benny look at him, offended at his accusatory tone. “I hate actors.”  
  
Björne hadn’t expected such a forceful nor resolute response. “Then why did you marry one?”  
  
“Even you have to agree that Alexander can be pretty darn persuasive,” Benny said.  
  
Silence passed between everyone.  
  
Benny sighed. “Look, I know what you’re trying to get at, Björne, and no, I could care less how much money he made or how much celebrity he had. When I say I hate actors, I mean I hate the general persona. My parents are actors. My friends are actors. Nearly everyone I have known all my life are somehow connected with the industry. I would give anything to have a normal guy. But you can’t help who you fall in love with.”  
  
“Your parents are actors?” he asked.  
  
“Have you heard of the renaissance faire?” Alexander interrupted.  
  
Björne nodded his head. Lisa answered, “Yeah, I read about it in the paper and we took Lilly when you were in Sweden in April.”  
  
“My dad owns the jousting company and is one of the knights,” Benny said. “My brother is one of the squires. My mom often rides with them, but prefers just to work with the horses. The other guys I’ve grown up with my entire life.”  
  
“Even that really cute blond one?” Lisa asked.  
  
Björne scoffed at his wife.  
  
“That’s Lee, but you should see it when he colors his hair black and grows a beard. Way hotter. But he’s like my brother,” Benny laughed. “They’re all my family. But I know actors and their mentalities. I know how they are. You can see why I hate them.”  
  
Lisa laughed. “I can totally see what you mean.”  
  
“But you’re an actor, too,” Alexander said.  
  
“I told you before, I don’t act,” she said. “I sometimes ride horses and recite memorized lines. That’s all.”  
  
Alexander rolled his eyes and laughed. Finally, the waiter returned with their drink orders, breaking the conversation in favor of choosing what was for brunch.  
  
\---  
  
“You haven’t said much since we left.”  
  
Björne looked over at his wife when they were stopped at a stop light. Lilly hummed along to the song on the radio in the backseat.   
  
Lisa smiled. “I told you not to be so critical.”  
  
“Who said I liked her?”  
  
“I love her,” Lisa said. “And I know you well enough to know _you know_ you were wrong in your preconceived notions. That’s why you won’t admit it.”  
  
Björne sighed. “What do you want me to say? That I think she’s amazing and perfect for Alexander? Or that she’s the type of woman I had always imagined Alexander falling desperately in love with and marrying?”  
  
“A simple ‘I was wrong’ would probably suffice,” Lisa said. “But I agree. I think Benny is good for Alexander.”  
  
“Why did you have to invite her to go shopping with you for the premiere?” he asked.  
  
Lisa laughed at him. “Because I need someone with a sense of fashion to tell me what to wear. I don’t care what you say, Björne. I think she and I are going to be good friends. Just as I think you’re going to be great friends with her too—once you get over yourself and the fact that your friend just isn’t going to be at your beck and call anymore.”  
  
“What? I don’t care—,” he started.  
  
“Oh, don’t start that with me,” Lisa said. “That’s exactly what it is. You’re sad that Alexander has his own life and his own career and his own family now. Now he won’t be around _all_ the time.”  
  
Björne sighed.  
  
“Quit pouting,” she said. “Alexander went through the same problems when you and I decided to get married.”  
  
“No he didn’t,” Björne replied.  
  
Lisa laughed ruefully. “Oh yes he did. How can you be so incredibly blind?”  
  
He was silent.  
  
“I’m actually happy he won’t be around as much,” Lisa said. “I love him dearly, but he was really starting to worry me all the times he came over. He was getting too dependent on us.”  
  
Silence passed as they merged onto the freeway, but Björne finally sighed and glanced at his wife again.  
  
“He seems happy. She seems happy,” Björne said. “And I was wrong about her. She’s intelligent, sweet and sassy, without being arrogant, fake or overbearing.”  
  
Lisa nodded. “She’s genuine and perfect for Alexander. Not like these Barbie dolls we see every day. I could definitely see why he was so attracted to her to begin with.”  
  
He laughed. “The real test is going to be in Sweden.”  
  
“I’ll think good thoughts that she isn’t chewed up and spit back out by his family,” Lisa said. “But I think she’ll be fine. She’ll win them over one by one and Stellan will see how happy she makes Alexander. It’ll work out.”  
  
“I hope so,” Björne said.  
  
Lisa sighed. “There’s not hoping. It _has_ to work.”  
  
Lisa was right. It had to work. If it didn’t, there was no telling what such a divorce could do in the critical hour of Alexander’s rising celebrity. He was at the precipice of gaining worldwide stardom, and any misstep would not be looked at kindly. Björne knew that his fans would be much more willing to forget that he was happily married instead of chastising him for poor morals and divorcing right away.   
  
Though Björne didn’t want to admit it, he also worried for Benny were that to happen. As it was, when and if they finally came out and announced this marriage, she would be criticized and ridiculed for taking Alexander off the market, much less what would happen when the world learned the story of their nuptials. The world and his fans would do exactly what he himself had done… think Benny was nothing more than a useless fame seeker looking for a free ride on someone positioned to become Hollywood’s next biggest thing.  
  
Of course, all this could be naught. Alexander may not make as big a splash this season as HBO was projecting. There was never any way to tell how the public opinion shifted from day to day in the off season, or even if the viewership would remain intact for the second season of the show. However, Björne’s other Hollywood producer and director friends connected with HBO said otherwise. They were planning and hoping for wide scale fanaticism.  
  
Alexander hoped for his big break, but he didn’t like to talk about it and possibly jinx the whole thing. He wanted to be surprised and pleasantly pleased by it were it to happen, rather than heartbroken and defeated if the show was canceled after this season. But Alexander would have to prepare himself now that he had other people to worry about… and Björne hoped that Alexander realized it. Everything hung in the balance now, and there were so many ways to go, no one could really predict anything with any certainty until the first reactions, reviews and numbers came in for the new season premiere.  
  
Then they would know. And God help Alexander if he took off, because life was going to get just a little bit crazy.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17  
  
Benny sat at a table, sipping her champagne, relishing in a feeling better than she had ever had a chance to feel in her life. She found herself married to an ungodly hot, kind, and intelligent man. Her son was the love of her life and loved her. Her business was going well. And the premiere of the first two episodes earlier that night had proved that the costume department had done a job well done, even if she wouldn’t be recognized individually for her work on Alex’s clothing.   
  
Though Audrey had assigned her the added stress of clothing a principle after she had been found more capable than some of design assistants into the first few weeks of production, Audrey and the design assistants would receive the glory. But Benny felt at this point that she could really care less about any recognition they could give her. She had won the greatest prize. His name was Alexander Skarsgård.  
  
Nothing could eclipse this feeling, not even the sense of worry and unease deep in her belly knowing she would be in Sweden in a little over twenty four hours and meeting Alex’s family and friends. If her meeting Björne had been any indication whatsoever of her future with the Swedish contingent, she knew she had a very long way to go indeed before she was accepted into the clan. But Alex had warned her about that, so it wasn’t a surprise. It was only troublesome because she had now gotten to a point that she just wanted everything to work out.  
  
Because she found herself desperately in love with her husband. Fancy that.  
  
She snorted into the flute and tipped it back, downing the rest of the bubbly gold liquid. As she set the flute down, Tess slipped into the seat beside her.  
  
“What’s up?” Benny asked, smiling at her.  
  
Tess reached over and grabbed her left hand, inspecting it. Benny had placed the small platinum ring back on her finger Sunday afternoon after she and Harry had gotten home. Alex had yet to notice it since they hadn’t seen each other since then—Alex having a press junket to do the day before, and then other obligations today before the premiere. He likely wasn’t wearing his ring, though. Because he _was_ in sight of the paparazzi, he could not have such a thing on his finger, because they would make comments.  
  
But it made Benny feel better that she had her ring on tonight. Even if she realized by the expression on Tess’ face that maybe there would be trouble. Tess had been to Joie’s wedding and knew the circumstances, but it was apparent she had not expected Benny to show up with the ring on her finger to the premiere.  
  
“No one knows,” Benny said, pulling her hand back, glancing around the room. She noticed a few people from the cast and crew eyeing her carefully. They had started the night of the costume gala, so Benny hadn’t thought anything of it. Most of the ladies were just jealous anyway.  
  
“Wrong,” Tess replied. “They all know.”  
  
“What? How?” Benny asked. “We haven’t told anyone.”  
  
Tess sighed. “Carrie knows.”  
  
Benny froze, taking in a sharp breath. Carrie wouldn’t hurt a fly, but much like the character she played, she sometimes let her mouth run. And if Carrie knew a salacious bit of gossip, so would those around her. Benny could only hope now that she had enough good sense not to say anything to the press.  
  
“Has it really spread to everyone already?” Benny asked.  
  
“She’s actually keeping pretty quiet about it,” Tess said. “But she’s telling some people. I actually found out about it from Laura and Marianna. And Sam heard it from one of the lighting guys.”  
  
“That means _everyone_ knows now,” Benny groaned. “Great. I’m glad I’m going to Sweden tomorrow so I don’t have to worry about the shit storm we’re going to see in the press.”  
  
Tess sighed. “I don’t think they’re going to say anything. From what I could glean from the Twins, they just couldn’t believe it… or at least don’t accept it. Even if they did, they’re bound by confidentiality agreements. If they said so much as anything, I’d have so much pleasure firing their perfectly rounded, liposuction-ed asses.”  
  
Benny laughed. “I’m glad someone has my back. Richard already warned me to keep our relationship quiet.”  
  
“Richard…?” Tess asked.  
  
“Plepler. Your know, HBO president?”  
  
“They’ve called out the big dogs already?” Tess questioned with a frown. “They really don’t want this getting out, do they?”  
  
Benny shrugged. “They know they’ve got a hot commodity in Alexander. I don’t blame them. And I had no intention of being incredibly public about things. Right now we’re safe. People are only beginning to recognize him. But you’ve seen what he did this season. He’s going to be hot to trot by the end of it. That’s when I think things are going to get bad for us. But at least we have until September to be pretty free, like a regular couple. Well, as regular as it could get with him jetting off to Sweden and Shreveport to shoot while I’m at home and working.”  
  
“Have you got work lined up?” Tess asked.  
  
“Only some commission stuff. I got a few at Joie’s wedding,” Benny said. “And some drag queen costumes.”  
  
Tess laughed. “That sounds like fun. You’re going to get bedazzle friendly,” Tess said. “At least the aesthetic will work well for this show.”  
  
Benny giggled. “But only for Lafayette.”  
  
“And the gay vamps next season,” Tess said.  
  
Benny nodded her head and sighed. It was nice to have another girl to chat with at the “office” who could care less that she had married Alexander Skarsgård. Rather, Tess was more concerned over Benny getting hurt in all of this over anything else. And that made Benny realize that Tess was a true friend in all of this.  
  
“Ever since I told you on Saturday, you don’t seem fazed by any of this news,” Benny said.  
  
Tess smiled. “Should I be? Getting married may have been a mistake, but loving each other isn’t. I know what it’s like not having that someone you love more than life itself in your arms, probably better than most people here. Why would I want to see an end to a relationship that seems as destined for greatness as yours does?”  
  
“Thank you, Tess,” Benny said. “I’m glad someone’s got my back.”  
  
“As long as you’ve got mine when and if Sam and I work out,” Tess said.  
  
“Of course,” Benny laughed. “Any time.”  
  
“Good,” Tess said.  
  
Benny sighed, looking around at the other people present, wondering if she could slip out and head home. She still had some laundry and packing to do for their flight out, but she had yet to catch more than a glimpse of Alex all evening.   
  
Just as she thought it, though, the crowd parted to reveal Alex being bombarded by women. Despite the fact that she loved him and trusted him, she still was not comfortable in the fact that wherever he went, so did a legion of women all willing to disrobe at the merest provocation from him. She’d been hurt too badly in the past to be fine with all the attention he received, especially when they still didn’t know each other that well. Certainly she _knew_ him, she knew there was a link they shared that she had never felt for another man, but even if that was there it didn’t mean his eyes didn’t wander.  
  
And it didn’t mean he could keep away from temptation. She wasn’t exactly ready to be completely secure in that portion of her trust for him or in their relationship. Her past told her to be as guarded as possible, in case all the platitudes he had given her turned out to be false in the end.  
  
But it was heartening to see Alex turn to the woman who resembled a twig and forcibly remove her arm from where it had slunk much too casually around his back. The brunette sniffed haughtily and sauntered away to find different prey… and it appeared as though Ryan was the next on her list.  
  
Alex watched her go with a look of disgust on his face instead of longing. He shook his head and started to turn back to the group of people with whom he had been talking, but she caught his eyes and he stopped. Without excusing himself from the group of hangers-on, he started over to her.  
  
“I’ll catch you later,” Benny said, turning to Tess.  
  
“I suppose I should go find Sam,” Tess said with a laugh. “Have fun in Sweden… and if you’re going to be there longer than expected, remember that I’d be more than happy to babysit Harry if your mom can’t.”  
  
Benny laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind. You could invite Sam over and test out his parenting skills.”  
  
Tess rolled her eyes. “We haven’t even slept together. I don’t think we need to put the cart before the horse, thank you very much.”  
  
“But that means you’ve at least _thought_ about it with him,” Benny said.  
  
“Go see your husband. I’m sick of your meddling.” Tess waved her off and walked away in the opposite direction.  
  
Benny giggled and turned back to look for Alex, where he now stood with Stephen and Anna. She left her table and walked to them, Anna actually smiling brightly at her for a change. Benny liked Anna, but Anna always had a very standoffish personality, especially with some of those people she deemed under her. Normally she was nice and businesslike on set, but she was well aware that the show didn’t really go anywhere if there wasn’t Sookie.  
  
And it surprised her even more when Anna pulled her into a long hug, squealing with delight. Anna stepped back and grinned. “Congratulations!.”  
  
“Er… thank you,” Benny said.   
  
Stephen replaced Anna by hugging her to his chest, and Benny had no other option but to hug back. Not that it was so terrible. Alex was long and lean and Stephen was small, compact and hard. It was just surprising. Of all the people in the world she expected to act like this, she had not expected Stephen or Anna because they were both so protective of their friend.  
  
“I knew you two were drunk when you left the party, but I didn’t think you were that drunk,” Stephan said. “But what I would have given to see you exchange vows in what you were wearing.”  
  
“We don’t even remember it,” Benny laughed, thinking of the sight they must have made.  
  
“Well, I’m glad you’re making a go for it anyway,” Anna said. “You two seem so great together, and I’m happy that Alex isn’t moping around anymore whenever I love on Stephen.”  
  
Benny smiled. “He was moping?”  
  
“Honey, he’s been in love with you since the first time you measured his inseam,” Anna said. “Add to that a man bellyaching about not having a girlfriend—it’s just really nice to not have to listen to it anymore.”  
  
“Hey!” Alex defended. “I wasn’t that bad.”  
  
Stephen laughed and clapped his hand on Alex’s back. “Yes, you were, mate.”  
  
Alex frowned and finally wrapped an arm around her, placing a soft kiss on her lips. “How’d you like it?”  
  
“The show?” Benny asked.   
  
“Yes,” he said.  
  
“Well, the costumes I worked on were great,” Benny said, trying desperately to keep a straight face. “But there wasn’t nearly enough Eric.”  
  
Alex laughed at her. “Of course.”  
  
Benny looked at Stephen. “But your bromance with him is spot on.”  
  
Stephen chuckled. “I thought we’d talk to the producers and see if we can’t get something in there about our love if we have a third season.”  
  
“That will throw everyone off,” Benny laughed.  
  
“When you’re both back in LA, we’re going to have you over for dinner,” Anna said. “And your son is welcome, too. Alex has told us so much about him already.”  
  
“Dinner sounds awesome,” Benny said. “But speaking of Harry… do you have a moment, Alex?”  
  
“Several, in fact, and only for you,” he replied with a wiggle of his brows. Benny rolled her eyes.  
  
Stephen and Anna both smiled once more as they left their side to go see to the other guests. Benny looked up her husband. Before he allowed her to say anything, he leaned down and kissed her squarely on the lips for a long, drawn out moment. When at last he pulled away, she was nearly out of breath and there were people standing all around them looking on curiously while others shot them looks of hatred.  
  
No, Benny was pretty sure she would never get used to this. When she had been with JC, it had been on a much smaller scale and she had never really warmed to the fact that so many people disliked her because she had stolen the man of their fancy. This… this was a whole different kettle of fish.  
  
“What’s up?” he asked.  
  
“Oh, uh,” she said, shaking her head and laughing at herself for allowing her thoughts to take her concentration off Alex. “I was going to tell you that I think I’m headed home. I have some last minute things to do and I want to spend some time with Harry. This is the longest I’ll have been away from him ever.”  
  
Alex nodded. “Of course. How did you get here?”  
  
“Taxi,” she said. “I didn’t know how much I’d end up drinking.”  
  
“Good thinking,” he laughed.   
  
Benny shrugged. “Yeah, I don’t trust myself drinking any more after Vegas.”  
  
Alex grinned and wrapped an arm around her as they walked through the Paramount lots to the exit where the chauffeurs and cab drivers sat waiting for their clients. Benny started for a cab, but Alex held her back, signaling to a portly man standing beside a black Town Car. The man went around getting in the car and Alex looked down at her.  
  
“I’m going to be here for at least a couple more hours,” he said by way of explanation. The car came around and stopped, the driver exiting again. “This is Tony. He always seems to drive me around these days.”  
  
Tony laughed as he walked to the back passenger door and opened it.  
  
“Tony, please take Benny wherever she asks,” Alex said.  
  
Benny looked up at her husband. “I can take a taxi, Alex. I’m a little out of the way.”  
  
Alex shook his head. “Get in the car, Benny.”  
  
She frowned and sighed, but didn’t want to argue about it in front of everyone, especially when they didn’t know the extent of their relationship. Benny leaned up and kissed him before climbing in the car and relaxing back into the extremely plush seats. Tony shut the door and turned to Alex who tried to surreptitiously hand over a wad of cash that Tony took and pocketed as he walked around the car to the driver’s seat.  
  
“Where are we headed, miss?” he asked, looking in the rearview mirror.  
  
“Head toward Orange,” she said.  
  
He nodded and started out of the lot and toward the freeway. Benny felt odd. Here she was with this strange man driving her around in this car that was probably worth more than she made in any given year, and she didn’t know the protocol of the situation. She’d been in a limo a grand total of two times in her life, and both times it had been a stretch with a sliding divider between the driver and passenger cabin, thereby making it unimportant that she communicate with the driver. Did she engage the man in conversation?  
  
“You work for Paramount?” Tony asked, breaking the silence.  
  
“For HBO,” she said. “I’m a costumer for True Blood.”  
  
“Oh, okay,” he nodded and she saw him smile as though he were thinking to himself about a happy memory.  
  
“You wouldn’t happen to be the one in wardrobe Mr. Skarsgård couldn’t get to notice him, are you?” he asked.  
  
Good lord. Had he told everyone of his plight? And had she really been that clueless? “I think you already know the answer to that.”  
  
Tony laughed.  
  
“How long have you been driving for Alex?” Benny asked.  
  
“Oh, I’d say for about a year and half,” he said. “My company is the one his manager uses all the time, but after I drove for him a few times, it became my unofficial job because I know where his house is and everything.”  
  
Benny nodded. “Practical.”  
  
Silence passed for some time until Tony spoke again. “He really loves you.”  
  
“What do you mean?” Benny asked.  
  
‘I heard him talking on the phone to someone and telling them to stop calling him, and he explained why,” he said.  
  
Benny frowned. What was going on that Alex wasn’t telling her? Was it an ex? A one night stand? Or, painful as it was to think about, a mistress he’d had before getting involved with her?  
  
“I know it’s not my place, miss, but you shouldn’t worry,” he said. “I’ve been doing this for twenty years and have driven all likes of celebrities around… hardly any of them are as good a guy as Mr. Skarsgård is. I don’t think you should have to worry about anything with him.”  
  
Benny smiled. “Thank you.”  
  
She sighed and turned to look out the window, watching the Los Angeles night passing her by.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18  
  
Alexander reached the end of a chapter in his book and closed it, looking around him and landing on the prone form to his right. Benny lay stretched out in her reclining seat, a blanket pulled up to her chin, a pillow beneath her head and a light-blocking mask covering her eyes. He laughed at the sight, but also couldn’t help the emotional swelling he felt in his heart as he looked at her and realized she was his. He was so completely in love it almost hurt him to think about it, but it was also an exceptionally exhilarating feeling.  
  
Nothing could make him more excited to be taking her home—even if half his family was at odds over this marriage. Bringing Benny home felt right, though. More right than anything else in the world.  
  
He’d never felt like this before, of that he was certain. He’d always been an affectionate boyfriend in the past, but he’d never had this urge to hold and not let go. Nor had he felt this need to pamper someone. To tell someone she was beautiful all the time, even on those occasions when she had just woken up and truly looked frightening.  
  
The strongest—and probably the most pervasive—sense that she had somehow brought out in him lay in a need to protect her from everything. From physical and emotional pain, from idiot exes and anyone else who sought to hurt her, including those people who had said things to him after she left the party last night. He’d never been particularly concerned about how his past relationships dealt with his fame. He just hadn’t cared.  
  
But now he did care more than ever. He knew what the press would do to her. In Hollywood alone, it may not have been so horrible, but now that they would be in Sweden, it was a completely different game.  
  
Everyone in Sweden knew him. They often bombarded him with their inquisitions and interest. It was why he stopped acting for a time, after all, but as his father’s notoriety grew, so did his family’s, and he had decided he might as well act even though people would recognize him.  
  
He knew from past experience how people in Sweden could be regarding significant others. Most of the time, they wouldn’t say anything about it. They’d leave him alone and let him do as he pleased, but they would look at him like a goldfish in a fishbowl. And they would look at Benny, too, under a research-grade microscope. These looks, even more than words, could sting. He didn’t want Benny to have to deal with that, especially when he knew how much she would deal with just in Hollywood.  
  
Yet, he didn’t know if he should warn Benny about this or not. If he told her about it, then she might focus on it and completely psych herself out while in Sweden. If he didn’t tell her about it, it might take her completely by surprise and overwhelm her. How did one even say it? Oh, by the way, the Swedish people are going to crucify you for being American and marrying one of Sweden’s “national treasures”? Oh, yeah, that sounded like a plan.  
  
Alex sighed and closed his eyes. He just had to remain positive. Everything would be fine. They would miraculously understand. He just had to be positive.  
  
He opened his eyes to find the flight attendants coming up the aisle, leaning over and speaking lowly with passengers that the plane would land in Stockholm in about an hour. If they needed to refresh, now was the time to do it. Alex leaned over and rested his hand on Benny’s arm. She stirred instantly, pulling her mask up and looking at him.  
  
“Hmm?” she asked lazily.  
  
“We’re landing soon,” he said. “In case you want to go to the bathroom or anything.”  
  
Benny slowly went about righting herself and fully waking up. She yawned into her hand. “How long have I been out?”  
  
“Since about an hour outside of New York,” he replied.  
  
“Did you sleep at all?” she asked.  
  
He laughed, knowing he probably looked haggard. “I dozed a bit here and there. I can’t sleep on planes. Besides, I’m usually working… and it helps me get back into the sleep schedule since a usual trip is about twenty to twenty-four hours with the time changes and everything.”  
  
Benny yawned into her hand. “I haven’t been a very good traveling partner.”  
  
“No worries,” he said with a smile. “You should get your sleep when you can. Once we get to Öland, you’ll be lucky to sleep much, especially if everyone is actually there that said they planned to be.”  
  
“Everyone?” she asked.  
  
He nodded. “Yeah, I think the whole family will be there. My mom might even show up… but she’ll probably just be down for a day and then drive us back up to Stockholm that night.”  
  
“That’s not a very relaxing environment if you need to look rested to shoot,” she said.  
  
He smiled. “I’m not shooting this week. When I do start after you go home, that’ll be another story. But it’ll just be my mom and Valter then.”  
  
Benny yawned again and dug for her carry on bag, lifting it up into her lap. “I’ll be back.”  
  
“Chances are, I’ll be here,” he replied.  
  
She laughed. “You know, I’m disappointed in you. Not once have you mentioned the Mile High Club.”  
  
He grinned wolfishly. “Doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about it… repeatedly.”  
  
“Oh?”  
  
“But I don’t really feel like getting caught and thrown in jail,” he said. “And have you ever tried stuffing a six-foot-four Swede in one of those bathrooms? Imagine that with someone else.”  
  
Benny giggled. “I haven’t had the occasion to try.”  
  
“I promise you if one of us gets rich enough one day to charter our own Leer, we will join the Club _multiple_ times,” he said.  
  
“Promise?”  
  
“Yes,” he replied.  
  
“I’ll look forward to it,” she said and stood, stretching out. Benny leaned down over him and kissed his lips before heading down the aisle with her bag.   
  
God, was she perfect. And he was utterly in love. Now he just had to convince his family of that.  
  
\---  
  
Benny sighed, watching the scenery pass her by. So far, for what she had seen upon landing at the small airport in Kalmar and the short drive over to Öland, it had been beautiful. The air was crisp even in June. This time in Los Angeles, one had to contemplate wearing a gas mask and hop from air conditioner to air conditioner because of the poor air quality and growing heat. Sweden appeared clean and fresh, the seventy degree weather refreshing. As they grew closer to their destination, Benny was glad they had given them a Land Rover as a rental instead of one of those tiny compact cars, especially when they turned off onto an unpaved road.  
  
At last they came into a small clearing of trees and there lay an old-fashioned bungalow house attached to a much more modern looking structure, but still older. Still further beyond that, Benny could just make out the edge of what looked to be the barn Alex had described to her. He pulled to a stop along a line of cars—three Audis, a Mercedes, and Sweden’s equivalent of a Jeep—and turned the car off.  
  
“So, everyone is here.”  
  
Benny looked at him. “Don’t say it like it’s such a bad thing.”  
  
Alex sighed and opened his door. “You’d be surprised how bad it can be.”  
  
She shook her head and got out of the car, stretching her arms over her head and attempting to pull herself together. A sudden spate of nervousness overtook her, though, nearly obliterating her confidence. This was so very important and would be a huge indicator of the peacefulness and happiness of the rest of her marriage to Alex. Though he wouldn’t admit, he was extremely close to his family and if they didn’t like her, then there would be trouble. If it didn’t go well, there was no telling what the longevity or happiness of their marriage would be.  
  
The creaking of hinges stole her attention and she turned toward the sound to see people coming out of the house. One was the very tall, very menacing looking man who she knew instantly as Stellan Skarsgård. The second was a younger, short, spritely woman with black hair and a kind smile.  
  
Despite the look on Stellan’s face, she felt welcomed by the woman. Especially when the woman opened her arms to her and pulled her into a hug.  
  
“Welcome to Sweden, my dear,” said the woman, the light Irish lilt in her voice pleasant to hear. “It’s so nice to meet you!”  
  
Benny pulled back and smiled. “Thank you.”  
  
“I’m Megan,” the woman said. “Stellan’s wife.”  
  
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Benny said.  
  
Megan leaned into her and turned her toward Stellan and Alex, who were eyeing each other warily. “Don’t let him scare you, love. He’s a big gruff bear with a hard exterior, but a big softy on the inside.”  
  
“I hope you’re right, because I’m scared after what Alex told me,” she said.  
  
“Stellan needs to suck it up and accept what has happened,” Megan said flatly. “He will because I have a good feeling about you.”  
  
Benny grinned. “At least someone does. Now if he’ll listen to your intuition, I’d be great.”  
  
“Oh, he will,” Megan said with a wink. “Or he won’t find admittance to the bedroom. And trust me, if there is one way to get a Skarsgård to yield to you, it’s by telling them they won’t get to take off their clothes.”  
  
She laughed loudly at Megan, having found a kindred spirit. She knew Alex didn’t necessarily like that his father had married a woman who was so young, but it was nice to have a woman who was, apparently, around her age. Especially a woman who had very recently had to go through the same “winning-over” process in which Benny currently found herself.  
  
She and Megan stopped when they reached the men, who had obviously spoken tersely to each other. The elder Skarsgård turned to look at her, and in no kind fashion.  
  
“Benny, this is my dad, Stellan,” Alex introduced. “Dad, my… uh… wife, Benny.”  
  
“Just Benny?” he asked.  
  
Benny shook her head. “No, actually it’s short for Bernadette.”  
  
He grunted in recognition. Benny didn’t have to be a rocket scientist to notice the unease and iciness coming from him. Her nervousness returned tenfold, though. She felt Alex’s arm go around her and pull her close.  
  
“Where is everyone else?” Alex asked. She was glad that he was speaking in English for her benefit.  
  
“Your brothers are down at the dock,” Megan said. “And Eija is grooming horses. Ossian is asleep, thank goodness.”  
  
“Oh, is that the new one?” Benny asked.  
  
Megan nodded and smiled. “Just in April. Come on inside and we’ll get you two settled. I’m sure you’re tired.”  
  
“I think Alex is probably more so than I am,” she said. “I slept from New York. He can sleep while I go for a nice long walk. I hate being cooped up in a plane for so long.”  
  
Before Benny knew it, she had been given the quick tour of the rustic main house and newer addition. She also ascertained that there was, indeed, running water into the house. However, it was only one bathroom to service many people. So it explained why most everyone just gave up and went to the outhouse outside, or ran to the lake for a quick, freezing dip in the lake rather than truly bathing.  
  
According to Alex, with a bunch of men and boys around in the Skarsgard brood for generations, there really hadn’t been a huge need for private facilities until his mother had requested it for Eija’s sake. She would thank My when they finally met. Though Benny had lived with much more rustic facilities before, and would have done it again if need be, she liked her creature comforts.  
  
Finally, they made it to the last room in the house that would be theirs. They set their luggage down and it was but a matter of minutes before Alex had collapsed headlong onto the bed and fell fast asleep. Megan went to check on Ossian and take a nap, and Stellan left to go to the grocery store, so Benny wandered around the house a bit more before taking her expedition to the outside. She found the Skarsgård property to be quite extensive, and she was exhausted before she even got to the docks she heard lots of male yelling.  
  
She came out onto the cleared path, looking down the dock and seeing men in question splashing around in the water. The ones that were distinctly Skarsgård were easy to pinpoint, but there were a few others there.  
  
Instead of waiting for Alex to introduce to her, she moved down the dock slowly, relishing in the fact that all the men—even the youngest—stopped and looked at her. And they didn’t look at her as though she were the scourge of the Earth. Rather, they looked upon her appreciatively. If she was not mistaken, one let out a low wolf whistle.  
  
The eldest spoke in Swedish to her, but she didn’t have to understand it to know that what was said was lewd. Laughing from the others told her that.  
  
“Sorry, I have no idea what you’re saying,” she replied back.  
  
The mood in the air changed instantly, because all of the Skarsgårds knew instantly who she was. Actually, it appeared everyone in the water or lounging on the shore knew who she was.  
  
“Where’s Alexander?” the oldest asked again, his accent thick.  
  
“Sleeping,” she said. “I came out to investigate. I didn’t mean to interrupt. I just thought I’d say hello and introduce myself.”  
  
He got out of the water and dried off haphazardly on the towel, walking to her and offering her his hand. “I’m Gustaf. But they usually call me Gurra. I also answer to Skarspawn #2, but my father hates that term.”  
  
“It’s nice to meet you, Gustaf,” she said. “I’m Benny.”  
  
“Welcome to the fold, Benny,” he said with a small smile. Though he was welcoming, he was not nearly as welcoming as Megan had been. Clearly the Skarsgårds were a tight knit clan and were determined to be reserved about her before she proved otherwise. At least she could work with that—it was better than the out-and-out disapproval she had received from their father.  
  
But she couldn’t really be angry about it. She _had_ married their family member very suddenly. And as Stellan had said to Alex when Alex had told him—for all they knew she _could_ have been out for the leg up in the world of celebrity rather than his love.  
  
“That little one is Valter,” Gustaf said, pointing. “That’s Sam, and that one’s Bill. The other ones aren’t important right now.”  
  
“Hi guys,” Benny said, waving to them.   
  
They each nodded their heads.  
  
“I really didn’t mean to interrupt. I’m just going to continue on my way,” she replied.  
  
“Nonsense. You’re a part of the family now, so you have every right to butt in. Lord knows Skarsgårds die if they’re not allowed to butt into things,” Gustaf said.   
  
“Benny!”  
  
She turned at Alex’s call as he strode up the long dock. “What are you doing up so soon?”  
  
“I’ve been out for two hours,” he said. “I don’t want to oversleep. Then I won’t go to bed tonight.”  
  
“It’s okay, baby, I’ll make sure you go to bed,” she replied with a wink.  
  
Alex laughed and Gurra seemed surprised by her comment, but pleasantly.  
  
“You already sound like an old married couple,” Gustaf said, hugging his brother in greeting.  
  
Alex turned to her. “So you’ve met everyone?”   
  
“I have,” she said. “Well, not Eija. I didn’t make my way to the stables yet.”  
  
“Megan was looking for you,” he said.  
  
Benny sighed, knowing what he truly meant. He wanted to talk to his brothers without her around. “Cool, I was headed back anyway. I’ll see you later, Skarspawns!”  
  
Alex rolled his eyes and Gustaf burst out laughing. Benny winked and turned, starting back for the cabin.  
  
\----  
  
“So?” Alex asked, looking at his brother. Though they were about as polar opposite from each other as two could get, he counted on Gurra’s opinion more than any of his other siblings. While his other siblings would all have valid opinions, Gurra was the one that knew him best and wasn’t afraid to tell him the truth. He was also known for keeping prejudiced conjectures out of his opinions.  
  
Gurra reached up and scratched his forehead with his thumbnail. “I only said like five things to her, Alex. We’ve got what? A week to get to know her? Give us time.”  
  
“Yeah,” Alex said quietly, looking at the rest of his brothers and family friends who were now back to rough housing. Never before had he cared so much about something like this. He wanted everything to go as perfectly as possible, both because he was excited about this new arrangement and he wanted the rest of his family to be as crazy about Benny as he was. He also knew that if there was any kind of stress from his family members, there was a good chance they wouldn’t succeed in a marriage.  
  
“How’d Dad do meeting her?” Gurra asked.  
  
Alex snorted and ran a hand through his hair. “How do _you_ think he was?”  
  
Gurra chuckled ruefully. “That good, hm? But let’s be honest, Alex. The only person’s approval who really matters is Mom’s.”  
  
“Yeah,” Alex said, “but it would be nice to have Dad’s, too. I have both of Benny’s parents’ tentative approval. I want Benny to have the same from mine.”  
  
“You really are in love with her, aren’t you?” Gurra asked quietly, meeting his eyes and holding his gaze for awhile. He smiled and shook his head.  
  
“I do. A lot,” he said. “It’s kinda crazy.”  
  
And Alex couldn’t believe he was bashful about it.  
  
Gurra laughed and punched his shoulder, slipping an arm around his neck and pulling him toward the lake. “Come on. The water’s not too cold. Your wife won’t complain about much shrinkage.”  
  
“Thanks, Gurra. Always looking out for me, little brother,” Alex said with a laugh, taking his shirt off and dropping it on the ground.  
  
He was glad to be home, and some of his nervousness had evaporated with the way Gurra was acting, but he still worried. He still had a protective mother and father to win over, an even more protective sister, and three more brothers who were yet to be heard from.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19  
  
Benny walked into the cabin. Megan and Stellan talked lowly and sharply to each other, but they stopped when they heard the thwap of the screen door shutting. Stellan turned to look at her and harrumphed, stalking away from them and into the room that was the one he presumably shared with Megan. The room next to hers and Alex’s.  
  
She wasn’t an idiot. She knew she wasn’t Stellan’s favorite person in the world at the moment, but she had never pictured him to be so cold. The least he could have done was stick around a little longer and try to speak with her. If Stellan never spoke to her, how would he realize she wasn’t a famewhore and that she hadn’t married Alex because of whom he was and who he probably would become? How could she make him see otherwise?  
  
Megan blew air from her lips, shifting her short, dark hair from her eyes. “Sorry.”  
  
“No worries,” Benny said. “Alex said you were looking for me?”  
  
“I was,” Megan said as she sorted through the bags of groceries and began putting them away. “I just thought you might like some female company. We women have to stick together in these parts. There’s far too much testosterone.”  
  
Benny laughed. “I’m so used to holding my own around men. My father owns an acting troupe that does jousting at renaissance faires. I grew up around emotionally closed off and gruff men with too much testosterone my whole life. It was just me and my mom for a long time.”  
  
“Jousting?” Megan asked. “Like with the sticks and horses and everything?”  
  
“The very same,” Benny replied.  
  
“Oh, some castles in England still hold tournaments,” Megan said.   
  
Benny smiled. “My dad doesn’t do the tournaments. They’re all actors and stuntmen and put on shows. They call it ‘theatrical jousting’.”  
  
“So you come from a family of actors?” she asked.  
  
“Everyone I know is in the business,” Benny said. “I’ve tried to get away from it for so long, but it keeps pulling me back in.”  
  
Megan laughed. “I know what you mean. I mean, I’ve not tried to get out of it, but that’s because I’m so entrenched in it now.”  
  
“What do you do?”  
  
“Set design,” she replied. “I met Stellan while we were doing Mamma Mia.”  
  
Benny couldn’t help the stupid grin on her face. “I loved the movie adaption. My friend and I saw it like eight times in the theater.”  
  
Megan laughed. “Do you want anything to drink? We’ve pretty much got wine, water, beer, or juice.”  
  
“Um… water?” Benny asked.   
  
Megan poured her a glass and motioned to Benny to sit at the table near the kitchen while she started preparing dinner. “We’re having some good, hearty Irish stew… it takes awhile. Stellan’s the better cook, but he obviously has his knickers in a twist, so I’m making dinner tonight.”  
  
“Is there anything I can help with?” Benny asked. A piercing cry sounded through the cabin and the baby monitor on the counter.  
  
“Yeah, entertain Ossian for me,” she said, leaving for a few moments. Benny listened to Megan cooing to the baby on the monitor and felt her chest clench at the sound. Despite all the shit with JC, Benny wouldn’t have traded being a mother for anything else in the world. She had to admit that hearing the crying infant and a cooing mother made her miss having a small baby. Harry didn’t need her like that now. Obviously, Harry was still pretty dependent, but he was quickly becoming his own person, with his own attitude and his own voice.  
  
Megan reappeared with the bundled baby, moving deftly around the kitchen. “Can you feed him for me? I pumped a little while ago, so I’m a little sore and can’t breastfeed right now. Then I can get dinner on.”  
  
“Sure,” Benny said.  
  
Megan grinned and stepped over to her, offering the infant to her. Benny took Ossian and rested him close to her chest, looking down at the bundle for the first time. There was no doubt that he was a Skarsgård, but he had Megan’s black Irish coloring and eyes.  
  
“Well, aren’t you handsome,” she said, adjusting him to get comfortable. Megan went about warming a bottle for Ossian and then returned, handing it to her. Benny was then lost in her own little world, watching him eat. “I miss this.”  
  
“Hmm?” Megan asked, looking up from peeling potatoes.  
  
“I miss having a baby,” Benny replied. “Holding one… feeding one.”  
  
Megan paused a moment, a question on her lips, but she turned back to the potatoes again. She got through two more before she turned back to her. “Do you have a child?”  
  
Benny nodded. “My son, Harrison. He’ll be two next month.”  
  
“Oh, lord,” Megan said. “Alexander didn’t say anything about that. I mean, not that I blame him, the way he rushed out of here. But that does complicate matters a little bit, doesn’t it?”  
  
“I’m sorry. I thought everyone knew,” Benny said. Her moment of relaxation had evaporated and now replacing her calm was renewed worry about telling everyone this news. Now this would make her look even worse in Stellan’s eyes.  
  
Megan shook her head. “No! Don’t be sorry about it. Honestly. I want to hear all about him, but it’s going to add a bit of awkwardness with Stellan. That is, until Stellan meets your son. Children and animals are Stellan’s weak spots.”  
  
“Well, then, hopefully this will all turn out okay and I can have them meet,” Benny said. Ossian had drained his bottle, so she placed the baby on her shoulder to burp him. She and Megan fell into silence as her hostess went back to work. It was companionable enough, though Benny could tell a lot was going through Megan’s mind.   
  
It wasn’t long after when Skarsgård men started barreling into the house making a huge racket, each in various states of undress and dryness. Ossian grew restless and pouty with all the noise.  
  
“I’m going to go play with him somewhere a little quieter.”  
  
Megan nodded and smiled at her. Benny left the room, cooing and singing to Ossian as they walked through the hall toward her bedroom. It was the only assuredly quiet place to play. First, she picked up a few toys on a table and took them into the room with them. There, she sat cross-legged on the bed and laid Ossian in front of her, playing with his toys.  
  
This interaction only made her realize how much she missed Harrison, whom she hadn’t had a chance to speak with since she left the previous morning. It also made her acutely aware that she wanted another baby. She had sworn off any more children after Harry, and not because it was painful or too much trouble. It was just the fact that having another child meant having a relationship with a man. And she hadn’t wanted to mess with that any more.  
  
However, now that Alex was in the picture, and presumably for a good amount of time, she realized that she could actually start thinking about such a thing. Did she really want more children? Did Alex want many children? She knew the Skarsgård family through history had been really into big families. Would Alex only feel comfortable with such a large one of his own? Or was he willing to compromise?  
  
Benny really couldn’t believe what a one-eighty her life had taken in the past few months. She would have laughed in someone’s face had they told her she would be in Sweden, in Stellan Skarsgård’s family cabin, married to Alex and contemplating babies with Alex.  
  
The door creaked open behind her and Alex stepped into the room and beside her, peering down at Ossian who smiled and laughed at the newcomer. Benny glanced up at her husband and he bent to kiss her quickly. “Did you have fun?”  
  
“Of course,” he said, tossing the shirt in his hand into the corner. He lay on the sizable bed behind her, resting up on one elbow to peer down at his brother. After a few moments, he sighed heavily. “I still find it hard to believe my brother is this young.”  
  
“Do you have trouble with that or with the fact that your dad married someone slightly younger than you?” she asked.  
  
Alex smiled slightly. “I love Megan, but yes, I do have problems with it. It’s just a little weird. I thought Dad was going through some midlife crisis or something.”  
  
Benny nodded. “Well, then, you and your dad have something in common. You’re not okay with each other’s respective relationships. Of course, your father doesn’t like me on principle, so that’s not really the same because you like Megan.”  
  
“He’ll get better,” Alex said softly, kissing her arm and placing his free hand on her hip, squeezing her reassuringly. “I promise.”  
  
“I hope,” Benny said.  
  
Ossian let them know he wasn’t happy without all the attention on him and started fussing, but Benny knew he was getting tired. His eyes were already drooping. She left the bed and picked him up, cradling and rocking him in her arms as she paced the small room. Ossian was incredibly easy to lull to sleep. As she readjusted him, she caught a glimpse of Alex who still lay on the bed, but he was watching her closely with a contemplative look on his face. She didn’t have to be a mind reader to know what he might be considering.  
  
But he didn’t say anything. He merely smiled happily and lay back on the bed.  
  
“I’m going to go put him down,” she said and left the room to find Megan and ask her where she wanted the baby to nap.  
  
\---  
  
Alexander sighed to himself, looking up at the flat white paint on the ceiling of their room, trying to get the images that had invaded his mind to vanish. He had for quite a while now wanted his own brood of children, but even though he now found himself married and had Harry, he couldn’t really waste too much time thinking about expanding the family. First, because he and Benny were still on very unstable ground. Secondly, because he had a feeling things were just starting to take off and become hectic for him. Bringing a new child into the world now would be a lot of trouble. Of course, if Benny _was_ pregnant, he would love the child all the same, but if they were planning it, he couldn’t plan it for now.  
  
At least he didn’t think he could. Could he? There was still so much left to figure out between him and Benny, he didn’t know if they were ready for that sort of commitment yet. Perhaps he could start by officially making Harrison his son. Maybe that was a best course of action.  
  
But he wouldn’t lie and say that seeing Benny holding a baby in his arms didn’t induce his own imagination to contemplating a child they had created together being in Ossian’s place. He knew he would love Harry as his own, but he wanted some of his own biological progeny, too, if he could.  
  
He closed his eyes, listening to the muffled Swedish in the background, interspersed with English for Megan’s benefit, as the Irish woman scolded and mothered them all… even though she was only a few years older than a few of his brothers. He liked Megan well enough and knew that she made his father happy. He shouldn’t really complain about it, even if Megan was his age. Everyone was happier now than they had been when his mother and father were still married. And that was a vast improvement.  
  
Alexander realized he’d never actually told his father he was happy for him and Megan. Or that he had gotten over the age difference. Or the several other hang-ups he had about Megan. Maybe he should start by doing that. Perhaps, then, his father would be able to look at Benny objectively.  
  
Possibly.  
  
Maybe.  
  
Probably not.  
  
The door to the room clicked shut and he opened his eyes in enough time to find Benny coming around the side of the bed. She crawled onto it and threw a leg over his hips. Just to cause him delightful pain, she shifted against him, glorious friction doing what she wanted to his anatomy.  
  
He grinned and reached up, running his hands into her hair and using that leverage to pull her down to meet his lips. They kissed for a long time until she moved back, bracing herself with hands on his bare shoulders as she lay over him. Alexander slipped his hands down her back and cupped her sizable, wonderful behind, pushing her hips down to create more friction.   
  
He’d always liked naturally curvy women, but he liked healthy women. Unfortunately, the women he was surrounded with a daily basis—that is, until he met Benny—were of the thin variety and thus could usually only achieve curves through patronage to plastic surgery. He’d freely admit to fleeting relationships with very thin models with no curves, and a few Playboy-type characters. However, whenever he’d slept with them, he always felt like he might break them. Though he was thin himself, he felt like a giant with big oafish qualities with these women beneath him.  
  
He didn’t have to worry about that with Benny. She was a sturdy though small in stature. Benny personified natural. Some might criticize her for being abnormal in a sea of women who looked like twigs, but he thought her a breath of fresh air.  
  
A very welcome breath of fresh air.  
  
She just didn’t consider herself that. Not when she was faced with designing clothes for women half the size she was.  
  
Benny moved with him, and then sat up. She reached down and pulled her shirt over her head, tossing it to the side. He stopped her hands from reaching behind her to undo the hooks on her bra, taking care of it himself. He threw it in the direction of the shirt. She leaned down to kiss him and he dropped his hands to her hips, digging his fingers into the denim still there.  
  
“This bed is noisy,” Benny said with a light giggle as her lips teased from his lips to his jaw.  
  
“I know,” he replied. “Why do you think Dad put us in here? To try to scare you from doing anything with me.”  
  
“Good thing I’m too horny to care, then,” she replied, slipping her hand into the waistband of his swim trunks, wrapping her delicate hand around his erection.  
  
He hissed into her mouth as she kissed him again. “That’s why I like you.”  
  
“Hmm? Is it truly because I don’t care about your father or because I have your cock in my hand?” she jested, brushing her lips down his chin and neck, sucking a moment on his right clavicle.  
  
“I think it could be a… bit… of both,” he struggled to say as she shifted lower, running her teeth across his nipple and then sucking gently. He slipped a hand into her hair as she worked her way to the other nipple, her own hand moving languidly on his now free erection.  
  
Benny hummed to herself. “That’s what I thought.”  
  
She then giggled, running her tongue down his abdomen and stopping a moment to look up at him. He didn’t think there could be anything more erotic than at the moment, seeing her bright blue eyes looking up at him with such a devilish glint. It made him painfully hard. Her tongue laving across his tip, followed by her taking a good deal of him into her hot little mouth only made him more delirious and completely immune to the world around him but for himself, Benny and the squeaky bed.  
  
But he knew he wouldn’t last long at this rate. Not with the quickly building release he felt in his loins. God, he just wanted her to keep going, but he wasn’t in a selfish mood. He wanted her to orgasm as well, because she was so beautiful in that moment of complete abandon when she completely forgot about the real world.  
  
“B,” he said hoarsely. She stopped her ministrations and looked up at him through lowered, thick black eyelashes. “Come here.”  
  
She obeyed and shifted back up him, her taught nipples brushing his chest as she leaned over to kiss him.  
  
He flipped her over easily, and knelt between her thighs, reaching down and undoing her jeans hastily. He grabbed at the waist, pulling her underwear along with the jeans to remove them from her.  
  
She laughed into his mouth as he kissed her again with renewed fervor, resting into the seat of her pelvis that was so deliciously familiar to him now. He didn’t take a moment to pause and began the slow rhythm of moving with her. Her legs lifted and circled around his hips, pulling him deeper yet. This proved his undoing, and he moved more swiftly, her hips meeting him stroke for stroke.  
  
He hadn’t realized how much he needed this until now.  
  
When she let out a low moan followed by a cry of pleasure, he had met her eyes, not realizing until then she had been so close. Seeing her ecstasy pushed him finally over the edge. He let out a low groan as he spent himself inside her.  
  
He fell to her side, wrapping her in his arms and letting out a short laugh as they readjusted and the bed creaked loudly.  
  
“Your dad’s bedroom is right beside this one,” Benny said matter-of-factly, her breathing slowly returning to normal.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“I think we should make love as often as possible these next few days. You know, just to torment him,” Benny replied.  
  
“You’re evil.”  
  
Benny nodded. “That and I fully intend to partake in this Harry-free time to fuck you when I want and not have to plan it.”  
  
Alexander grinned, leaning over to kiss her. “This is why you’re perfect for me.”  
  
She giggled, resting into his arms again.  
  
“Speaking of Harry…”  
  
He knew he shouldn’t bring up, but it was out of his mouth before he could stop it.  
  
“I’m not ready for more kids yet, Alex,” she said. “And we have to wait at least three months as it is. I just got my Depo shot before Joie’s wedding.”  
  
“Oh,” he said. “Okay.” He didn’t know if she should be relieved or saddened by the news. He truly was torn.  
  
“We’ll talk about it some other time,” she said softly. “I’m very tired right now.”  
  
He yawned at her words. “As am I.”  
  
“We’re going to fuck up the sleep schedule if we fall asleep,” she said.   
  
“I don’t care so long as you don’t leave the room,” he replied.  
  
Benny smiled, her eyes closed. “Then I won’t.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**  
  
Stellan watched his eldest son and the newest addition to their family from across the room, completely disgusted with how they were acting. Not that he was prudish or anything, but he just wasn’t happy with the situation in front of him.   
  
Yet, he found, the sad part about it all was that he couldn’t even explain why he was so disgusted with it.   
  
Yes, he worried for Alexander’s wellbeing and that he might be taken advantage of, but he also trusted his son to make decisions regarding his life. After all, Alexander was thirty-three now. He’d started making his own decisions when he turned thirteen. He trusted Alexander to make the right decisions for himself; he’d had no reason to worry about him, particularly recently with his acting career really taking off in the States. He seemed to be making all the right decisions and maintaining a level of privacy and classiness that Stellan hadn’t worried.  
  
But alcohol and the consumption thereof had always been a problem with his son. Well, with all of their family. They were legendary for being completely level-headed and serious most of the time, but once alcohol lessened their inhibitions, things got a little troublesome. This case just proved the point.  
  
Though he knew he had absolutely no _real_ say in how his son acted or reacted to the events in his life, he certainly could be unhappy about it. He knew better than anyone that once Alexander’s mind was made up about something, nothing could make him change his mind. Stellan had often admired that resolve in his son. He wished he could only have the same tenacious spirit.  
  
But not in this case. He wanted his son to be careful. He didn’t want his son hurt, despite the fact that he had long since been put on the sidelines as “Dad”. This woman that no one knew anything about had swooped into his son’s life out of the blue and now his son had every intention of being as tenacious in this undertaking as he was in everything else. That’s what worried Stellan the most; he worried that his son would be consumed by this and not see the warning signs of a woman out for fame and money.  
  
Stellan had never taken easily to new people. It took him a very long time to warm up to them, and in some instances, he saw that in his eldest son as well. But it happened to be much more pronounced in him, and it would take him some time before he could accept this marriage, even if the woman proved to be trustworthy.  
  
As much as it pained him to admit it, Stellan didn’t get the feeling from Alexander’s wife—it was difficult to even think that one of his children was now married!—that she cared particularly much for the Hollywood lifestyle.  
  
It turned out to be a huge point in her favor, but she still had yet to prove such a thing, especially since he knew so little about her background. All he knew was that she was in the business. And that spelled disaster.  
  
Stellan sighed and sipped his wine, glancing around at everyone else. Everyone else had seemed to gradually ease into Benny’s presence, except Eija. Eija had always been particularly protective of her brothers because her brothers were so protective of her. This situation was no different. The meeting between Eija and Benny had been stilted and remained so while the boys—even Ossian—had officially welcomed her to the Skarsgård clan.  
  
Perhaps the biggest part of the problem now was the argument he’d had with Alexander when Alexander had told him what had happened. A good father would have listened and offered advice to his son. Instead, he’d pretty much called Alexander an idiot. Stellan didn’t believe it, but once again he’d let himself say something in the heat of the moment that had hurt more than one person. The remarks Alexander had leveled at him, too, had stung, but he’d deserved all of them. Alexander had remained pretty silent about the whole divorce since it was first announced, and then had taken a strangely removed stance when it came to Megan and Ossian. It had definitely made him think.   
  
Who was he to cast judgment on Alexander’s marital choices when he’d made plenty of mistakes in his past? But that didn’t lessen the sting of Alexander’s words. His son had wounded him deeply.  
  
The worst part about it was that he couldn’t blame Alexander for it.  
  
But he could certainly remain angry about this. About the marriage. About a strange woman being in his house. About the fact that this woman was so fucking American it pained him.  
  
Benny leaned into Alexander and he wrapped his arm more securely around her, turning his head and brushing his lips across her temple affectionately. As Alexander turned back to look at the card game they were watching between Valter and Gurra, Alexander caught his gaze for a moment and then looked away.  
  
Stellan shook his head and got up from his seat, drifting into the kitchen to refill his wine and then out onto the back deck. He enjoyed the quasi-silence of the outdoors, though he could clearly hear his large, loud family hollering at each other from inside the cabin.  
  
It had been quite some time when he heard the door open and close, followed by Benny’s soft American accent. He could just see her around the corner where he was sitting.  
  
“I love you, too,” she spoke sweetly into the cell phone pressed to her head. “I’ll be back soon.”  
  
Stellan pursed his lips. She wouldn’t be so bold as to be talking to another lover while here, would she?  
  
“Yeah, he really seems to miss me,” Benny said sarcastically. Obviously the phone on the other side had been handed to another person. “Are you near the computer? Cool. Let me go see if Alex’s Skype works out here… no, seriously, we’re in the middle of nowhere. I don’t know if his mobile internet works. Alright, I’ll be there in like a half hour. If it doesn’t work, I’ll call.”  
  
She removed the phone from her ear and sighed, looking out on the lake down below, now inky black with the night. Benny turned to step back into the house, but caught sight of him and jumped.  
  
“Jesus, you scared me!” She placed a hand against her heart.   
  
“Sorry,” he said.  
  
“It’s okay,” she said and stepped toward him. “Do you have a moment, actually? We haven’t really said much to each other… and for the sake of your relationship with Alex, I just want to say some things.”  
  
Stellan looked at her, not knowing what to say.  
  
“Look, I know you love Alex and I know you don’t want anything untoward to happen to him,” Benny said. “And I know what you must think about me. I also know that the only way you will ever be a hundred percent certain that I’m not in his life like this to hurt him is through time and deed.”  
  
He nodded.  
  
Benny sighed. “I didn’t intend for this to happen. I didn’t even want to go out with him, but with all due respect, your son is a persistent little bugger.”  
  
Stellan watched her closely. He could see the emotion rising in her, and see her eyes misting.  
  
“But I love him,” she said. “I never thought I’d be able to love anyone like I do him. And if loving him means I have to go away for you and Alex to keep your relationship happy, then so be it. Alex loves you and looks up to you, and I couldn’t be responsible for making your father-son relationship miserable. I just can’t do it.”  
  
She was silent and looked at him intently for a long while. He didn’t quite know what to say to her. One, he was taken aback by her complete openness about the situation, and yet he also admired the quality in her. She didn’t bullshit and that was important. Secondly, he just couldn’t get over the fact that she was willing to step aside because of him.  
  
“I mean, go away from here,” she said. “I don’t intend on leaving him. Ever.”  
  
Stellan sighed and hung his head, looking at his hands. After some time he glanced back up at her. She was different than he had expected. She was strong willed and intelligent, but also had a fiercely loyal side.  
  
And Stellan knew in that instant why she was perfect for Alexander and why Alexander loved her as much as he claimed. She was the woman whom he had always imagined his son marrying.  
  
“Benny,” he started and paused a moment. “I can’t say I’m thrilled with this arrangement, but you are now a part of this family and welcome here even if I’m being… like this. All I ask is that you don’t expect me to be at ease with you until I’m sure you’re not going to do anything to hurt anyone in my family.”  
  
Benny nodded. “I can respect that, sir.”  
  
“It’s Stellan,” he said.  
  
“Stellan,” she said. “If Alex’s video chat works, I’d really like it if you came inside. My parents would like to meet you.”  
  
He felt horrible for thinking the worst about her. “Your parents?”  
  
“Yeah, that’s who I was talking to on the phone,” she said. “Well, them and my son. They’re babysitting while I’m here.”  
  
“You have a son?” he asked. That was new.  
  
Benny nodded. “Megan didn’t have a chance to tell you?”  
  
He shook his head.  
  
“His name is Harrison and he’ll be two next month,” she said. “He hasn’t had a father figure in his life except my dad, and he’s pretty much fallen in love with Alex about as much as I have. Anyway, I’m going to go see if it works. Just think about it.”  
  
He nodded and watched her walk away. This was a mystery to him, but something inside of him softened suddenly. It was a lot to comprehend that his son was a married man now. It was even more difficult to comprehend the fact that his son now technically had a son of his own.  
  
And that he was now a grandfather.  
  
\---  
  
Benny typed in her parents’ Skype account information and waited for the connection to pop up. Taking a deep breath, she pressed the “video call” button. This was probably the only way their families would meet each other for a long time to come, but it was the best she could think of to prove to them that she was completely normal. Besides the fact that she also wanted to show off her own son to Megan who had inquired after him again after dinner.  
  
When Stellan stepped in from outside and shut the door, it made her heart flutter a little. Even Stellan was softening slightly. He wouldn’t openly admit to softening, but she felt relieved after that little chat they’d had outside. At least she could finish this trip in peace now, knowing he didn’t want her gone from the house.  
  
The call was finally answered and her mother appeared on the screen.  
  
“Hey, Mom,” she said.  
  
“Hey,” Trish said and then turned to yell, “Stephan Cowan, get in here. Your daughter’s on the computer.”  
  
Benny rolled her eyes. “Good god, Mom. Can we please try to keep the craziness to a minimum?”  
  
“What craziness?” Trish asked. “You know your dad is hard of hearing.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah,” she said. A peal of Harrison’s squealing laughter filled the speakers on the computer and she saw a bolt of nearly-two-year-old shoot into the room.  
  
“Harry, come here,” her mother said. “Your mommy’s on the computer.”  
  
“Mommy?” he asked.  
  
Her mother lifted Harrison up into her lap and pointed to the computer.  
  
“MOMMY!” he exclaimed. “Where Awex?”  
  
“He’s in the other room,” Benny said, feeling not at all charitable that her son could care less about her.  
  
“Awex!” he exclaimed.  
  
“I’ll go get him, Benny,” Stellan said softly, walking into the other room. This was followed by a stampede of Skarsgård children coming into the dining room, curious to see what was going on.   
  
Alexander came up behind her, placing a hand on her back as he knelt down beside her at the table.  
  
“Awex!” Harry exclaimed, reaching out for the computer screen. Her father came into view then and pulled a chair up beside her mother.  
  
Benny looked back at the group behind her. “Everyone, this is my mom, Trish, and dad, Steve. And Harry, my son.”  
  
“He’s cute,” said Gustav behind her. “But that means I’m an uncle now.”  
  
“We’re all uncles,” Bill replied.  
  
“Uncle Gack!” Harry said.  
  
Benny laughed. “Yes, Harry, you know Uncle Jack. But you have five more _new_ uncles now. And one aunt.”  
  
“Like Auntie Joie?” he asked, obviously not understanding anything that was being said, but that was okay for now.  
  
“Yes, like Auntie Joie,” Benny said.  
  
“Oh. Okay,” Harry said. “Gamma, I play now.”  
  
“Okay, Harry. Stay in here with us, though,” she said, setting him down. They watched as he settled down into a ring of toys. Her mother turned back to the screen. “We’ll meet you all eventually, but it’s nice to see you all.”  
  
Her father nodded his head. “You’ll have to come out to California. We have plenty of room at the ranch.”  
  
“Ranch?” Eija asked.  
  
“My dad breeds horses,” Benny filled in, noticing she had won a little battle with Eija. “And Dad, we’ll talk about that later. I just wanted to see Harry and have you meet Alex’s dad.”  
  
As though it were well orchestrated, the kids moved out of the way and Stellan stepped up behind her. She glanced at Alex, who looked bewildered by this, and she supposed rightly so. As far as he knew, his father hated her and would never do such a thing. But even Alex realized something was up.  
  
“Mom, Dad, this is Stellan,” Benny said.  
  
Her parents looked a little star struck, but her mom was able to speak. “God lord, Benny, is the whole family beautiful?”  
  
“Not a homely one among them, Mom,” Benny laughed.  
  
“Except Sam,” Alex said. “He’s definitely not very pretty.”  
  
“I heard that!” came a voice from the other room.  
  
Benny smiled.   
  
“I don’t think you should worry,” said Stellan. “Your daughter is very attractive, too.”  
  
She felt her face go warm in a blush and tried not to laugh at the completely gobsmacked look on Alex’s face. “Thanks, Stellan.”  
  
“We better go, Benny,” her mother said. “Jack and Lee are going to be over soon to load up horses.”  
  
“Okay,” Benny said. “I’ll talk with you later. I love you.”  
  
“We love you,” her dad said.  
  
“Kiss Harry for me.”  
  
“Will do,” her dad said, getting up and leaving the screen.  
  
Her mother sighed. “He’s been in a weird mood lately. I don’t think he wants go to Wisconsin for the show.”  
  
“Well, tell him he has to,” Benny said. “Later, Mom.”  
  
“Have a good night,” she said. “Love you.”  
  
“Love you, too,” Benny said, hanging up the call.  
  
She looked around her to find that Alex was the only one who had remained there with her. Stellan had drifted back into the main room.  
  
“What is going on, Benny?” he asked. “My dad is being strange. Well, more strange than usual.”  
  
“We talked outside after I took the phone call,” she said. “I think we’ve leveled with each other and will be okay. Now it’s just up to you to repair your problems with your dad, and for everyone to get to know each other… namely, me.”  
  
“I love you, Benny,” he said.  
  
“I know,” she replied. “I think your dad will be receptive to me and my ‘life story’ now. I’d like to do it with everyone there so I don’t have to repeat it again.”  
  
Alex chuckled. “Okay.”  
  
Benny smiled. “Thanks for letting me borrow your computer.”  
  
“No problem,” he said, leaning in and capturing her lips. What was meant to be a completely innocent kiss turned into something not nearly so simple. As he pulled back, he grinned mischievously. “Are you sure you want to go back in there? There’s a comfortably squeaky bed with our names on it in the bedroom.”  
  
“Do you think of nothing else?” she asked.  
  
“I think of a lot things,” he replied. “But not when you kiss me like that.”  
  
“We’ll go back and hang out for a little bit,” she said. “Then we’ll go to bed and annoy your dad all night with the squeaky bed.”  
  
“You’re evil,” he said.  
  
“I know,” she replied.  
  
“And that’s one of the many reasons why I love you.”


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21  
  
Alexander sighed heavily to himself as he watched Benny make her way through airport security, headed back to the US. Their week together in relative comfortable, lazy bliss had come and gone faster than he had ever expected it to. Even with the constant cloud held over them from his father, things had been lovely for the most part. They hadn’t needed to worry about schedules or about paparazzi. Nor did they have to worry about other real life things with Harry well taken care of by his grandmother.  
  
But it also served a very harsh reality that he was just coming to terms with. Despite his intense want to be around a lot of the time, he knew that his life wouldn’t allow him to be the constant figure in both Benny and Harry’s life. He wondered if he was really doing the right thing keeping two people whom he loved in such a holding pattern while he was off gallivanting across the globe. Benny said she understood, but he wondered if she really liked the fact that she understood. With all of her previous trust issues with men who were in the acting profession, he wouldn’t blame. But he wondered if this idyllic little fairytale he had created in his mind would really survive into a real relationship.   
  
This first month apart from each other would test the waters, certainly, especially as they began melding two lives together. Other people date for weeks, some for months, and some even years before they married. They had time to plan out how to combine their lives into one entity, including homes, professional life and eventually family life. This had all been heaped onto them at one time and very suddenly. So suddenly, he didn’t know if the brittle foundations upon which their relationship had been built would hold steady. Could they even hold steady? Stronger relationships had crumbled under less weight.  
  
Strangely, though, Alexander knew he wouldn’t be the one to run amuck and cause pain between them. He truly worried that Benny would wake up one morning, realize the mistake she had made by marrying him and divorce him. Because he knew better than anyone else, he was a huge mistake and he felt he had to work to pull the wool over her eyes in a manner of speaking just so she didn’t leave him.  
  
If he were her, he’d leave himself without a second thought. What person in the world would want to be tied to a man who was hardly ever home, who kept a weird schedule for work, and did other possibly disreputable things for the type of money and notoriety he wanted in the industry? Well, what normal person not searching for money or a share of their significant other’s fame?  
  
He couldn’t find the answer. He hoped she didn’t, either.  
  
“What’s all the forlornness about, Alexander?”  
  
He glanced down at the woman standing to his side. He’d forgotten that his mother was standing there with him.  
  
“I’m worried she won’t be there when I get back to LA,” he said.  
  
His mother smiled softly. “Alexander, she’ll be there. Know how I know?”  
  
“How?” he asked.  
  
“Because she is utterly in love with you,” she replied.  
  
“You think so?”  
  
She nodded. “Women know these things. But it’s up to you to prove all her preconceptions about men wrong.”  
  
“Yeah, I know,” he said.  
  
His mother sighed happily, waving at the group of people. He turned to see Benny smiling brightly before officially disappearing in the crowd of people in the international terminal. His mother smiled. “You know, she’s exactly the type of girl every mother-in-law hopes for in a daughter-in-law.”  
  
“Oh?” he asked.  
  
“Mm-hmm,” his mother said, motioning for him to turn around so they could head back out to the car.  
  
“Well, at least one of my parents likes her,” he said.  
  
“I’m sure she’s not always all sunshine and rainbows to have as a daughter-in-law, but she’s intelligent, compassionate, and family oriented,” My said. “Your father will grow to like her, too. But, alas, he doesn’t have an intuitive bone in his body, so he has to learn to like her. Myself, on the other hand, has the woman’s intuition. I know she’s not going to be trouble or heartache because of who she is or where she comes from.”  
  
Alex nodded to himself, taking another deep breath. “I want to be on that airplane with her.”  
  
“You have a job to do,” his mother reminded. “I know it’s not always going to be fun, but it’s your career, son. She gets that it’s your job after being in the business so long herself.”  
  
“You think?”  
  
“I also think its good you have time apart. Though you’re technically now living one life as a married couple, you still have to have some individual pursuits. If not, you’ll go insane,” she said. “Trust me. Your father and I tried it. It didn’t work to be so wrapped up in each other.”  
  
Alexander nodded and got into the car outside, his mother following on the passenger side. They drove in silence for some time until he finally sighed and looked over at her.  
  
“Do you _really_ like her, Mom?” he asked.  
  
His mother nodded. “I couldn’t have picked a better woman for you to marry, whether you knew her for two years or two hours.”  
  
Alexander nodded his head. “I’m glad I have you on my side.”  
  
“Like I said, your dad is on your side, too,” she said. “Just give him time. And give your brothers and sister time, too.”  
  
“I will,” he said.  
  
More silence passed until she finally looked over at him. “I just can’t believe you’ve gone and made me a grandmother already. I so wasn’t prepared for it.”  
  
“Well, if it’s any consolation, you’re the hottest grandmother around,” he replied.  
  
My laughed at him. “Stop it.”  
  
He grinned. “Do you want to go get some food?”  
  
“Please,” she replied. “I’m famished.”  
  
  
\---  
  
Benny couldn’t have been happier to see the end of the terminal and her mother and Joie standing there with Harrison. Her mother set Harrison down and the tiny boy ran for her full tilt.   
  
“MOMMY!” he shouted.   
  
She dropped her carry on and knelt down to grab him up into her arms, twirling him around and kissing his cheek. “Did you miss me?”  
  
“Yeah,” he said, wrapping his arms securely around her neck. Benny didn’t really want to think about it, but the few times she had spoken with her parents and Harrison over the past week, Harrison hadn’t cared much about her past saying hello and asking where Alex was. It had hurt her deeply, if even just a smidgen, but she knew that this was normal for a two year old. Especially for a two year old who had never had a constant father and now seemed to have that figure in his life. Alex’s new shininess would wear off eventually, much like the toys Harrison received for birthdays and Christmases which were forgotten within a month.  
  
Her mother and Joie hugged her in greeting. Joie looked tanner than when she’d left on her honeymoon and also completely happy with the world as though all was right. Her mother smiled pleasantly with the sereneness only having her husband 1800 miles away from her for two months could bring.  
  
Their thirty year marriage was a good one, relatively speaking, but she knew that though her mother was serene now and liked the solitude of being alone, by the end of the third week, she’d wish she was in Wisconsin as well. Benny hoped that she’d feel the same way with Alexander gone—not that she wanted him away, but that she would want him to return or to be with him after a month or two absent. She knew what it’d been like for the month between Vegas and Joie’s wedding, so she hoped it stayed that way. It made reunion all the more sweet.  
  
They made their way to baggage and then outside to the car with pleasant conversation, mostly Harrison regaling her with a harrowing tale about one of the horses that had slipped a shoe while Jack had been riding.   
  
It wasn’t until they were in the car that Joie was able to ask, “So, how was Sweden?”  
  
“Beautiful,” Benny replied, securing her seatbelt as her mother pulled out of the garage. “How was Bora Bora?”  
  
“I didn’t want to leave,” Joie said. “I could sit on that beach for years and never leave.”  
  
Benny laughed. “I’m sure Josh is glad to know the allure of staying had nothing to do with being with him for an uninterrupted week and a half.”  
  
“Josh knows that my beach time is second to none,” Joie said. “It was a concession he made in the relationship.”  
  
Benny sighed and looked out the window at the heavy California traffic.   
  
Her mother looked back in the rearview mirror. “Why the sigh?”  
  
“Just completely exhausted from the trip. And I wish Alex could have come home with me,” Benny said.   
  
“Where Awex?” Harry interrupted.  
  
“He’s working, baby,” Benny said, leaning over and kissing him. Harrison wiped at his cheek and went back to playing with the police car and fire truck in his hands.  
  
“When’s he coming back?” her mother asked.  
  
Benny pursed her lips. “He’ll be back for a few days at the end of the month. Then he’s back in Sweden for filming. In July he’ll be back for ComiCon, and then stateside for awhile at least.”  
  
“You can do it,” her mother said. “I mean, you survived longer expanses of time without You Know Who, and you two didn’t have the type of relationship you and Alex do.”  
  
Her mother, always the eternal pragmatist.  
  
“Gee, thanks, Mom,” Benny said.  
  
Her mother merely smiled at her in the rearview mirror and turned her attention back to the road. They listened to the radio in silence for a little while longer when Joie finally glanced back at her. “I forgot to tell you… Tess called looking for you. She said she left a message on your cell.”  
  
“About what?” Benny asked.  
  
“She didn’t say exactly, but it sounded important,” Joie said.  
  
Benny sighed. “If she freaked out on Sam again, I have no idea what I’m going to do with her.”  
  
“I don’t think it was that,” Joie said. “She and Sam seemed pretty comfortable with each other at the wedding.”  
  
“Yeah, I guess.” Benny replied, opening her purse to look for her cell phone. Sure enough, the voicemail screen blinked back at her that she had two new messages. She dialed the code and put it to her ear, waiting for the message to pick up.  
  
 _“Hey, Benny, it’s Tess. I’m running around like a madwoman packing up the department for the summer and sitting in meetings about the new season. Oh, yeah, I should probably start with that. We’ve been tentatively greenlit for a third season, but the official statement isn’t going out until ComiCon time. Anyway, I’ve overheard some… interesting things… coming from the higher ups and it concerns you. Call me when you get this. It’s important.”_  
  
Benny erased the message, and listened to the second message.   
  
_"Hello, Benny. This is Audrey. We’re deciding to sort out contracts early and would like to get you in here to meet with me and the execs about the new season. We’d like to set up a time on June 29th. My new cell number is 310-555-0283.”_  
  
“Did she leave you one?” Joie asked.  
  
“Yeah. And so did Audrey,” Benny replied, slipping her phone back into her purse. “They want to meet with me about the new season. I have a bad feeling about this.”  
  
“Why?” her mother asked. “Did Tess say what she wanted to talk about was related?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
Joie turned to look her. “Maybe it’s not what you’re thinking. Maybe they really are just getting their ducks in a row before everyone goes on the summer break.”  
  
“How many years have we been somehow linked with this industry?” Benny asked.  
  
Joie didn’t reply and merely stared right back at her.   
  
“Right. And in all those years, how many times have studios actually done something in advance of making an official press announcement, much less having everything ready to go for filming when it starts?” Benny asked.  
  
Joie shrugged. “Okay, you knew this was going to happen.”  
  
“Yeah, I did,” Benny said. “But not so soon!”  
  
“Well, you’re just going to have to go in there with your head up and take what they give you,” her mother said.  
  
Benny leaned her head back and closed her eyes. “I can’t take the cut in pay not renewing my contract would bring, Mom. With Joie gone, I have all the bills to pay, and then lord knows I’m never going to get anything from You Know Who.”  
  
“You could always go back on the road,” her mother said after a long silence. “Your father would be thrilled.”  
  
“No,” Benny said emphatically. “I can’t do that. Especially not now with Alex.”  
  
Her mother looked at her in the rearview mirror again. “Well, that does bring up a good point. You’re married to Alex now. Where’s he going to live? Are you moving in with him or is he moving in with you?”  
  
“I don’t know, Mom,” she said. “We haven’t really decided. It’s really inconvenient for him to be all the way in Orange when he needs to be in Hollywood. And Harry and I can’t move in with him at his house in the Hills because he has two roommates. We discussed it, but it’s up in the air right now, especially since he’s going to be gone so much of the summer.”  
  
Her mother sighed after some time. “You know we have money saved up for you if you need help.”  
  
“Say what?” Benny asked.  
  
“When you were a baby, your father and I opened up a savings account for your wedding someday. You father wanted you to have the Cinderella wedding you always wanted,” she said. “But since that’s not going to happen, we don’t have anything to spend it on. Since it was meant for you…”  
  
Benny scoffed. “What happened to this when I was struggling for money for college?”   
  
She shrugged. “This was specifically for a frivolous wedding. You know both your father and I think you should have to work for what you achieve.”  
  
“Mom!” Benny said. “I’m in debt up to my eye balls because of school. If I didn’t have to pay back those loans—that would make everything a little easier.”  
  
“You have to talk to your father about that,” she said.  
  
Benny groaned. “I might as well just divorce Alex and get married again with the money. You know how he is… once Dad’s made up his mind, there’s no changing it.”  
  
“Sounds like someone else I know,” Joie said quietly, looking out her window and smiling.  
  
“Shut up, Joie,” Benny said.   
  
“Well, we’ll help if you need it,” her mother reaffirmed.  
  
Benny sighed. “We won’t need it. We’ll make do.”  
  
She turned and looked out at the highway, letting her thoughts roam. Now, in addition to all of this new relationship stuff, she had to deal with a contract renegotiation, possibly moving, possibly finding more work if the contract negotiation didn’t commence, and a multitude of other things. She’d known all along it wasn’t going to be easy, but she felt slightly indignant that being as she was the one who had to deal with all of this. Alex’s people would take care of his business matters for him; she didn’t have the luxury of ‘people’. Being away in Sweden, he couldn’t very well handle anything relating to their lives here in LA. No, that would all be left up to her.  
  
For the first time since he had shown up at Joie’s wedding a few weeks ago, she really realized the magnitude of all of this and how it was going to affect her life.  
  
And the worst part was she didn’t have the other guilty party here with her to help her through it. For that, Benny wondered, if this was really going to work out after all.  
  
\-----  
  
After she’d put Harrison down for his nap, Benny collapsed on her couch under the cold air coming out of the vent above, thinking about everything running through her head. Her mother and Joie were gone, Alex wasn’t here, she didn’t have his huge family around. For the first time in two weeks, she was alone and able to think. However, now that she had things to think and worry about, she wasn’t so certain it was what she wanted.  
  
As an answer to her prayers, her cell phone started ringing. She picked it up, finding that it was Tess returning her call from earlier.  
  
“Hey,” Benny said into the phone.  
  
“Hi,” Tess said. “How was Sweden?”  
  
“Lovely,” Benny replied. “Wish I was still there. Especially if you’re going to tell me what I think you are.”  
  
“What do you think I’m going to tell you?” Tess asked.  
  
“That they’re not going to renew my contract,” Benny said. “Because of Alex.”  
  
“Oh, they’re renewing you,” Tess said. “I heard from Marianna who heard it from her friend, Sarah, who was talking with Audrey that you’re going to be promoted to assistant costume designer.”  
  
“What?!” Benny asked. “Really?”  
  
Tess laughed. “Uh, yeah. Don’t you remember Alan saying that to you in Vegas?”  
  
“I do, but I didn’t think anything of it with booze circulating the room,” she said.  
  
“Well, they’re going to rehire you,” Tess said, “but I think there’s going to be stipulations.”  
  
“Great.”  
  
Tess sighed. “You’re now married to the hottest commodity on the show, Benny. What do you expect? This is besides the fact that Sue Naegle has a huge crush on Alex. She is the reason he got the part in Gen Kill and then in TB.”  
  
“I forgot about her,” Benny said. Sue, the executive in charge of HBO Entertainment, was the gatekeeper for everything having to do with the show. She made and enforced the decisions of the executives over her on the producers and then it traveled downhill. Benny hadn’t even thought about the trouble Sue could cause her.  
  
“Yeah, well, you’ve got the creative side of the show on your side,” Tess said. “On the business side, you’re not making any friends. They’re looking at Alex like a cash cow right now.”  
  
“Seriously?” Benny asked.  
  
“Yeah. Haven’t you seen the numbers for these first two episodes? All we’re hearing about is Alex this, Alex that now. And I think it can only get worse,” Tess said. “So gird yourself. Have you and Alex discussed publicity issues?”  
  
Benny laughed sarcastically. “Dude, we haven’t talked about anything important yet. We’ve been so caught up trying to figure out everything between ourselves these last few weeks, real life has pretty much gone by the way side.”  
  
“You should probably have a chat about it soon,” Tess said.  
  
“I’ll see what I can do,” Benny said. “Audrey scheduled the meeting with me for the end of the month.”  
  
“Oh,” Tess said. “So you have some time. Yeah, definitely talk to Alex.”  
  
Benny nodded. “I will. Are you free for lunch anytime this week?”  
  
“Let me check my schedule and with Sam,” she replied. “I think he’s planning something.”  
  
“Let me know,” Benny said. “I need to go and sleep for a little while. Jet lag is officially horrible.”  
  
Tess laughed. “Okay, I’ll let you go. Call me if you hear anything else from the studio.”  
  
“I will,” Benny replied. “Say hi to Sam for me.”  
  
“Will do. Sleep tight,” Tess said, hanging up her end.  
  
Benny set the phone on the coffee table in front of her and then lay back on her couch, curling up with a throw pillow. She tried to think about her conversation with Tess, but she couldn’t make herself. Her mind had officially reached the point of complete saturation. And this time, instead of getting a headache, she fell soundly asleep.  
  
It seemed there were small miracles after all.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22  
  
Alexander frowned to himself as he removed the phone from his ear and stared out ahead of him in the dense Los Angeles traffic.  
  
They’d been apart for only about two weeks, but it seemed like ages to him. The fact that their schedules had prohibited any real time to talk via phone of Skype also contributed to the longing feeling he had started noticing a few days after she left.   
  
When it was nine in the morning Stockholm time and he was preparing to film, she was just falling into bed to sleep. When she woke up, he was knee deep into filming and didn’t have time to chat with her. Because filming was so tightly packed due to his weird schedule, he didn’t get home until very late and by then, she was knee deep in her own work. There had been times that they had chatted for longer than a few minutes, but not as much as he wanted and needed to talk with her.  
  
And yet, he also felt as though there was something else going on with Benny. Something that didn’t sit well with him. It was a sense of detachment from her and what was going on in Los Angeles, as though she were purposely trying to keep him out of worrying. Whatever “it” was, he didn’t know, but it had to be important or she wouldn’t be acting as she was. Though he honestly didn’t know all her habits yet, he knew Benny took on many of the troubles around her and refused to let others help her work through them. No matter how many times he tried to tell her he was there now, to help her through tough situations and that he didn’t plan on going anywhere, she kept pushing back and keeping him at arm’s length.  
  
It irritated him, but he understood why she did it. She still protected herself. Why she still felt she had to, he didn’t quite know, but he was determined to find out the answer whether she wanted to tell him or not.  
  
He’d tried calling her upon landing in LA, but she hadn’t answered then, either. So he went to his house to drop his stuff off and collect some fresh clothes before heading out again, this time in pursuit of Benny. He only hoped she was at her house when he arrived.  
  
As he pulled around the corner of the well-manicured street, he breathed a sigh of relief seeing Benny’s tan Ford in the driveway of her house. He pulled up beside it and cut the ignition to his car. After taking a moment to steel himself to what he might find when he went to her door, he stepped out and walked up the pebbled path. Ringing the bell, he heard Harrison’s squeal from somewhere in the house, and then laughed when the toddler poked his head out from the vertical blinds in the living room to see who it was.  
  
“Aunt Joie! It’s Awex!” called the boy, leaving the window.  
  
Very quickly, the door opened and before he could brace himself, the small boy hurdled out of the door and attached to his legs.  
  
“Awex!” Harry squealed.  
  
Alexander bent down and picked up the boy, hugging him close. “Hey, little man. How have you been?”  
  
“Good,” Harry said. “Where Mommy?”  
  
Alexander opened his mouth to respond, but stopped when he saw Joie coming around the corner into the entranceway. “Where’s Benny?”  
  
“She had a meeting at the studio today,” Joie said. “She’s been having troubles with her car so she borrowed mine.”  
  
“What kind of troubles?” he asked. Harry squirmed in his arms so Alex set him on the ground. The toddler ran away.  
  
“The radiator has never worked right, even since she first bought it,” Joie said. “So it has a tendency to overheat all the time during the summer. She didn’t want anything to go wrong getting to the studio.”  
  
“Oh,” he said, making a mental note to make sure he got the problem taken care of for her. He certainly didn’t know how to fix it, but he knew people who did. “It’s because it’s not a European car.”  
  
“Be that as it may,” Joie said, “Benny should be back any time now. So take a load off and wait for her.”  
  
Alexander followed Joie into the living room as Harry ran back carrying more blocks to add to his collection scattered around the living room floor.  
  
“Awex play,” Harry said, pointing to the blocks and sitting down with them. When Alex didn’t move right away, Harry jumped up and grabbed his hand, pulling him to the blocks.  
  
Alexander laughed and settled down with Harry, glad for the simple joy of playing with his son rather than worrying about how complex his life seemed to be at the moment. He knew he’d wanted to start a family for a while, he just hadn’t realized how much so until now. Why had he waited so long to find this? But he knew the answer to that. He had to wait to find Benny, and he had to admit that a few years ago, he wouldn’t have been in the right frame of mind to have this.  
  
One thing remained certain, though. He truly adored his new life, even if there were huge problems that still had to be worked out.  
  
Benny arriving home “anytime now” turned into an hour wait, during which he had more time to spend with Joie, getting to know her better than the little he did. Though Joie could be pushy and short-tempered at times, he genuinely liked her and knew that there was nothing that would change the friendship that she and Benny shared. He just hoped Joie liked him as well.  
  
Eventually, Harrison petered out and fell asleep in his lap. Alex took him into his bedroom and laid him in the crib, watching him sleep for a few minutes. He again wondered what it would be like to have a son of his own blood, but he couldn’t believe the connection he already felt with Harrison. Harrison may not have been his biologically, but Alex didn’t care. This was _his_ son, and he wanted to make it official. Would Benny allow him to formally adopt Harrison?  
  
Alexander pulled the door almost shut and then walked down the hall into the living room in time to find Benny throwing her purse down on the couch beside Joie. The look on her face scared him, as though she were ready to commit murder. Had he overstepped himself by coming without getting a hold of her first?  
  
“Thank god you’re here,” she muttered, nearly bowling him over by the force she grabbed onto him. Her hold mimicked a vice, as though she were trying desperately to stay anchored. He wrapped his arms around her, burying his nose in her soft hair, breathing her pineapple sent. God, he’d missed her. Every part of her.  
  
But that was when he realized she was sniffling.  
  
“Benny, what’s wrong?” he asked.  
  
“Everything,” she said, pulling away from him and wiping at her eyes, her mascara already starting to run.  
  
“Did they let you go after all?” Joie asked carefully.  
  
Benny sighed, trying desperately to gather herself enough to speak.   
  
“What do you mean ‘let you go’?” Alex asked.  
  
Benny looked at him and opened her mouth to speak, but another sniffle escaped instead.  
  
Joie pursed her lips. “Apparently you haven’t heard the rumblings about you at HBO.”  
  
“What rumblings?” he asked.  
  
“True Blood is blowing up, and you’re at the head of the charge,” Joie said. “You’re the new ‘it’ boy.”  
  
“Really?” he asked and then looked at Benny.  
  
Benny sighed. “That means everyone wants a piece of you right now. A hanger-on like myself isn’t good for your sex symbol image the studio is now trying to promote.”  
  
“They’re what?!”  
  
“And no, Joie, they didn’t let me go,” she said. “Well, that’s to say I chose the option that made sure they didn’t let me go. It’s the principal of the matter.”  
  
“What’s going on? I’m so confused,” Alex said.  
  
Benny walked around and flopped onto the couch. Alex followed and sat beside her, but far enough away so she didn’t think he was trying to smother her.  
  
“I’ve been promoted to assistant costume designer on TB because apparently Audrey loves me and Alan wants more historical flashbacks next season,” she replied. “But on the same breath, I’ve been told in no uncertain terms to make myself scarce until filming starts again at the end of the year.”  
  
“What?” Alex felt his anger rising. He knew that the show was popular, and he had heard from his own PR people about the increased interest in him, but he hadn’t stopped to consider what it would mean for Benny or just how _much_ the interest had increased. Or that HBO was allowed to be so controlling.  
  
“HBO wants to protect their interest in promoting you as a single, attractive playboy who, if you’re in a relationship, will be in one only if it’s with another notable actress,” Benny said. “For publicity’s sake.”  
  
Alex grumbled. “This is ridiculous! How could they do such a thing? I’ve given them no right to do this.”  
  
“You did when you signed that contract,” Joie said. “The first year Josh and I started dating was the first year of Lost. They made sure I was out of the picture during promotion times, especially after they saw how popular he was with the female demographic.”  
  
“How did you end their control?” Alex asked.  
  
“Josh made sure his new contracts for the next seasons were changed,” Joie said. “But this is different with you two because you both work together. I’m sure there was a non-fraternization clause in the contract.”  
  
Benny nodded. “It didn’t say as much, but there was a clause in the contract. Only because the relationship started after my contract officially ended did I not get completely fired.”  
  
“It started before then,” Alex muttered.  
  
“What they don’t know won’t kill them,” Benny said.  
  
“Needless to say, it’s a part of being who you are now, Alex,” Joie said. “I’m just saying it’s not uncommon.”  
  
Benny nodded. “I remember that. But it was easier because Josh was in Hawaii for so much of it and you didn’t work on set with him.”  
  
“At least they met you halfway,” Joie said. “They promoted you, but gave you the choice of the new contract with stipulations. I think it’s pretty damn fair as far as a powerful movie studio is concerned. Alex may not be replaceable, but costumers are.”   
  
“Thank, Joie, for that vote of confidence,” Benny snapped. “And I’m not done yet. Apparently, to make sure I won’t be around, they gave me a choice of two other contracts until they need me for True Blood.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“My choices are to go to New Zealand for a TV show based on Spartacus or to go to the UK for a new medieval fantasy series HBO is producing,” Benny said. “The Spartacus one was a personal favor Sue Naegle ‘called’ in for me since it’s not an HBO production.”  
  
Joie frowned. “It would just be easier to go back on the road with your dad.”  
  
“If I don’t do one of these two options, then my contract for True Blood is void,” Benny said. “They’ve given me an all or nothing deal.”  
  
Alex sat back, listening to all of this, completely confused by what was going on. This was all so new to him. Oh, certainly, he had heard horror stories about relationships in such a setting; he just never thought he’d experience it. Ever. This was entirely new territory, and he was beginning to understand why so many people became disillusioned by it all—or worse, turned to alcohol and drugs to cope. Having studios controlling your life for their gain wasn’t right. And again, it seriously made him reconsider his chosen career path.  
  
“What did you choose?” Joie asked.  
  
“The New Zealand one. It’s a supervisory role, and it’s working for Sam Raimi and Robert Tappert,” she said. “I mean, I should be thankful for the opportunity, but they don’t seem to understand that I just can’t pick up and leave for five months.”  
  
“Five months?” He was bewildered. He could barely last two weeks, and now he would have to be away from her for five months? All the plans he’d been making to have her and Harrison come out to Louisiana a few times while he filmed went straight down the drain.  
  
And five months without physical contact—talk about putting a strain on their already strained, new relationship. How could anything survive under these conditions? But then, maybe that’s what The Powers That Be wanted. Maybe they wanted this to end so they could control him more. Or so, as Benny had said, they could place a notable actress with him for publicity.  
  
“I have no idea what I’m going to do with Harry,” Benny said. “He can’t really come to New Zealand with me unless I hire a nanny.”  
  
Joie frowned. “Negotiate for it in your contract.”  
  
“I’m not pushing my luck,” Benny said. “Besides the fact that I have to have JC’s permission to take him with me. And knowing JC, he’ll cause problems just because he can.”  
  
“Oh, I forgot about that,” Joie said. “Well, he can always stay here with Josh and me.”  
  
Alex cleared his throat. “Or he could stay with me.”  
  
“You’re working, too, Alex,” Benny said.  
  
“I know, but I’ll only be in Shreveport for two months,” he said. “We can work something out that I can take him whenever I’m not on location. It might help, too, bonding wise.”  
  
Joie nodded along with him. “He does have a point.”  
  
Benny sighed and shook her head, staring off into space. Undoubtedly, her thoughts were going a mile a minute right now. Alex wished he could take away her worry and troubles this time, but he didn’t know how. And that angered him more than anything else that was going on at the moment. He couldn’t do what he wanted to do to help her.  
  
“I just don’t know how I’m going to be away from my son for five months,” she said. “I’m going to miss his birthday.”  
  
Her tears started anew at this.  
  
Alexander stood up and began pacing. Usually the pacing made him feel better and he could think more clearly. Today that wasn’t the case. Now it just riled him more. “This is ridiculous. You shouldn’t have to do this just because of some stupid studio execs and me. I can threaten to pull out…”  
  
“You’ll be in breach of your own contracts then, Alex,” she said. “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. We’ll work through it. We have to. It’s one of those not-so-happy things that we get to deal with because of what we did.”  
  
He didn’t like that answer, no matter how true it was.  
  
She sighed. “I mean, I could give up the True Blood contract and go traveling with Dad. But that’s a considerable pay cut… and before you say anything, no, I don’t want you paying for everything. You’re my husband, not my keeper.”  
  
“I would work double if I had to do it to make you and Harrison comfortable,” he said.  
  
“And you know me well enough by now to know that I would go insane if I wasn’t doing anything productive,” she said.  
  
He nodded his head.  
  
“I need to go lie down,” Benny announced. “I was up all night worrying about this meeting, and I’m exhausted right now.”  
  
Joie stood up with her and pulled her into her arms. The normally brash, loud Joie suddenly turned into a concerned, loving sister as she brushed Benny’s hair back and hugged her close. “We’ll figure this out, Ben. All of us will work together if you really want to stay working for HBO. But honestly, after all this, I don’t know why you would.”  
  
“I just need to rest,” she said.  
  
“I know,” Joie said. “I’m headed home. We’ll talk tomorrow.”  
  
Benny nodded her head and moved past Joie and him, heading back into the bedroom. Joie stood still and waited until Benny had shut her door. He half expected Joie to cut loose on him regarding this being his fault though it wasn’t something he had no control over. Instead, Joie sighed.   
  
“Take care of her, Alex. I know she says she doesn’t want it, but she doesn’t mean it. She does this all the time. The problem is, no man has ever just done what he thought was right anyway. They’ve all ‘listened’ to her.”  
  
Alex nodded.  
  
“Okay, I’m going,” she said. “You also have my number if you need me to decipher more of her language, right?”  
  
“I do,” he replied.  
  
“Good,” Joie said. “Later.”  
  
Alex sat still until Joie had left the house. After awhile, he walked to the front door, locking the deadbolt. He then went back to her bedroom, knocking softly on her door.  
  
“Come in,” she called, her voice heavy with sadness.  
  
He stepped in to find her curled up on the bed, dabbing tears away with a tissue. She sniffled and moved over on the bed for him to join her. Easing down, she quickly rolled over into his arms, burying her face in his chest again, holding him tightly.  
  
Alex suddenly felt a very odd pang in his chest. He’d never felt such a thing before, and had he not known better, he might have passed it off as indigestion. No. This was different. Alex was certain, that for the first time in his life, he understood what people talked about when they felt helpless to help the people whom they loved the most. He always had the answer to his friends and family member’s problems. He was the leader. He had been as the eldest brother. He was one now.  
  
But now he didn’t have an answer. And it made him sad and angry all at once. Sad because his wife was crying in his arms and angry because she cried due to people who thought they could control others’ lives for their personal gain.  
  
He hated it and it seriously made him reconsider his priorities. But he knew this was his life now. And he and Benny would just have to make it work.  
  
“I love you, Benny,” he said.  
  
She let out a shuddering sob. “I don’t even know why I’m crying. I should be overjoyed by the doors this had opened up for me. This is my dream and I’m moving up faster in the ranks than I should be with such limited experience. But things changed when I had Harry. And now we’re married. We haven’t even talked about living arrangements, bills… all the important stuff and I’m going to be whisked away for work. For five months. I won’t be able to take my son or my husband with me. It’s just so much on my mind and it’s built up ever since I got back from Sweden.”  
  
“So that’s why you’ve been distant.”  
  
“Have I?” she asked. “I didn’t notice.”  
  
“You were preoccupied. I was worried that you were reconsidering being married to me,” he said. “And I have to say, after all this, I should think you’re reconsidering staying married to me.”  
  
“The funny thing is, Alex, it didn’t even cross my mind,” she said. “And that’s a little scary for me, too.”  
  
Alex couldn’t stop the smile that crossed his lips. Despite the situation, it made his heart soar that she thought such a thing because he felt the same way about her.  
  
“So you’re really going to go?” he asked.  
  
Benny nodded. “I have to. It’s the principle of the matter. This is beside the fact that I don’t necessarily want it to get out yet that we’re married. Not yet. Not until we’re settled a little bit more into this.”  
  
“I understand that,” he said. “No one else needs to know our personal life other than us.”  
  
“Right,” she said.  
  
He sighed, brushing his lips across her forehead. “I’m sorry your being married to me has caused so much trouble.”  
  
“Be quiet, Alex,” she said. “You’re stuck with me and Harry.”  
  
“There’s not two other people I’d rather be stuck with,” he said. “But speaking of Harry, what do you think about me adopting him formally?”  
  
She was silent for a long time, just looking at him. So silent, in fact, he grew worried that she was angry.  
  
“Alex, I would love it,” she said. “ _If_ this works out. I don’t want you to adopt him and then it doesn’t work out between us and it was all for naught. I can’t do that to Harry.”  
  
“Okay,” he said. “Can I have my lawyers look into it? Just to see what the process is?”  
  
Benny nodded. “Of course.”  
  
“Good.”  
  
She yawned and drew a hand up to her lips. “Gosh, I’m tired.”  
  
“Well, go to sleep,” he said.  
  
She nodded her head and closed her eyes, shifting slightly. As she drifted off into sleep, he watched her.   
  
He would make this right in the end. He had to.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23  
  
Benny started awake at a peal of high-pitched child’s laughter coming from somewhere in the house, her senses immediately on alert. Over the laughter, she heard Alex’s deeper voice making train chugging noises.   
  
She glanced at the time on the alarm clock, the vivid green letters reading 8:30. Lovely. Now she wouldn’t sleep tonight, starting an unending cycle of sleep deprivation. Sighing, she rested her head back and relaxed a moment, enjoying the calmness of the room for a few moments. Anything so she didn’t have to go back to real life, as amazing and as horrible it was all at the same time.  
  
Shifting onto her side, she groaned at the tightness in her muscles. She felt like shit. Every part of her body ached from the tension she’d been carrying around the past few weeks. Now that everything had come to a head at her meeting, it seemed to have intensified her pain.  
  
Benny had always considered herself a strong person, but she felt as though she had finally met her match, and that was the Powers That Be at HBO. She knew most studio execs were like this, and for very good reason. Their main goal in life was to turn a profit. If they didn’t turn a profit, then their jobs were on the chopping block, along with hundreds of other peoples’ jobs. With someone like Alex on the cast of a popular show raking in money left and right, they were going to do anything they possibly could to promote his image, even if it wasn’t the image he envisioned for himself. She knew it would be like this. It was one of the reasons she didn’t want to get into a relationship with him in the first place.  
  
Now look at her… married to the man.  
  
They hadn’t said much about particulars at her meeting, but she knew no one liked the idea of her being married to Alex. Especially if it meant a potentially messy divorce that could bring bad press to one of their actors. And that was only one worry on their long list of worries.  
  
What really pained her was the fact that she almost had to agree with the board of directors and their thoughts on the matter. She’d probably do the same thing had she been in their positions and them in hers.  
  
It wasn’t good for business, plain and simple. Being linked to an actress would be better, if he absolutely, positively had to be in a relationship with anyone. It didn’t even have to be someone from the show, either. Anyone would do. Just so long as it got Alex, the studio and the show more attention.  
  
But that worried her. What were they planning on doing while she was out of the country? Were they going to put someone under Alex’s nose in hopes of destroying their relationship? Or were they simply hoping that separation would mean their relationship would fall apart? Benny didn’t know and she wasn’t sure she really wanted to know, either.  
  
She trusted Alex to make the right decision. She’d given him plenty of chances to have an out of this relationship and marriage, but he’d fought tooth and nail to keep it. And that meant more to her than anything else in the world.   
  
After JC, who wouldn’t have fought for anything because he had five others waiting to substitute in for her, the fact that Alex was also willing to adopt Harry, without her ever asking him to, made it easier to trust him. She thought she understood men well enough to know they wouldn’t intentionally go out of their way to be encumbered by a toddler if they didn’t have to.  
  
He really loved her, and he really wanted to see this work, but she wasn’t stupid enough to think there weren’t going to be problems or the possibility that despite their best intentions it didn’t work out after all.  
  
She just wished she didn’t have to go to New Zealand to prove to everyone that despite the separation, this wasn’t some fly-by-night romance. They were going to make this work, no matter what others threw in their path to stop them.  
  
Benny sighed and tossed the covers back. She needed to stop thinking about it for tonight. Alexander was home for a few days before heading back to Sweden, and she planned to use what little time she had left with him before leaving for New Zealand. She stopped off at the bathroom and washed the make up from her face and brushed out her messy hair, tying it back into a pony tail. There was no hope for her bloodshot, puffy eyes, though.  
  
With a sigh, she padded out of the room and came out into the living room, finding Harry sitting in Alex’s lap. Alex read aloud from a small book, asking Harry questions as they went along, changing his voice for characters and adding sound effects. Lucky for Harry, he had a professional actor who was a ham for attention as his stepfather.  
  
There had to be something really horrible about this man she was missing. He seemed too perfect. Well, perfect for her, anyway. She knew there was a lot to be desired in certain areas of his life, but there honestly wasn’t one thing she could find in him that was a deal breaker.  
  
Perhaps that meant she had truly found the one she was meant to share her life with.  
  
“There’s pizza on the counter, Benny,” he said.  
  
“Mmm,” she hummed and headed to the kitchen to find a box of Papa John’s delivery on the counter. Okay, so maybe he wasn’t perfect. He didn’t cook. And he liked olives on his pizza. She grabbed a few slices and put them on a plate. As she reached into the refrigerator for a Coke, the doorbell rang.  
  
“Mommy!” cried Harry.  
  
“I know,” she said as Alex started getting up. “I’ve got it.”  
  
She walked toward the door and opened it. It took her a few moments to register who was standing in front of her door. But as soon as it had filtered through her brain, she slammed the door shut.  
  
“Mommy? Who outside?” Harry asked.  
  
“No one,” she said. “Go back to Alex.”  
  
“Who is it, Benny?” Alex asked, looking worried as he came into the entrance hall.  
  
Benny looked at him. “No one important.”  
  
“Benny…” he said. He walked to the door and opened it again, the offensive man still standing on the other side. First, looking past Alex at her, then at Harry standing beside her, and then he stepped back seeing the tall, imposing man in front of him.  
  
“Who are you?” Alex asked.  
  
“JC,” said the smaller man.  
  
Alex’s posture change considerably. He stood straighter and his lips drew into a firm line. His muscles tensed. “What the hell do you want?”  
  
“To see my son and Benny,” he replied.  
  
“Why are you _really_ here, JC?” she asked.  
  
He reached behind him and into his back pocket, pulling out his leather wallet. From the wallet he extracted a check which he handed over to her. Benny stared without really seeing the piece of paper, but couldn’t help herself. She took the check, finding that it was made out to her.  
  
And it was at least a year’s worth of child support.  
  
“Is it going to bounce just like the last one twenty-three months ago?” she asked.  
  
JC looked offended and embarrassed, shifting his eyes over to Alex.  
  
“Mommy, who dat?” Harrison wrapped an arm around the back of her leg.  
  
Benny looked down at the spitting image of the older man standing in the door and sighed. “That’s JC.”  
  
“I’m your daddy,” JC said.  
  
“No! Dis Daddy,” Harrison said, shaking his head and walking over to Alex. “Awex Daddy.”  
  
Benny felt overwhelming delight at how perturbed that made JC. Neither could she keep the swelling in her chest when she saw the surprise and complete acceptance of the responsibility Harry had bestowed upon Alex on Alex’s face. Alex smiled softly, resting a big hand on Harry’s head.  
  
“How ‘bout you and I go get ready for bed?” Alex asked Harry.  
  
“Okay,” Harry replied simply, turning around and heading back into the house and his room.  
  
Alex looked at her. “You going to be okay?”  
  
“Sure,” Benny said.   
  
He leaned down and gave her a long, slow kiss, a hand circling possessively around her hip and resting on her back to hold her still against him. She went weak in the knees, and her brain turned to mush at the simple, primal act of possession Alex had made on her toward JC.  
  
Alex stepped back and gave JC one last look before going away. Benny turned to look at JC.  
  
“So it’s true, then,” JC said. “You did get married.”  
  
Benny nodded. “It doesn’t matter to you.”  
  
JC shrugged and leaned against the doorjamb. “Just wait, he’ll see what he’s missing out there by staying with you. He’ll leave you. Hopefully he’s smart enough and uses protection all the time so he’s not stuck with child support payments.”  
  
“Fuck you,” Benny said, tearing up the check in her hands. “Go away, JC. I don’t want your money, whether it’s good or not.”  
  
“Funny that you don’t want it and yet the claim keeps preventing me from living life,” he said. “Everything I try to do, I can’t, because of the stupid judgement on my records. At least in Georgia they don’t take your license for a judgement in California.”  
  
“Uh, am I supposed to feel sorry?” she asked. “ ‘Cause I don’t.”  
  
He scoffed.  
  
“Why are you here, JC, other than to cause a huge headache?” she asked.  
  
“Do I need a reason to see my son?” he questioned innocently. Unfortunately for him, he wasn’t that amazing an actor.  
  
She reached for the door. “Goodbye, JC.”  
  
“So you don’t care if I go to every gossip rag in the country blabbing about your marriage?” he asked.  
  
“You wouldn’t.”  
  
He shrugged. “You shouldn’t have let the rumor mill get back to me, Benny. I can cause a lot of trouble for you and Alex, and not even in the publicity sense. Imagine what’ll happen if the courts find out you got married in a drunken stupor? How does that look when you’re caring for our son?”  
  
“I refuse to let you use him as a pawn in this fucking game you’ve got going in your head,” Benny said. “Go, get your five minutes of fame on Perez Hilton. Alex is getting bigger, but he’s not that big yet.”  
  
“Get rid of the support judgement, and I’ll leave you both alone,” he said. “It shouldn’t be too bad now that you have a sugar daddy to pay for everything.”  
  
Benny scoffed. “I don’t choose the men I sleep with based on their bank accounts or their fame. I mean, if I did, I wouldn’t have given you the time of day seven years ago.”  
  
He had the nerve to be incensed by the insult.  
  
“The only reason I signed the paternity document when Harry was born was because I was coerced into it,” he explained flatly. “Your father and Mansour can be pretty fucking persuasive when they need to be.”  
  
“As far as I’m concerned, we all would have been a whole hell of a lot happier without you signing anything,” she said. “I will gladly sign anything that relinquishes your connection to Harry. Frankly, we should have done it two years ago.”  
  
JC stepped back from the door. “I’ll have the lawyer take care of it.”  
  
“You do that,” she said, slamming the door and locking it. Hot tears stung the back of her eyes. The problem was, she didn’t know if they tears of anger or sadness. She hated that man more than anything else in the world, so much so that it made her physically sick. That she had ever been in a relationship with him, much less for how _long_ she’d been an idiot and stayed with him, made her seriously question her better judgement.  
  
Alex wasn’t like JC, though. Right?  
  
“Mommy? Where Gay-C?”   
  
Benny turned around and bent down, picking up her son now clad in his favorite Thomas the Tank pajamas. She squeezed him to her chest and breathed in the scent of his hair. In it was the faint trace of Alex’s woodsy cologne. And it made her smile despite the anger roiling inside her. This was how it was supposed to be.  
  
“Where’s Alex?” she asked.  
  
“Phone,” Harry said.  
  
Benny sighed, hugging him closer for a few moments longer.  
  
“I love you, Harrison,” she said softly, kissing his forehead.  
  
“I wuv you,” he repeated and rested his head on her shoulder, wrapping his arms around her neck. “I sweepy, Mommy.”  
  
“Let’s go to bed, my love,” she said.   
  
After reading a short story to Harry and leaving his room for the night, Benny realized she felt just as exhausted as she had before her nap. Sleep would eventually come easy to her, but first she had to find Alex. She knew that he was hiding out in her bedroom, because she’d heard him talking on the phone in Swedish to someone and then English to someone else.  
  
She came into the bedroom to find his clothes scattered about and the water turning on in the shower. Undressing as she followed his trail, she hoped that he wouldn’t mind her joining him. She needed a lot of stress relief and she knew without a doubt just what would do the trick.  
  
But first she had to stop and admire his ass. It took a few moments to notice when he had turned around, her thoughts having got the better of her. Benny moaned softly, letting her eyes drift up his tanned, lithe body. The muscle tone and weigh he had been slowly gaining for his new role in Straw Dogs was amazing.  
  
He was beautiful regularly, but there was something special about him when he was covered in water. The thought that flit across her mind about how that was all hers made her grin wickedly.  
  
Alex popped his head out of the shower. “All the hot water’s going to be gone by the time you get in here. Remember last time?”  
  
“I almost prefer the view,” she said.  
  
“Yes, well, I am a tactile man,” he replied as she stepped out of her underwear and into the hot stream of water from the shower head. His hands slid down her back and over her hips, digging into her flesh and turning her around so her back was to him. Then his wonderful fingers massaged expertly up over her shoulders and neck.  
  
She moaned and let her head loll to the side. “I think I’ll keep you around just for this.”  
  
His chuckle was low and deep in his throat. As he continued massaging her, and then massaging her scalp with the shampoo and conditioner, Benny’s mind wandered. And unfortunately it was to an upsetting thought. Why had JC shown up today of all days? Did he somehow have something to do with what happened at HBO?  
  
No. It couldn’t be. Despite his oversized ego, JC was not a superstar with connections at HBO. It was probably just all coincidence.   
  
Benny pushed away from Alex and turned around, struggling to keep her mind firmly planted on what was happening to her at the moment. Alex was the only thing that was important right now. Him and his wonderful hands. And now his hard body, pressing her back against the cool tile wall, causing an odd sensation that she found she enjoyed considerably.  
  
He somehow had enough presence of mind to reach over and shut the water off as it became tepid rather than steaming, but he never stopped kissing her after he started. That in and of itself was masterful.  
  
“We should probably talk about what happened,” he said when he finally had to move back to breathe for a few moments.  
  
“You say that, but your body doesn’t agree,” she replied, grasping his erection in her hand.  
  
He hissed from pleasure. “No, it doesn’t.”  
  
Benny sighed as his hands dipped between them and found the v between her legs. “Tomorrow. We’ll spend the day together, just you and I. We’ll send Harry to Joie’s or Mom and Dad’s.”  
  
“I have something to do in the morning,” he replied. “But we’ll go to lunch and spend the rest of the day together.”  
  
“Good,” she said, standing on her toes to kiss him again. “We’ll sort this all out.”  
  
He nodded. “Yes.”  
  
“Take me to bed, Alex,” she said.  
  
“You’re all wet,” he said.  
  
“You have no idea,” she giggled, winking. “So are you.”  
  
He raised one eyebrow at her, but she grabbed a hold of his hand and stepped out of the shower, pulling him out into the bedroom. The stopped at the foot of the bed, and she turned to look at him. His arms surrounded her in an instant and his lips trailed down her neck.  
  
“I want you to possess me, Alex,” she said. “Make me yours. Like you did in front of JC.”  
  
His teeth scraped lightly on her right shoulder, his tongue laving the spot. “You sure?”  
  
“Yes,” she replied.  
  
He picked her up and dropped her back on the bed, crawling over her and pinning her still, one of his hands holding her wrists over her head. Never before had he taken this dominant a role in their lovemaking, but she knew suddenly that she liked it. And she knew he liked the power, too, even if it wasn’t to the extreme some people dominated. She felt almost as though he had been holding back before. There were certainly glimpses, but he always reined himself in tightly.  
  
But not this time.  
  
She was thankful for it, too, because she was tired of being the dominant force in everything. She needed someone to take care of her as much as she took care of everyone else.   
  
Finally, she had found a man who could fulfill that role for her.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24  
  
Alexander tapped his fingers on the long boardroom table, staring with little feeling at the large wall mounted flat screen displaying a reel of current HBO projects. He’d been sitting here for the past thirty minutes waiting for someone to acknowledge him, and still nothing had happened. Of course, he knew the meeting he had called was last minute and in this business, time was money, but he hoped that if his status on the show was so important to them that they would do everything in their power to keep him happy.   
  
When he had called his manager the previous evening, Larry had told him he would see that there was a meeting convened—after Larry had picked himself off the floor and calmed down from his own tirade about the unplanned marriage.  
  
Larry wouldn’t promise anything, though. Apparently, this wasn’t the first client something like this had happened to, and there wasn’t a good chance anything would change. He’d wanted to punch something when Larry had told him that, but he knew in his heart of hearts that it was the case with most actors in his position. However, Alex had always been a subscriber of the belief that where there was a will, there was a way. Now he just had to find the way to make this all right.  
  
“You don’t have any illegitimate love children I should know about, do you?” Larry asked, as he scrolled through his email on his iPhone.  
  
“Not that I know of,” Alex replied. He wasn’t very impressed with Larry’s attitude about all of this, either. Alexander just couldn’t understand it. He’d simply married someone he loved. Not in the most “kosher” way possible, but it still stood that he loved the person he married. He hadn’t been arrested. He hadn’t killed someone. He had done nothing wrong. And they all acted as though he’d committed the worst sin imaginable.  
  
Larry nodded, typing something on his screen.  
  
“I just want to know why I’m being marketed like this when I never said okay to it,” Alex said. “I’ve been up all night wondering how I ever gave that impression.”  
  
Larry looked up over his phone at him with a blank expression and then finished what he was doing on his phone and set it down. His manager sighed. “Alex, when we first met, you told me you wanted acting to be your career and you wanted diverse leading man roles. And that you wanted to be popular. Right?”  
  
“Of course,” Alex said.  
  
“Unfortunately, the only way to get that in Hollywood is by creating a brand for yourself,” Larry said. “You’ve spoken with publicists about it. I was in the room. We have to make you accessible to the public. We have to get you out there to make you a catch for studios on these big movies.”  
  
“And how does being married make me unmarketable?” he asked. “It’s like I married an axe murderer.”  
  
“Do you know that she’s not?” Larry asked.  
  
A violent zing of anger shot through him and it was everything he could do not to hit the man.  
  
“Okay, so she’s not,” Larry said.   
  
“She’s not going to be out there in the spotlight or anything,” Alex said. “She doesn’t want to be.”  
  
“Whether she wants to be or not, once it gets out that you’re married, she’ll have no choice but to be in the spotlight with you and hopefully at your side,” Larry said. “Nobody wants this for their significant others, but it’s a side effect of the profession. Especially with your celebrity blowing up like it is.”  
  
“Why do they care?” Alexander asked. “I just don’t get it. People in Sweden…”  
  
“People in Sweden think the same thing, they just have a different way of showing it,” Larry replied.  
  
Alex sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “But shouldn’t they like her? She’s normal. She’s grounded. She’s not some idiot actress I’m together with for publicity. I’m with her because I truly love her.”  
  
“And they give a rat’s ass,” Larry said. “We have a demographic that we have to sell with you right now. And those are women between the ages of 18 and 50. They don’t like to see their leading men in relationships. They like to be able to imagine themselves as their favorite actor’s girlfriend or wife. Women are fucking catty and will tear anyone you’re dating apart whether she’s Mother Teresa or Courtney Love.”  
  
“But HBO… how do they have the right to keep Benny out of my life like this?” he asked.  
  
Larry shrugged. “From everything you’ve told me, they’ve done nothing out of the scope of their rights as your boss. Workplace romance is generally frowned upon. You’re actually lucky they didn’t just let her go.”  
  
“Workplace romance?” Alex scoffed. “Tons of actors and actresses have had relationships with each other while working on set. Take Anna and Stephen.”  
  
“The same leniency doesn’t extend to crew,” Larry said. “Two actors together that work on the same project is a gold mine for promotion and PR… like Anna and Stephen. All your being in a relationship with a nobody does is ruin a lot of your initial sex symbol popularity. I know it fucking sucks, but that’s just the way things are. Get used to it or get out. That’s the best advice I can give you, Alex, as bad as it may be.”  
  
Alex still didn’t approve of it.  
  
Larry sighed. “At least they’re being open minded about it and found an alternative for her this summer and fall. That says a lot for her talent and work ethic if they’re going through all this to keep her staffed. You just have to live with it, Alex. It will be different next season because your fan base will be more settled into you as a favorite. They’ll still hate your wife, but they won’t leave the show or you because of it.”  
  
“I guess,” Alexander said just as the door to the conference room opened. In stepped Alan and no one else. At least it was someone who liked Benny enough.  
  
“Hi, Alex,” Alan said, shaking his hand and sitting down at the head of the table between him and Larry. “How has your break been?”  
  
“Great and not so great,” he replied.  
  
Alan nodded his head. “I know why you’re here, and I’m sorry to say there’s nothing you or I can do about it.”  
  
“Nothing at all?” Alex said. “What about contract renegotiation?”  
  
“Your contract for season two extends until all episodes have aired,” Alan said. “And we will not begin season three negotiations until the new season has been officially announced.”  
  
“But you did Benny’s already?”   
  
“The potential risk to the show caused the executives to take notice of your relationship with Benny,” Alan said. “I lobbied for her, Alex, trust me. She’s a great costumer and I see a lot of potential in her. So does Audrey. But it’s just one of those lines in this business you don’t cross between talent and crew.”  
  
Alex scoffed. “Sam and Tess are together. Or haven’t you found out about that yet? What are you going to do to them?”  
  
“I am aware of their relationship,” Alan said. “But Sam isn’t in the same boat as you. He’s much lower profile than you are in such a huge, crucial role.”  
  
“Well, my huge, crucial role better be reflected in the new contracts for next season.” Alex could barely contain his anger. He knew Alan didn’t want this; Alan was merely the figurehead for this production and had to do the studio’s dirty work.  
  
Larry jumped in then. “Alex, calm down. When negotiations come around, we’ll get it all sorted out.”  
  
“But I can’t seem to ignore the fact that the way the timing is means Benny will already be in New Zealand and be into the full swing of her new show before anything in my contract can change,” Alex replied. “Meanwhile, she’s stuck half way across the world for five months and had to find someone to take care of her son when I’m not in LA.”  
  
“She has a kid?” Larry asked.  
  
Alex nodded. “I told you that.”  
  
Larry didn’t say anything. He merely picked up his iPhone again and very calmly typed something else into it.  
  
“I’m sorry, Alex. Truly, I am,” Alan said. “I did my best for her. At least she has two contracts now, instead of none.”  
  
“That doesn’t make this any better,” he said. “HBO is basically telling us we can’t be open to the public. We can’t go anywhere together where there might be paparazzi. We can’t be a couple.”  
  
Alan sighed. “Were you two planning on subjecting yourselves to the public so soon? I thought Benny said yesterday you wanted to keep it private?”  
  
“We do want to keep it private,” Alex said, “but that’s not the point. The point is the studio is choosing whom I can and cannot have a relationship with and that pisses me off. They have no right!”  
  
“Benny seemed to understand all of this better than you,” Alan said. “She didn’t put up much of a fight about it. She knew what was at stake when you two decided to stay together. You know, Sue, Mike and Richard might not have even realized anything was going on if you hadn’t mauled her in front of everyone at the after party.”  
  
Alex stood up hastily, pushing his chair under the table. He paced a few steps and turned to look at the two men who watched him carefully. Neither seemed much fazed by his reaction, and as he paused to meet each of their gazes, he did see some modicum of sympathy.  
  
“If I sign for next season, I demand that nothing like this happens again,” Alex said. “If Benny gets any more backlash from this, I walk right out the door.”  
  
“Alex, let’s not be rash,” Larry said, sitting up straighter. “This would be a big dent in your career if you did something like that.”  
  
“Frankly, they’re lucky I’m not walking now,” Alex said. “The only reason I’m not is because Benny told me not to.”  
  
Alan tried to hide the faint smile on his lips, but not very well. “She’s a smart woman, Alex. This season is going to boost you up into that level of recognition we all want in our careers. She knows that, and that’s why she told you to stay put.”  
  
Alex paused, thinking over what Alan had said to him. It made sense and he knew, logically, he had to stay on the show to continue making the amount of money he needed to in order to support her like he planned. Getting her to one day actually take a break and allow him to do so would be another story all together, though.  
  
“I just don’t want it at the sacrifice of my freedom,” he said. “That’s one of the reasons why I left Sweden. I was sick of being categorized as a young, handsome guy in my roles.”  
  
“You won’t,” Larry said. “What being a sex symbol here does is it opens up doors for you. Look at George Clooney or Brad Pitt… hell, even Johnny Depp. They’re all offered cream of the crop rolls because studios know that not only do they have the talent, they’ll also bring in their hordes of fans.”  
  
“And none of them have normal romantic lives,” he said. “Look at the circus around Brad and Angelina. George Clooney is… still single. And Johnny had to move to France to have a normal life.”  
  
Larry and Alan both sighed, sharing a look that made it seem they were long suffering and that he wasn’t the first person who had complained about this.  
  
It definitely made him realize he might seem a bit whiny, but he just didn’t understand it at all. This whole Hollywood ideal was so new to him, and he seriously had started to wonder if he would ever get used to it. Maybe he should just pack up Benny and Harry now, move back to Sweden and call it a day.  
  
But he couldn’t even do that. He couldn’t take Benny away from her family.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I just… need to go. I need some perspective on the matter.”  
  
With that, he left the room, hoping no one stopped him.   
  
\----  
  
After dropping Harrison off at his grandparents for the day, and receiving a summons to bring Alex for dinner that night, Benny returned home to get some much needed work done on her last few remaining orders. She would have to get them completed before leaving next week… and even then, she’d have to leave them in Joie’s capable hands if any of the dresses needed alterations. Joie couldn’t sew a straight line if it killed her, but she knew people who could take care of anything.  
  
It was all just one huge wrench in her life, but she refused to let them win. But then, did going to New Zealand and agreeing to their plan mean that she had lost or won? There were pros and cons on either side, but she could not say definitively from her perspective where she came out in it all.  
  
Maybe only time would tell her, but it still didn’t make her any less angry. Who were these people any way to tell her to “disappear” from Alex’s life just so they could tout him as an available man? The fact that she knew Alex appearing single, or at least unmarried, at this pertinent time in his career was important only pissed her off more. She loved him too much to make him lose the one thing he probably wanted more than her: stardom. Sure, she knew he would give it up in a heartbeat if she so much as hinted at the possibility, but she couldn’t be responsible for doing that to him. Not in a million years.  
  
It’d be tantamount to him saying she could never sketch and make a new dress for the hell of it.  
  
She was so lost in her thoughts and worries that she didn’t even notice the shadow that fell over her until he spoke.  
  
“Benny?” he asked.  
  
She lifted her foot from the pedal, the whirring of the machine stopping instantly. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t hear you.”  
  
He knelt down in front of her as she turned in her swivel chair. Leaning into her, he placed a hard kiss on her lips, his hands holding her face and then tangling into her hair. Even though she had her eyes closed, she could sense that he was full of turmoil from his touch and his kiss.  
  
“What’s wrong?” she asked.  
  
He moved back from her and settled onto his haunches. “I’m fucking pissed off.”  
  
“Where did you go?”   
  
“I called a special meeting at the studio today,” he said. Alex stood and began pacing the short length of the room. “My manager seemed flippant about the whole ordeal, and basically said suck it up. And Alan couldn’t do anything more… not until I sign new contracts for the next season. By the time they do that, you’ll already be a month or more into your new contract.”  
  
“Oh, Alex, you didn’t have to go down there,” she said.  
  
“THEN I’m walking through a shopping center after getting coffee and I run into fucking TMZ,” he replied. “And it all just really hit home for me. I can’t control this anymore. It’s out of my fucking hands now… what I’ve created for myself. I never wanted it to get out of my hands like this, Benny. I wanted big movies, but I didn’t want… this.”  
  
Benny stood from her seat and walked over to him, stopping his pacing with a hand on his arm. He froze and looked down at her, realizing what he’d been doing. “First of all, take a breath.”  
  
He took a long breath and let it out through his lips slowly.  
  
“Good,” she replied. “Now, forget about it. This is your career and you need this attention from fans and the paparazzi. Don’t look at me like that. You do. In this town, when you don’t have the coverage, you don’t have anything. I mean, look at Paris Hilton. She’d be nothing if she didn’t have the paps on speed dial.”  
  
“Now you’re starting to sound like Alan and Larry,” he said.  
  
Benny pulled her hand back from him, the acid in his voice burning her. “Oh, don’t you fucking bite my head off. You did this to yourself, buddy. I didn’t choose the role that put you in this situation with the studio.”  
  
“Yes, but if we weren’t married, I wouldn’t have to worry about this shit,” he said.   
  
It might as well have been a slap from his hand, because it had about the same affect on her. She staggered slightly, trying to keep her tears from falling.  
  
He realized his error almost instantly and his whole demeanor changed. His tense shoulders slumped and he reached out for her, but she backed away from him.  
  
“No,” she said.  
  
“Benny,” he started.  
  
“No.”  
  
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” Even he cringed at his own clichéd words.  
  
Benny swallowed her emotion and managed to meet his eyes. “If it would be easier for you that we weren’t married, then just tell me, but just so you know—I’m not the only one they’ll try to keep out of the public’s eye. Every woman you are ever with that you choose, they’ll ask you to keep a secret.”  
  
His hands balled into large fists. “Benny, stop! I didn’t mean it. I truly didn’t. I’m just so livid right now.”  
  
“Then stop being livid,” she said. “What’s done is done, and now we know what we have to do in the future to make everything right. I will go to New Zealand, you will continue with your current schedule and we’ll start the new season of True Blood wiser. They can’t keep me away forever, you know.”  
  
He sighed.  
  
“But I don’t want you to go,” he said. “I can’t be without you for five months.”  
  
Benny couldn’t help the smile that crossed her face or her heart that fluttered, despite her anger at him. “I know how hard it’s going to be, Alex. How do you think I feel? I’m the one who’s going to be halfway across the world from everyone I love. But you know what? I’ll live for five months.”  
  
He nodded and slumped into her chair, seemingly exhausted. “I guess I can live for five months, if I can have you the rest of my life.”  
  
She grinned like an idiot. “See, you say things like that, and I remember why I love you.”  
  
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I do love you and I know I’m being selfish and hypocritical about all of this. I wanted to have this career. I guess it just didn’t hit me it would be at the sacrifice of the people I loved and my own privacy.”  
  
“Well, we’ll get used to it,” she said. “And we’ll figure the next five months out. First, we need to celebrate Harry’s birthday while I’m still here.”  
  
“Won’t he get confused?” he asked.  
  
Benny shrugged. “Of course he will, but by this time next year, he’ll still be asking everyday from June to July when his birthday is. So it doesn’t matter.”  
  
“So you’re really going for five months?” he asked.   
  
“I think so,” she replied. “I’m not thrilled I’m going for this reason, but this is going to help my career, and I think probably even help us. I mean, maybe we need this experience of working through everything so far apart to prove to use that when we do live together we can make anything work?”  
  
He smiled and pulled her toward him, into his lap. “I like the way you think.”  
  
“You do?” she laughed and kissed his lips lightly.  
  
“This is all really happening, isn’t it?”  
  
“Yeah, it is,” she said.  
  
He chuckled acerbically.  
  
“What?” she asked.  
  
“I just find it funny. Everything I’ve ever wanted in my life has happened all at the same time, and now that it has, I don’t know if I can handle it all,” he replied. “And then I get confused and think that all I wanted isn’t what I really wanted… that maybe I just wanted some of those things… like a family of my own. Not all this Hollywood crap.”  
  
Benny ran her hands through his short hair and kissed him again. “How does it feel, then, to have the world at your fingertips?”  
  
“The power is heady,” he replied.  
  
“Use it wisely, Alex,” she said.  
  
“I plan to.”  
  
Benny smiled again and wrapped her arms around him. There was no other place she would rather be for the rest of her life than in this position, but her absence from it would only make her return that much sweeter.  
  
And she couldn’t wait.  
  
  
  
  
  
 _fin._


End file.
